Foot in mouth misreading

Talk about the power of associative (or simply lazy) processing of random information: I was slightly incensed lately about the article in the British Medical Journal by the incomparable Tom Hickey, one of the chief promoters of the "boycott Israel" initiatives. And this headline in CNN fits very well into that slightly incensed stream of semi-consciousness:

UK battles foot-and-mouth outbreak

Of course, it doesn't have a lot to do with Tom Hickey, aside of possibility that the price of steaks he will have to pay will be slightly higher for some time. And I do wish British farmers well, so let's leave them out of this post.

Let's take a look at the foot-in-mouth outbreak in the British academic circles. And I am not going to dissect the whole article, it is too full of malarkey and was already dissected by many a superior mind. So I shall concern myself with something simple that even I can enjoy:

We are accused of unfairly singling out Israel—the Jewish state—and hence of being anti-semites. We are asked why we do not propose a boycott of other states whose policies are barbaric and inhuman, such as China, Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Zimbabwe.

But whether a boycott is appropriate in such places depends on the merits of each individual case. In the case of Israel, we are speaking about a society whose dominant self image is one of a bastion of civilisation in a sea of medieval reaction. And we are speaking of a culture, both in Israel and in the long history of the Jewish diaspora, in which education and scholarship are held in high regard. That is why an academic boycott might have a desirable political effect in Israel, an effect that might not be expected elsewhere.

So - you see how it goes - simple and practical. The real big and bad ones, like China, Saudi Arabia, Iran, etc. - they are so big, so bad and so evil that there is no sense in even mentioning them. Let's leave them alone - after all, they do not threaten our delicate academic backsides right now.

Argh... What can one say about this perverted "logic"? Nothing, really. So here comes a picture of Mr Hickey from the shoulders up:

The only reason I have posted it is that in the next picture, the one that reflects his intellectual achievements, you will not be able to see his face.


But hey, the tie is in place!

P.S. To the nitpickers - dontcha love a mixed metaphor here and there?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

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The bureaucrats and the vultures

Meryl alerted me to the incredible ecological development in the EU domain. The story in a nutshell is told in three steps:

• An unnamed genius in the EU juggernaut hierarchy decided that the carcasses of the dead animals should not be left lazying around as vultures' wont. They (the carcasses) are incinerated now.
• Spanish vultures (well, you know about the Spanish temper - at least from Carmen) didn't like the new arrangements.
• So they have started hunting livestock and, as some claim, even humans.

The last claim could be exaggerated, some say (although why in the whole blue world three or four brawny and hungry vultures couldn't schlep away a medium-sized person is unclear).

As a result, of course, the farmers, already trained (unlike the vultures) in the ways of survival in the EU bureaucratic jungle, are clamoring for compensation. And you know what: I believe that instead of abolishing that stupid carcass burning regulation, EU will pay off the farmers. This way everyone but the vultures will be happy.

Still, the tree huggers will get into the fray at some stage. And being totally sympathetic with their war, I can offer a way to resolve the stand-off. I suggest that several well nourished and randomly chosen bureaucrats per week, tied up and placed in the relevant locations, will satisfy the vultures and allow EU to infuse new blood in the ranks of its apparatchiks on the regular basis.

I hope the vultures will be OK with the taste...

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HH XXX: sex, smut, sin!

After long years of longing and expectation, the purveyors of Eros have finally got what they so desired: a chick chock full edition of Haveil Havalim XXX*.

And Yehuda, being a pioneer in all kinds of HH, has bested himself, filling this edition with most juicy morsels one can hope for. Go there, and may the Force be with you.

(*) Since Yehuda has conveniently forgot to number the edition, and I couldn't be arsed to start looking up the previous ones, I have naturally assigned the XXX number to this one (you will see how fitting it is - I personally suspect that he has omitted the number on purpose - this HH is simply begging for XXX).

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So, did he learn anything after all?

Reading the Only Half a Country post by Maurice of One Jerusalem, I could not help noticing the same old, same old:

Further to a recent post dealing with the revelation that at lest 25% Israeli youth do not want, or are not able, to serve in the military, Defense Minister Ehud Barak, made a remark that the current attitudes of young Israelis towards their country’s military service is “nothing short of treason and should be treated as such”.

After a few years of political limbo (and economic prosperity), our general with a Rolex made a first step to the possible comeback recently, wrestling back the leadership of the Labor party. As it goes with politicians, many of us have probably already forgot the several months of beating his chest and crying "mea culpa" at any public occasion. Some of us asked then - has our Ehud really changed?

It seems that the answer is no - he still remains a general (with or without the wristwatch) and he still considers us, the citizens, to be mere conscripts that should be "treated as such".

He just doesn't know better...

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What now?

The Google, in its eternal vigilance, put in the spam folder an e-mail with the subject line starting this way:

Sex can be one of the most enjoyable parts of your

Unfortunately, somewhere in transit or in the cruel electronic talons of Google anti-spam machinery the rest of the subject line was erased, together with the body of the message itself.

Now I shall never know what is it that the sex is supposed to be one of the most enjoyable part of.

WHAT?

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To the citizens of Vampire State

A Russian writer, poet and philosopher Kozma Prutkov said:

If you have a fountain, shut it up. Let even a fountain have a rest.

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Rhain Davis The Whiz Kid

Hey, not all is lost yet for England - who could have thought it will happen?

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Amen to that

I would, I told him, be waiting to write a review of his prison diaries.

I am sure that some future cellmates have already had themselves some quality time with that picture and are eagerly anticipating...

May his pillow be sweet.

See also this at Olly's Onions.



to Will.

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Tomato vs Qassam?

It looks like a beginning of a new era in Israel - Hamas relationship. For years, the pro-Palestinian crowd was complaining, decrying and otherwise yakking about the lack of proportion in Israeli response to the unending bombardment of Israel by the "homemade" Qassams. No matter how deadly a few of the Qassams have proven to be and how much destruction and shock they sow in Sderot, kibbutz and moshav settlements around Gaza - the same slogan of "disproportional response" was pulled out at any retaliation by IDF.

So a few enterprising young men from Tel-Aviv that got tired by our government and our army sitting on their collective thumbs, have decided to launch (no pun intended) a new response to the Qassams that even the most demanding critics will not find "disproportional".


The group, led by Yigal Tzur and Yaron Ben-Nun arrived with a few friends to Sderot. After purchasing enough tomatoes and eggs, they have relocated to a parking spot that has a view of the Gaza strip and in a few minutes prepared their armory. And a massive bombardment of Gaza went ahead.

The group used a projectile-launcher built by Yahav Michaeli - a stunts and pyrotechnics expert - to lob organic eggs and vegetables towards Beit Hanoun.

"As a response to inactivity of our government, we have decided to take an action and to react", explained Zur, "We have arrived here to bombard Beit Hanun by eggs and tomatoes, because there is nothing more humiliating than this".

I am not sure who is humiliated more in this situation - the rocket scientists of Hamas or our government and IDF, but it is hard to find two more deserving parties. I only hope the new kind of war will make an impact somewhere. If in the process some egg will grace the faces of Ismail Haniyeh and/or Ehud Olmert - it will certainly be a bonus. In fact the first effect of the action was already detected:

IDF sources who heard of the missile launcher hurried worriedly to the launch site. They were greeted by group member Yigal Tzur, who told them, "we mean to shoot at Gaza." The officer responsible for the region informed him that shooting was prohibited in area and requested he stop. Upon being informed that the group was shooting eggs and vegetables, he allowed them to continue.

So - I wish the best of luck to the Tel-Aviv entrepreneurs. And the fair citizenry of Sderot could take heed and start doing something in this venue - not necessarily with eggs and tomatoes, though. Remember Davidka?

A few side remarks:

• I am breathlessly expecting a fury in some Arab media outfits regarding Aids-infected tomatoes and eggs being freely distributed by the cowardly Zionists.
• This post is about more than meets the eye, it will be interesting to see its readings by people with opposing views of the whole shebang.
• If anyone is interested in the technology of the tomato gun, I can send him/her the translation.
  

And to round up the post - another picture from a Maariv article (paper).


An update: Three Qassam rockets were fired into the western Negev. Two landed in Sderot, where one of them caused some damage to homes. The other landed in a kibbutz, and did not cause any damage.

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Alerting cat lovers

We, the cat lovers, should be eternally aware of any sign of trouble, especially within our own ranks. When one of us, even an (apparently) amateur cat lover, shows a lack of faith expressed by a statement like this:

Half of our mind knows that Pearl is an unconsciously sadistic little killer.

it is time for action. It is time to take this person in for a re-education. Part of the curriculum will be to explain to the person that we shouldn't attribute purely human behavior (let's make it "behaviour" in this case) motives to cats - they are predators by nature, and no amount of tree-hugging vegetarian brainwashing will change this. Of course, the other part of the training will be to ingrain the understanding of the fact that pigeons are just a subspecies of rodents, accidentally equipped by wings and should be exterminated at any opportunity. And if Pearl (PBUH) considers it to be her duty to reduce the population of these revolting creatures - more power to her.

Anyway, I am alerting some devoted cat lovers/servants to the situation. No need to become physical at this stage, I believe.

On my side, I am assigning our chief hunter to the case. She agreed to serve as chairperson of the forthcoming re-education program.

The Big One was also consulted, during his usual postprandial deep meditation session.


The presentation of the case I made to him was honored by two responses (which is way above average):

1. A rather nervous movement of the tail (approx. 3 cm) at my mention of the locale (UK) of the case - TBO has little patience for cold, wet and foggy places.
2. A slight twitch of the left hind leg at the end of presentation, meaning a general approval of the measures being taken.

Let's be hopeful. With sufficient attention to details and some minor brainwashing, the subject will see the light. Eventually.

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British Medical Jazz

This is the title of a post by Eve Garrard on Normblog.

Eve Garrard is concerned (with a good reason, too) about the poll to be conducted by the British Medical Journal on the boycott of Israeli academic institutions and its consequences.

But here comes an exclusive by ModernityBlog of ModernityBlog.

The question was:

“Should we consider a boycott of Israeli academic institutions?”

The result were:

Yes 7.4% 629
No 92.6% 7879

Out of a total of 8508 votes cast.

Oh well, let's wait for more news and read that post by ModernityBlog - there is more interesting stuff there.

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Minneapolis bridge collapses

My heartfelt condolences to the people of Minnesota. May this be the last disaster you know.

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Apropos nothing

Some of you may like the flower, some - the fly. Anyhow - click on it and enjoy.

Inspired by this.

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Russian FM tells visiting Abbas...

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov told Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas on Monday that Moscow supports him in his conflict with Hamas.

Russian officials raised the ire of Israel and Western nations last year when they held talks with Hamas leaders in Moscow.

Which raises (again) the ugly suspicion of Moscow being in the firm hold of Elders of Zion. And why is that? Simply because of a precedent to this strange behavior of Russian (?) rulers that was set at least 150 years ago in a small Jewish shtetl.

A married couple came to a rabbi to settle their marital problem(s). Of course, the wife starts:

"Dear rebe, this no good blah blah blah..." [you can substitute the contents by your own complaints - for fun]

"You know, what you are saying is very reasonable. You seem to be right", responds the rabbi. Then the husband enters the discussion:

"This woman blah blah blah..." [same here - substitution allowed]

"Hmm... There is a lot of truth in what you are saying", remarks the rabbi.

"But rebe, this man is blah blah blah...", interjects the woman.

"I hear you, dear, and your opinion seems to be correct", answers the rabbi.

"Yes, rebe, but blah blah blah...", demurs the man.

"You know, there is a lot to say for your position", replies our learned rabbi.

And the discussion continues in this vein for some time, until the (ever present) rabbi's wife, unable to take this malarkey anymore, intervenes:

"Moishe, dear, I cannot abide this, I am mightily confused by your strange judgment! How could both sides be right in this situation? "

After a brief contemplation, says the rabbi: "You know, my darling, you are absolutely right too!".

Aw, what the heck - after all, we all know that them Russians will sell their tanks, canons and jets to anyone who comes with a sufficient amount of money. So - isn't everyone right?

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Which barrel?

The front page of the JP edition of July 30 carried the following picture:

With the caption: Fayad at the Arab League conference.

No comments. Er.. OK, children, find Mr Fayad, please, anyway.

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