London mayor Livingstone in no rush to flush

At least that is what he says here.




















Is it my imagination or Red Ken is really getting a bit yellow around the edges?

(Via D.C. Thornton via TBFOC)

Burqa Vision glasses (advertisement)

Warning: a very long post.







































Only in selected stores! The promotion valid till the coming of the Hidden Imam (PBUH).

Hat tip: SV

Chavez forever?

Chavez Wants Vote on Governing Until '31, says the headline.











Another Fidel, this time anointed by the Holy Oil ($70 a barrel)?

The lie of victory

By Bradley Burston. Read it. Just a short quote:

Of all the lies, the lie of victory is surely the most insidious. It says to us - Israeli and Palestinian as one - that if we were to apply more firepower, endure more punishment, display more unity, take a harder line throughout - we will gain a final, permanent, satisfying victory over the other.

It is, like all of our lies, alluring. It is, in fact, the most alluring, perhaps because it is composed of all the others.

Yes.

Is Ben Shalom Bernanke what?

To all members of the Elders organization - extremely urgent.

Our Eye has detected an unauthorized transaction on the Internet. Via the Zionist search engine, to boot. The full contents of the transaction and its meaning are being researched right now, but the open part of the text is allowed here:

"is ben shalom bernanke gentile"

There are some details that indicate that this transaction could have been issued by a member of our organization.

Whether the text was sent by our colleague indeed or not, the impact of that inquiry could be horrendous, and whoever perpetrated that foul act should realize the consequences. Sowing doubt about the power of the Elders is the highest offence in our internal book of offences. It is definitely not punished by death!

In short: whoever did it, he or she should stand up and confess. The confession will not alleviate the punishment, but it may somewhat reduce the mandatory procedural steps leading to it.

A case of a well brought up Nazi

I was visiting Ami's blog ZioNation - Progressive Zionism and Israel Web Log for the latest posts. After reading a post about Benny Morris' contribution to debunking of the Walt and Mearsheimer opus, I have stumbled upon the following comment (click to enlarge):





I have kept an image of this just in case Ami decides to erase it.
If you are too lazy to click:

on Friday, May 5th, Adolph Hitler said

**** israel! You filthy kike pieces of **** all need to die! I hope Iran nukes the **** outn of you and you all die a slow, horrible death!

I wouldn't have reflected on this quote for more time than it takes to click that x in the right upper corner. But something made me to take a second look. What manner of a person will be so free with "you filthy kike" and hold back on 'fuck", "shit", etc.? I mean, besides calling himself Adolf Hitler?

Obviously, one whose mom was a fanatic of cleanliness, politeness and nice table manners. Washed his mouth with soap more than once for using foul language and, probably, was very fussy about his backside, too, if what the analysts still say is true, I wouldn't know. And whose dad was beating him up relentlessly for any real or imaginary transgression of "Das Disziplin". Especially on weekend evenings after a few brewskies. Poor guy, in short.

Oh, and another thing. That specific Adolph Hitler linked his moniker to the US Nazi movement site I wouldn't link from here on general principle. This is not worth any special attention. Aside of one remark: Guess who is featuring so prominently on the first page of the site? No other than our dear Robert Fisk with his "United States of Israel" puke-inducing article in Independent.

Tell me who your friends are, indeed.

Mulham Assir 3, or a spitting cobra out of spit

Mulham Assir is quite a busybody. Of course, his livelihood depends on his output counted in words, and this causes him to produce an endless stream of variations of the same subject. However, with time his imagination became exhausted, and in comparison with the two previous gems we have duly reported here and here, the quantity and, especially, quality of the poison in his spit is drastically reduced. I mean the latest article poetically titled "In the Beginning was Palestine". He peddled it to various media outlets sympathetic to his plight, so it is easy to find.

The main premise of this opus is simple and straightforward:

Palestine is our bleeding heart, the place where it all began. It is the open wound which, left untended, has made everything else possible.

We'll not go here into what is meant by "everything else", and the limited size of the article itself did not allow for a heart wrenching description of the extinction of dinosaurs, the Crucifixion, the crusades and everything else to be blamed on Jooz. Which is easy, seeing as how there isn't any proof to the contrary. So we better confess to everything. This will open a plethora of new venues, which might be good for a whole series of articles. Be grateful, Mulhie.

But all this falls into a shadow of total insignificance, since it looks that the spitting cobra has already found itself a god (or a God, it is up to the two of them).

"“The question of Palestine is the present and lasting concern of not only Muslims, but the entire humanity. Palestine is the meeting point of right and wrong."” This is not an Arab leader'’s statement. It is a quote from a recent speech given by Iran'’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the only world leader who has articulated the centrality of Palestine'’s tragedy in the American-led siege ("“crusade"” was George W Bush'’s actual word) against the Arab and Muslim world.

What can one say? Good for you, mate. Now you know both who is guilty and who is your mentor and your shining beacon of truth. Now the Janjaweeds in Sudan and bombers in Indonesia and killers in Kasmir and Taliban beheaders in Afghanistan and Sunni suicide bombers in Iraq have a common battle cry you have so touchingly repeated in that article:

It all began with Palestine.

They also have a fine figure of a man to use as addition to their various flags:












Wait, on this one Mahmoud looks too much like a clown. Try this one:














Yes, it's definitely better, but may cause complications to pregnant women. OK, you decide, after all you are a big boy now.

P.S. And we here would be happy to provide some hospitality to that poster from Madrid, you know whom we mean.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

The will of the people

Democracy is a fickle lady (for some reason the image of that French girl with the flag and whatnot comes to mind each time the D word is mentioned, thus the feminine link). Being applied in Levant it causes some unexpected results. Like in the case of Hamas - who in his right mind will link Hamas to democracy? But here we are...

Or, like in our own case, that stroke of fate that brought to Avigdor Lieberman a significant percentage of voters last election.











Lieberman spent a few years in the shadow of his patron, Bibi Netanyahu, being his torpedo man, enthusiastically carrying out any dirty job Bibi did not wish to be directly linked to. Being a good poodle, in short. A bit too feisty at times, but all for a good cause.

Now the little doggy has grown and developed into a sizable Rottweiler. Got an appetite for bigger chunks of meat, too. Somehow or other, he found his way to the votes of a significant percentage of the new immigrants and even of native-born Israelis.

And now we have that burden right were it hurts - in the Knesset. Engaging some choice characters in his inimitable Rottweiler's fashion.

Yisrael Beiteinu Chairman Avigdor Lieberman on Thursday lashed out at Israeli Arab political parties and said he hoped Arab MKs who had contact with Hamas or did not celebrate Independence Day would be executed. During a Knesset plenum debate, Lieberman said Arab MKs who meet with Hamas leaders "are cooperating with the enemy" and must be tried. "The Second World War ended with the Nuremberg trials and the execution of the Nazi leadership," said Lieberman...

Tough SOB, that Lieberman. Looks like without a leash and a muzzle he may become a serious threat to the environment. Maybe indeed, as Yaakov Katz from JP says, it is time to drop him (Lieberman, that is) on Iran to straighten out the mess there?

On the other hand, there may appear another way to solve the problem. MK Mohammed Barakeh, with his tradition of dalliances with our worst enemies and his anti-Semitic outbursts, is also a pain in the backside.











Speaking in the Knesset plenum, Barakeh also called for a renewal of the Nuremberg trials in order to "try neo-Nazis such as Lieberman."

Seeing as Lieberman-Barakeh mutual feelings are equally strong and there is a symbolic symmetry between the two, maybe the best solution would be to leave both in a strong room and throw out the key?

Tagging Andrew Ian Dodge

of Dodgeblogium. The subject is to devise a suitable punishment for a Danish prince (well, prince-consort to be precise), after the following article came up:

A Danish prince has upset animal rights campaigners by admitting he loves dogs - delicately sliced and lightly fried. Prince Henrik of Denmark told Ud & Se magazine: "“Dog meat tastes like rabbit. Like dried baby goat. Or perhaps - I know! - like veal. Like the veal of a baby suckling calf, only drier."” The 72-year-old Prince, the husband of Queen Margrethe, is the honorary president of the Danish Dachshund Club, reports the Times.














Here is the bloke for you - to slice and to dice. Myself being a cat lover, I do not feel qualified...

And all other dog lovers welcome to share their ideas.

Update: the proposal is already out there. Looks solid and well-designed. The only question is whether the quantity of meat required to cover the royal todger is sufficient to whet the canine appetite there in the woods. Hmm...

Atta girl!

Woman, 104, takes man, 33, as husband No. 21 says CNN. It takes some time to digest that flurry of numbers.

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) -- A 33-year-old man in northern Malaysia has married a 104-year-old woman, saying mutual respect and friendship had turned to love, a news report said Tuesday. It was Muhamad Noor Che Musa's first marriage and his wife's 21st, according to The Star newspaper, which cited a report in the Malay-language Harian Metro tabloid. Muhamad, an ex-army serviceman, said he found peace and a sense of belonging after meeting Wook Kundor, whom he said he initially sympathized with because she was childless, old and alone, the report said.

And the ominous remark:

The report did not say if any of Wook's previous 20 husbands are still alive.

As some wit remarked here:

When speaking with her doctor about her pending marriage, the doctor expressed some serious concern about the stress of the upcoming honeymoon and the rigors of sexual relations.

She listened intently then replied without hesitation, "Thank you so much for your concern in this matter, doctor, but if he dies, he dies."

BBC - calling a spade a spade?

I will be not going over the top saying that, like many others who spent their youth behind the Iron Curtain during the worst years of the cold war, I am used to think of BBC as a beacon of sanity and moderation.

During that time, when Voice of America and the various Soviet media outlets were competing in hailing their own "biggest in the world" (what is aptly called in US "dick wavin'"), be it a biggest missile or a biggest turkey, BBC tried (and succeeded) to provide a balanced and informed commentary. Not that there weren't occasional foul-ups. There were some, but in general BBC has done a sterling job.

These days BBC is being the focus of a well-orchestrated campaign of complaints by both pro-Israeli and pro-Palestinian sides of the conflict. And the endless stream of complaints has caused BBC to become a subject to an independent panel. Which panel was commissioned by the BBC Governors to "assess the impartiality of BBC news and current afairs coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with particular regard to accuracy, fairness, context, balance and bias."

Not that I have expected much of that panel. Where it comes to the know-how of sweeping under the rug, Brits could teach the rest of the world without changing their stride. Again, not that I, personally, have had any serious problems with the said coverage (see why later).

But the panel report succeeded to surprise me at least once. See item 3 in the list of proposed remedies:

3. We say that the BBC should get the language right. We think they should call terrorist acts
"terrorism" because that term is clear and well understood. Equally, on this and other sensitive points of language, once they have decided the best answer they should ensure it is adopted consistently;

Does it mean that BBC will start calling a spade a spade? I am not at all sure, the recommendations of the panel are not automatically enforced, as far as I understand. In any case, it will be interesting.

Now about my coolness towards BBC coverage. The explanation is easily found in the panel report:

1.4 Audience research from Opinion Leader Research, commissioned by the Panel, shows that
the impartiality requirements are widely supported. It also suggests that, beyond those who
take a keen interest in the conflict from either perspective, the generality of viewers and
listeners are less than convinced by its importance to them, feel ignorant about it and have little sympathy with the protagonists. They want the BBC to be impartial and believe that it is.

See now? BBC is catering to a market that could care less about the subject. In fact, the "quality control" of the I/P conflict coverage by BBC is done by two comparatively small and opposed groups of BBC "clients". Unlike the quality control of BBC coverage of, say, UK football... Whoever expects flawless coverage of the said conflict under these conditions, is going to keep waiting for a while. So chill out, folks.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Every so Often an Elder fucks up !

It's a balmy and sunny Independence day here, on unspecified location in Israel. SWMBO decided that there will not be a barbeque today, and I am let loose. So what do I do on that beautiful morning? Do I relax in the garden with a view of the birdies and stuff? Do I stupidly gaze at the infinity, having only one worry in the world - how not to spill that doze of the heavenly liquid made on a specific location by the wise men of Tain?

No - I have had a rude wake-up call today. A friend of ours sent me an e-mail alerting the Elders about a serious snafu in our outfit. And it is back to the yoke for me, seeing as the other Hasbara members are goofing off lately.

And it is not a simple mission this time. Rather a delicate case of writing up a fellow Elder that, how to say it mildly, gone sour. Just a tad off his noggin. Meshuggene, if you will. And a very nice fellow to boot:










Rabbi Tony Bayfield is head of the Movement for Reform Judaism. Does an excellent job of work too, trying to get together people of different faiths, to develop a dialog, a better understanding. He is worried about the growing anti-Semitism in the Muslim world, about the way the most wacko conspiracy theories are taking root there. You just cannot not like the man and the deeds.

And then the man goes and writes an article for no other than the "comment is free". Full of good intentions, too, do not dare to doubt it for a moment! And here it comes:

Then, one of my closest and most trusted Christian friends confronted me with something extraordinarily painful.

He opened up the issue of the neo-cons in the United States, those who have supported the Bush administration in its foreign policy, and how many of them are Jews. I became defensive and then hostile, pointing out that only some were Jewish, that the Southern Baptists backed Bush but that did not mean that all Christians backed Bush, and that the idea that the Bush administration was either a front for a neo-con conspiracy or had bought someone else's philosophy wholesale had all kinds of overtones that made me shudder. My friend understood but sent me material about the Project for the New American Century established in the Spring of 1997.

Wow, that's a real smasher for a peace-loving individual! Such a piece of news, and so fresh - right out of the oven (1997)! Yes, dear Tony, them PNAC people indulged quite a lot in that Dr. Strangelove masturbatory business. On paper, mind you. Yes, there are quite a lot of Jooz on the list of signatories. All in the open, mind you, but don't let it bother you mind.

But then Tony feels punched in the face by another smasher:

In a letter to President Bush: "We want to commend you for your strong stance in support of the Israeli government as it engages in the present campaign to fight terrorism. As a liberal democracy under repeated attack by murderers who target civilians, Israel now needs and deserves steadfast support."

Both documents had many Jewish signatories.

This one has really smitten our Tony. He is down on the floor, and the only way for him to get out of that knockout situation is to throw out the towel. In his own inimitable way:

Is it possible that, in our desperate desire to protect Israel, some of us have backed a problematic horse? Could it conceivably be that in our terror of Muslim extremism, we have unwittingly made it hard for ordinary western Muslims to love us?

Yeah. OK, Tony, now to business. Your Elder license is revoked. You must get back in touch with your senses. When you realize that your so called "most trusted Christian friend" is a mental fuck-up, and that all you have done about it so far is to fall into the trap of that Jewish guilt so deeply that you have, probably, to apologize to your most trusted Christian and Muslim friends for the mere fact of your existence every single day - then we'll talk about rescinding the punishment.

And re that other, rather pitiful wail of yours:

And how on earth do you build relationships of love when there are huge expanses of this country, never mind the world, where there isn't even a single scared and prickly Jew to love?

There is a definitive answer in that Book you are supposed to teach your people from: "pru u rvu", or, as you know, "be fruitful and multiply". In simple words: get laid. You may pass this suggestion to your flock more frequently.

And re the "scared and prickly Jew" - ... nah, we'll leave it on your consciousness. Just - be scared only of one thing - the long arm of the Elders. And get well quick.

Hat tip to RG (yes, and for that headline too!)

Update: I have just stumbled on this Swedish Meatball post by Norm. It links to an article about an amazing case of a Swedish meatball-for-brain Chancellor of Justice, Goran Lambertz. I can easily see the link from the "Could it conceivably be that in our terror of Muslim extremism, we have unwittingly made it hard for ordinary western Muslims to love us? " to the decision by the meatball-for-brain. Can't you?

Good riddance of bad Sami

Suzanne Goldenberg dedicated an article to the results of the plea bargaining between Sami Al-Arian and the prosecution. After reading this article, one is left with a sense that something very serious went wrong in this case, that a miscarriage of justice causes much suffering to an innocent person.

A Florida judge told a Palestinian computer engineer yesterday that he must spend another 18 months in prison before being deported, in a case that had been seen as a key test for sweeping anti-terror legislation brought in after September 11.

"Palestinian computer engineer" is a vital detail here. The mere mention of the defendant's profession already makes you feel more charitable toward the poor guy. Probably should be expected in any criminal case from now on. "A paleontologist, expert in prehistoric insects, allegedly accused of triple murder...". Sounds good, doesn't it?

On the other hand, the same passage makes one immediately feel bad about that sweeping anti-terror legislation (as if we don't feel bad enough about it as it is now). Two birds with one stone, so to say.

Now look at another passage:

Arian became the target of an FBI investigation as one of the founders of a campus thinktank and a charity formed in the 1980s to support a Palestinian state.

Another point to add to the image of an innocent wronged by the Big Brother. Clearly FBI does not have anything better to do than persecute a think tank egghead, whose only interests in life are science and some charity on the side.

That's saying nothing before you read the site by hypocritical supporters of Mr. Al-Arian here. A purer lamb was not born yet in the whole blue world, they will tell you.

Oh well, there is a different view of the case, presented here without histrionics - only the documents and dry unemotional information. Including the plea agreement signed by the learned professor. This is what a part of it looks like (click to enlarge):









And this is only a small part of a pretty damning document signed by the convict. To remind you, it is a plea bargaining document whereby the accused agrees only to a part of his misdeeds.

Back to Ms. Goldenberg:

In the past, Arian, a Kuwaiti-born Palestinian who has lived in the US for nearly 30 years, has said he was singled out for prosecution because of his support for Palestinian rights. He denies advocating violence.

Yes, he never pulled the trigger himself, he only financed the guns and the bullets and brainwashed the poor deluded and stupid teenagers in Gaza and West Bank to do it. And the only sensible quote in the article is that of the judge:

...the judge said yesterday: "Your only connection to widows and orphans was that you create them."

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Facing Mecca?

J of Justify This opened my eyes on a grave theological problem that may cause a big engineering issue in UK jails as soon as this post is published.

It appears that the direction of the toilet seats in a British nick was causing problems to some Muslim inmates.

The Islamic religion prohibits Muslims from facing or turning their backs on the Kiblah (the direction of prayer)— when they visit the lav. Muslim lags claimed they have had to sit sideways on prison WCs. But after pressure from faith leaders the Home Office has agreed to turn the existing toilets 90 degrees at HMP Brixton in London.

That knee-jerk decision of the Home Office is going to really stir the hornet's nest. Somebody needs to update the decision makers there that there is a sect of Jews (I am one of them) that just has to be seated with their backs to the East. Lack of the appropriate seating arrangement shall definitely cause constipation, depression and a possibility of multiple homicide inside the prison walls.

A revolving platform for each toilet is the only conceivable and acceptable solution, and I do not believe that the country that succeeded to get a rover to Mars (well, kind of) will have too much trouble engineering and implementing it.

And the sooner the better.

See how simple it really is?

AP is going through excruciating period of re-definition of some vitally important terms. Look at this article, for instance. While the headline says "Police: Suspected Rebels Kill 22 Hindus", the first sentence in the article uses another term:

Suspected Islamic militants raided a village and killed 22 Hindus after lining them up outside their homes in India's portion of the disputed territory of Kashmir, police said Monday.

So what it will be: "suspected militants" or "suspected rebels"? We'd like to help AP using our local vocabulary. Usually any terrorist killed by IDF is designated as "citizen" by some media outlets. No matter whether it is an innocent bystander, a Molotov cocktail thrower or an armed to his teeth Jihad Islami martyr-to-be.

The problem is that the term "citizen" is reserved solely for the Israeli-Palestine conflict, and we are prevented from recommending it. Let's look at the material provided by the dictionaries.

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary offers the following assistance for "militant":

1 : engaged in warfare or combat : FIGHTING
2 : aggressively active (as in a cause) : COMBATIVE <militant conservationists> <a militant attitude>

Both of the above definitions are hardly helpful. After all they carry a suggestion of possible violence, and the good folks of AP would like to avoid this, wouldn't they? But wait, there seems to be a way out:

synonym see AGGRESSIVE

Obviously "aggressive" by itself is not a good replacement for "militant". There still is some lingering taste of violence that may be interpreted wrongly in some quarters. So we went to the definition of "aggressive" and found a gold mine! There are two useful synonyms:

1. ENTERPRISING
2. ASSERTIVE

We think that now all AP problems are resolved. All it should take is a short inter-office memo, and the brave new world is here. No more militants, rebels, terrorists (god forbid!) - only assertive and/or enterprising good people.

As if this is not enough, there is a third and even a fourth option: it is offered by my faithful WordWeb dictionary on this here laptop, thus I cannot link to it. It fished out another two excellent replacements to "militant":

3. ACTIVIST
4. COMPETITIVE

See, dear AP friends: the world is yours just for asking. Be well and prosper.

P.S. Re the 22 dead Hindu fellows: "kill 22 Hindus" should read "allegedly kill 22 Hindus". One cannot be too careful these days. After all, the said fellows may have died suddenly and simultaneously of bird flu, who knows?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com