08 May 2011

A mental exercise for you

Input data:

4 helicopters landed in Beirut suburb under the cover of darkness. A team of Israeli soldiers from the "Sayeret matkal" emerged. They've penetrated a very well guarded building, and after 40 minutes of firefight left with the corpse of Hassan Nasrallah. After DNA testing the corpse was positively identified on board and then, "in full accordance with Islamic tradition", thrown into the Mediterranean Sea. Together with Nasrallah another three men were killed, as well as his 148th wife that tried to protect him with her body.

Bibi, Barak and Sarah watched the scene broadcasted on TV screens from combat helmet cameras worn by the commandos.

Late in the evening Bibi appeared on all channels and announced another victory of world democracy over terrorism.

Your home assignment:

Describe the response of the world community.

07 May 2011

Paul Lung - doing the unbelievable

How do you like this photograph?


Well, it's not a photograph. Details.

06 May 2011

The Council Has Spoken

Here are this week’s full results:

Council Winners

Non-Council Winners

Simply Che

This is the fourth picture from the archives, and it seems to be the appropriate moment for its posting.

Besides being timely, it raises a question: should the whole issue of 72 virgins be reviewed once more?

05 May 2011

Zawahiri betrayed Osama bin Laden: Saudi paper

Well, well, what do you know?

Al-Qaida chief Osama bin Laden was betrayed by his deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri who led US forces to his hideout as the two were involved in an intense power struggle, a Saudi newspaper has reported.


Ayman al-Zawahiri? The bloke that stops RPG rockets with his barenaked forehead? The one who eats infidel's hearts for breakfast? Nah... but read the rest of the story yourself.

Beg pardon, dear imam or dogs win another day

I am not sure I can agree with this part of the parable the imam is telling to his flock in the Al Aqsa Mosque:

As for calling the ex-terrorist and ex-Sheik "lion": I would choose something more down to earth for him, you know - something like... er... snake? Lizard? But in any case, dead lions, exactly as any other dead creature created by Allah, become a lump of dead meat. Not even very good for a BBQ, as I keep hearing.

As for other details of this flowery and fiery speech - up yours, dear Imam. You are on candid camera, and in Shin Bet archives, too.

Smile, ijit!

Update: the story has more to do with dogs, it appears.

Hat tip: Blazing Cat Fur.

Al-Aqsa Martyrs: we didn't mean "peace", it was "piss"

Well, or something close to it, as the tale develops:

Yesterday Palestinian Media Watch exposed that the Palestinian news agency Ma'an misled its English-language readers by changing a statement of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigades. The actual statement promoted violence by Islamic forces in order to achieve Islamic dominance:

The Islamic nation "is capable of supplying an abundance of new blood... [for] restoring the glory of Islam and the flag of Allah's oneness."
[Ma'an Arabic, May 3, 2011]

Ma'an's English version deleted the call for Islamic domination and replaced it with a call for "peace" that did not exist in the original:

"We tell the Israeli and the American occupiers that we have leaders who have changed history with their Jihad and their steadfastness. We are ready to sacrifice our lives to bring back peace."
[Ma'an English, May 3, 2011]
And this is the way it goes...

Say NO to inflation

And this is one of the ways:

NYC Youngster Buys Loaded Semi-Automatic Handgun At School For $3

Of course, a greedy capitalist would demand hundreds of hard earned $$ for a gun. But this kid said his resounding "NO"...

04 May 2011

A few assorted Bin Laden wisecracks

Of course, not everyone rejoiced hearing about OBL demise. Hamas, for instance, didn't:

Gaza government condemns US slaying of 'Arab holy warrior', asks 'God to offer him mercy with true believers, martyrs'.
It looks like the heartbreak of separation is too much for Hamas top dog, Ismail Haniyeh. Shouldn't someone take care of unification of these two?

A curious text that I would rather leave on the editor's conscience:
Dozens of Arab residents hold rally in support of assassinated al-Qaeda leader in east Jerusalem's Silwan neighborhood...
The word "support" there caused me a double-take. After all, Bin Laden is already beyond support in this world, so could it be that these "Dozens of Arab residents" are eager to support him in his frolics with the 72 virgins?

Speaking of virgins: in his case, due to the rather watery choice of location for his burial, I guess the virgins will be of mermaid persuasion. Osama will have to work on his amorous techniques, adjusting them to the underwater conditions. But no worries, help is coming.

And some related news:
The Arizona Court of Appeals ruled Friday that Cindy Vong can sue over the Arizona Board of Cosmetology's threat to pull her license if she didn't stop offering the pedicure, which uses fish to eat dead skin off clients' feet. The board alleged the fish were unsafe because they couldn't be sterilized.
The emphasis is mine. I wasn't aware of the fact that the cleansing fishes so popular lately in the cosmetic shops are not sterilized. It looks like Bin Laden, willingly or not, will have to submit to some, seemingly unapproved, pedicure methods. I hope he likes it.

Or else...

03 May 2011

Roger Cohen: a man who rarely misses an opportunity to miss a point

A person is rarely a master of his associative thinking. At least I am not in control of my own wild and willful one.


Why is that each time I see the picture of Roger Cohen, the venerable columnist of the New York Times, I am always thinking about this image*:

After some soul searching, I think that I may have traced an answer: just like the illustrious garden gnome, Roger Cohen pops up all over the globe. With one difference, though: unlike our gnome, Mr Cohen doesn't just observe the locals and quietly move to another location. He analyses the surrounding reality and doesn't hide his opinions and his predictions - both are published and distributed using one of the more formidable platforms of free and unfettered progressive journalism. The problem is that, again unlike the gnome (who is always choosing silence and has never been wrong yet), Mr Cohen is too frequently and too publicly missing the point.

Wherever there is turmoil, wherever the world waits for the outcome of the struggle, you can be assured that Mr Cohen will appear, report, rejoice, analyze and at the end come out with a succinct article (or five) that will glorify the strife, hail its progress and come to a totally wrong conclusion. Turkey (Islam is the youngest of the world's major religions. Its accommodation to modernity is a virulent [sic!] work in progress.)... Iran ("flawed but vibrant democracy")... Egypt ("Islamic parties can run thriving economies and democracies like Turkey’s" - brilliant, seeing the slow but sure descent of Turkey into Islamism and watching the almost assured ascension of Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt)... these are only the relatively recent** examples of the man's willful blindness. The problem is that blindness, when it gets an exposure and support like Cohen's does, stops being his private business and becomes an ongoing deceit of the readers.

Recently Roger Cohen provided another proof of his consistent blindness in his missive titled The Goldstone Chronicles. In this one he doesn't hide his displeasure by Goldstone's timid attempt to recover some of his tarnished image by retreating from a libelous charge of deliberate/intentional killing of civilians during Cast Lead operation. Cohen's tone is amazing. Even knowing that his references to his own Jewish roots usually serve as a prelude to another anti-Israeli rant, his unhappiness with demise of this libel is mind boggling. For a single moment Cohen doesn't allow that Goldstone may have spoken the truth as he sees it. The following quote is a typical part of the whole:
In short there is a mystery here. Goldstone has moved but the evidence has not, really. That raises the issue of whether the jurist buckled under pressure so unrelenting it almost got him barred from his grandson’s bar mitzvah in South Africa. Is this more a matter of judicial cojones than coherence?
Of course, calling Golstone partial about-face "a mystery" is easier than to change one's mind. And Mr Cohen's mind on Israel was set a long time ago and quite firmly. Of course, there is no need to rehash the fact that there never was any evidence of intentional targeting of civilians to start with. Of course, it would be typical of Mr Cohen to state (ostensibly as a hypothesis, apparently under advise of NYT legal dept) that Goldstone buckled under pressure and to mention the famous bar mitzvah, only to add later "I don’t know. I asked Goldstone."

As for judicial cojones: I have to give it to Mr Cohen: his own cojones must be huge. A man that makes all the wrong points so tirelessly, so consistently, for so long and so publicly must carry the said cojones in a wheelbarrow, to be sure.

And, to finish this post: I intended to make up a fake title or a fake quote from a future imaginary article Mr Cohen will write on Bin Laden demise. No need, the real article with a real quote is thoughtfully provided:
Osama Bin Laden is dead — and so is an old Middle East. That they died together is fortuitous and apt. Bin Laden lived to propel history backward to the reestablishment of a Muslim caliphate. He died a marginal figure to the transformation fast-forwarding the Arab world toward pluralism and self-expression.
What can I say?

FFS...

(*) The image is of a garden gnome, of course, from the superb French movie Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain (Amélie outside of France, I believe) with the delicious Audrey Tautou. If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading this post, for crying out loud, and go rent it!

(**) Many more by Soccer Dad here.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

US, Israel, Baghdad deny report of IAF jets in Iraq. So what?

The JP article US, Israel, Baghdad deny report of IAF jets in Iraq is, as usual, a typical Zionist obfuscation of truth. Here is a photo (from Elders' HQ and by a special permission, of course) that will tell you all:

You can easily distinguish IAF (Israel Air Force) pilots, dressed in seemingly innocuous garb, keeping a line for the food counters in an American air force base in Iraq. Not only was this garb designed to confuse any observer, it also drastically reduces the jet's visibility to radar.

So there.

02 May 2011

Navy SEALs: 1, Osama Bin Laden: 0

Good job. Next - Bin Laden's goat second in command, I hope:


And now from Bradley Burston:

God bless this country America. God bless this country which, because it is made of humans, often has trouble figuring out what to do, how to fight the good fight. God bless this country which, in the end, does the right thing. God bless this country for which the world has no substitute.
Yep.

Osama Bin Laden's burial at sea: first picture!

Yeah. Remember where you have seen it first, please. So here:


The image (or a part of it, to be precise) lifted from Samm Bennett.

01 May 2011

Tayassuidae for peace

When you ask any person in the Middle East whether she/he is for peace, don't expect a negative answer. What the person really thinks about the matter is another issue, because in general, when considering the possibility of peace, many, if not most, think about swine. The flying swine and probability thereof, I mean.

I cannot say I have witnessed an advent of a flying pig, although I have been almost hit once by a flying pork chop. However, an advent of kosher pigs - peccary - family arriving to the Biblical Zoo in Jerusalem could be a first small step in the right direction.

I don't see how having a kosher pig could be much easier than having a flying one. So, it could very well be that the so long desired peace is nigh.

Details by Lou Wigdor in his post This Is Not a Peccary?...

30 April 2011

Misunderstanding a headline

BBC today:

No. Not yet. Unfortunately...