The Fires of Hell Are Real and Eternal, Pope Warns

"What's lying in store for the relationship between Jews and Catholics?" is the thorny question I find myself asking more and more often these days. The Pope, the one currently in office, truly seems to be keen on curtailing the significant accomplishments of his predecessor, John Paul II, and Vatican II in principle.

I first became rather apprehensive about and even fearful of the man after reading these lines:

He gave a long address at the site of the former concentration camp and failed to mention anti-semitism, and offered no apology - whether on behalf of his own country, Germany, or on behalf of the Catholic Church. He acknowledged he was a "son of the German people" ... "but not guilty on that account"; he then launched into a highly controversial claim that a "ring of criminals" were responsible for nazism and that the German people were as much their victims as anyone else. This is an argument that has long been discredited in Germany as utterly inadequate in explaining how millions supported the Nazis. Given his own involvement in the Hitler Youth movement as a boy, and his refusal to make a clean breast of the Vatican's acquiescence in the horrors of Nazism by opening its archives to historians, this was a shabby moment in Catholic history. Not for this pope those dramatic, epoch-defining gestures that made the last Pope such a significant global figure.

Even worse, in his Auschwitz address, he managed to argue in a long theological exposition that the real victims of the Holocaust were God and Christianity. As one commentator put it, he managed to claim that Jews were the "themselves bit players - bystanders at their own extermination. The true victim was a metaphysical one." This theological treatise bears the same characteristics as last week's Regensburg lecture; put at its most charitable, they are too clever by half. More plainly speaking, they indicate a deep arrogance rooted in a blinkered Catholic triumphalism which is utterly out of place in the 21st century.

Now the Pope has reminded the world of the looming danger of being sent to Hell.

Hell is a place where sinners really do burn in an everlasting fire, and not just a religious symbol designed to galvanise the faithful, the Pope has said.

I have to acknowledge that whenever religious leaders, especially of such impressive station, start speaking bombastically about Hell, I am instantly overcome with a feeling of nausea. I can't explain my sentiments using hard-nosed logic, but I am under the impression that lectures of this sort create nothing but rifts between people. As a Jew living in a Christian country, I fear that I will find myself, sooner or later, on the receiving end of hatred, triumphalism and a frenzy of proselytizing that often follow from such pontificating.

God had given men and women free will to choose whether “spontaneously to accept salvation . . . the Christian faith is not imposed on anyone, it is a gift, an offer to mankind”.

Judging from the above quote, those who do not accept Christianity, Jews for example, are heading for Hell. I, of course, don't really buy for a moment this claptrap, but I am, nevertheless, deeply nervous about the reaction these proclamations might elicit from the faithful. And I am also wondering what the Pope is really up to... At this point, I only sense that he is intent on resurrecting Christianity, which is not a worrying development per se, but I am curious as to what it means for us Jews.

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Anti-Semitism at MSU

Meryl has recently reported on the disturbing, but expected, resurrection (or, to be more precise, intensification) of anti-Semitism taking place at MSU, the most prestigious university in Russia, right before our eyes. Quite frankly, I yawned loudly after flipping through the story published by the NYT, as MSU has always been the unassailable bastion and the proud flagship of anti-Semitism in Russia. The story, therefore, has no real shock value to someone even casually acquainted with the situation on the ground in this country. The happenings are essentially rather run-of-the-mill part of the broader pattern of behavior typical of MSU.

As usual, the fundamental reasons for this notoriously phenomenal anti-Semitism are both abundant and complex, but, in my view, it all boggles down to the following: MSU has always been scared stiff of Jews and wanted desperately to protect itself from our “offensive”. While the general population was, for the most part, getting drunk on cheap vodka (probably prevented from doing anything else by the elite Elders’ brigade), Jews were receiving higher education en masse and then venturing into science as well as other highly demanding professions. MSU was obviously designated as an institution for Russians mainly, considering that in any other case it would have swiftly become a university teeming with Jews. (Yeah, I am gloating.) Needless to say, few among the ruling classes wanted to provide Jews with such a head start in life.

The bottom line is as follows: If Jews constituted, for example, 2% of the population, then they could not, as the informal (or formal?) policy read, make up more than 2% of students at MSU. By way of illustration, my mother was not admitted to this university, despite the fact that she had passed all the exams brilliantly, because there already were too many Jews at the faculty she intended to enter. Determined to fight on, she appealed, but it goes without saying that her case was dismissed straight out of hand. According to her, the people who were afforded the pleasure of informing her about her lack of success in the endeavor had to struggle to repress their cheerful smiles – after all, a Jewish girl had just been cut down to size. (Hooray!)

Those yids who did make it to MSU against all odds were persecuted mercilessly and ruthlessly – Sergey Brin et al. can definitely attest to the fact.

I am not even talking about the sheer hell Jewish professors had to go through – this narration would undoubtedly be almost physically painful.

All told, the persecution in question boasted considerable magnitude and occasionally assumed almost unbelievably perverted forms. Sometimes it was escalated, sometimes lessened out of the blue, depending on the environment in the country and a myriad of other factors (such as the mood of the bigwigs).

Anti-Semites have always received a hearty welcome at MSU, and a great number of professors, to this day, are infected with the virus - the goings-on at the Faculty of Sociology are a towering testament to this sorry state of affairs.

A lot of time has, thankfully, passed since those “dark ages”, and much has changed. I am a student at MSU and have rarely, if ever, experienced any discomfort because of my nationality (if truth be told, I am trying my best to keep it secret). I have repeatedly been assured, however, that the situation in the Humanities (Sociology, Philosophy, History and all the other faculties of this variety) is, sadly, vastly different and not so inspiring.

The only occasion when my hair was made to stand on end was when I was submitting my documents prior to the exams. I had to fill out a disgusting application form, which, among other things, demanded that I state my nationality. To add to the shock I understandably felt at that moment, I had to state whether I was an Ashkenazi or Sephardic Jew. Someone had been busy carrying out quite a bit of research, eh? (To be honest, I assumed, after the telling incident, that I had better apply to some other university if I wanted to actually receive higher education.)

Oh, and I was also once called an "AshkeNAZI" by one astute fellow student of mine, and a son of one professor to boot.

Moving on to the story brought to light by the NYT, the students have been protesting the corruption that undeniably permeates the Faculty of Sociology for a while already. As a matter of fact, they have even been arrested once for their demonstrations and insubordination. What is immensely encouraging and uplifting about this story is that most protesters, fed up with the bald-faced lies passed as the absolute truth as well as a few other liberties the faculty allows itself, were, in the main, Russians, not Jews.

The Russian media, unsurprisingly, is mute, distant and indifferent as far as this whole affair is concerned. The two articles I have managed to dig up can be accessed here and here by those who are proficient in the Russian language.

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So how dangerous is Indy?

This is, of course, in reference to the inane headline So how dangerous is skunk? by Indy.

You would think that this dubious rag that for years propagated its own version of truth regarding cannabis (among other similar "truths") will recognize its guilt and its complicity in the suffering of thousands of deluded youngsters and just quietly shut up. But what really tickles Indy's fancy?

Our decision to drop The Independent on Sunday's 1997 decriminalise cannabis campaign has been applauded and decried throughout the world. At the heart of the controversy is the link between skunk and schizophrenia.

If you can see any sign of repentance in the above quote, please let me know. I shall visit my optician shortly. Meanwhile, there are all the necessary symptoms of unrepentant "in your face" idiocy in this quote, since the danger of skunk were widely known way before and are not restricted to schizophrenia alone.

Think about this:

Cannabis remains the most commonly-used drug in the UK with one in 10 people using it in the last year, according to the British Crime Survey.

How many of these (roughly) 7 million deluded dorks were influenced by the raving of Indy?

Imagine the stink Indy would have raised were cannabis marketed and advertised by a private company (well, the drug cartels, growers and dealers are somewhat private, but at least they have the decency not to advertise via the usual channels). In fact, the above mentioned supply chain owns Indy a great deal of appreciation, if not a hefty commission.

And to add insult to injury:

Tobacco and alcohol 'are more dangerous than LSD'

Alcohol and tobacco are more harmful than many illegal drugs including the hallucinogen LSD and the dance drug ecstasy, according to a new scale for assessing the dangers posed by recreational substances.

Please reassure me that this is not an attempt to start a new campaign in the name of social progress on the general lines of "a good trip is better than a bad hangover". Please?

I hope some crafty lawyer is already drawing the lawsuit that will ruin this cesspool of a newspaper. In the name of all the people who were blindly led into the abyss by the relentless and self-assured idiocy.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

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Lost in translation?

Iran: If U.S. starts war with us, it won't be the one that finishes

A senior Iranian military official warned the United States against launching any attack on the Islamic Republic, a news agency reported on Monday, two days after the United Nations imposed new sanctions on Iran.

"If America starts a war against Iran, it won't be the one who finishes it," Morteza Saffari, naval forces commander of the elite Revolutionary Guards, was quoted as saying by the ISNA news agency.

Something is definitely lost in translation here. If anyone cares to decipher the text - go ahead.

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New Ehud, new Bibi

That's, of course, our new Ehud, reinventing himself by holding his poor innocent grandson for the whole duration of a meeting with his supporters.

Former prime minister Ehud Barak, a leading candidate for the leadership of the Labor Party, addressed supporters Sunday, presenting himself as the candidate to contend against Likud Chairman Benjamin Netanyahu as the next prime minister of Israel.

"We will return to lead the country, and not in the too distance future," he told a crowd of 1,500 supporters at Kibbutz Yakum in his first public address in months.

"Without us there will be a terrible vacuum that will threaten the Israeli democracy, and without us it will be Bibi and the Likud as the political defaults," he said, referring to Netanyahu by his nickname.

Of course, Bibi is mirroring this speech with his own supporters elsewhere. And you know what - both of them are right in this amazing case!

Why don't they just slug it out one evening behind a pub and leave us alone?

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Hmm...

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Blonds 'no good' in Mideast talks

Says Japanese FM:

Blond, blue-eyed Westerners probably can't be as successful at Middle East diplomacy as Japanese with their "yellow faces," Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso was quoted by media as saying on Wednesday.

"Japan is doing what Americans can't do," the Nikkei business daily quoted the gaffe-prone Aso as saying in a speech.

"Japanese are trusted. If (you have) blue eyes and blond hair, it's probably no good," he said.

"Luckily, we Japanese have yellow faces."

Whatever it takes to reach true peace, dear Mr. Aso. We can live without blonds for a while, if required.

Another thing: besides being less trustworthy, blonds could be awfully distracting

from the peace effort, I mean.

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Want some calamari?

The person in the picture above is Captain John Bennett, a lucky sailor who caught himself some squid (partly in the picture as well). This puppy weighs 495 kilograms, making it the largest ever caught.

But it won't get any bigger because it's already dead cold. And scientists can't figure out how to defrost it. Squid expert Steve O'Shea, who will be studying the creature, said it was weighed last week while it was still frozen in a large container.

At this stage our squid expert said (probably in the throes of scientific excitement) something that was totally unexpected:

Dr O'Shea said the colossal squid was priceless to scientists, and would be worth many millions of dollars if it were insured.

I am not sure that it is an accepted practice amongst the squid community to apply for insurance. On the other hand, with inventiveness and eagerness of some insurance companies, it may be not totally out of question.

After all, Captain Bennet was not so lucky. The boffins got wind of the catch, and promptly sequestered the beast for their own nefarious ends.

The squid is being housed in the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa in Wellington. Meanwhile, the scientists have yet to decide how best to thaw out the animal, which was frozen into a container soon after it was captured.

I would say, piece by piece, according to the size of a party they want to throw at any specific evening. One can only envy the eggheads: half a ton of prime squid will keep their parties going for a good few years.

Mmm...

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England 0 : Israel 0

Twenty two physically and mentally challenged individuals who should be much better off painting license plates in an institution that doubtlessly exists somewhere for cases like these, with round the clock supervision of watchful and caring staff members and regular hours, which proposal is much too generous, since these license plates would have to be recycled immediately anyway...

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Iran seizes 15 British sailors in Persian Gulf

Iranian naval vessels seized 15 British sailors and marines Friday in Iraqi waters, the UK's Ministry of Defense said. The British personnel from the frigate HMS Cornwall were "engaged in routine boarding operations of merchant shipping in Iraqi territorial waters," and had completed their inspection of a merchant ship when they were accosted by Iranian vessels, the ministry said in a statement. Cmdr. Kevin Aandahl of the US Navy's Fifth Fleet in Bahrain identified the vessels as those of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards navy, a radical force that operates independently from the regular Iranian Navy. Aandahl said that no shots were fired during incident and that the British sailors appeared unhurt.

Now from BBC:

A spokesman for the Iranian foreign ministry, Hamid Reza Asefi, said the three vessels had entered Iranian waters on Monday morning.

An Iranian military spokesman indicated the detained crew could be freed quickly if an inquiry shows there had been no malicious intent.

Of course. And what about the official British response?

A spokesman at the UK defence ministry said British forces in Iraq were using boats to train the Iraqi river patrol service, and the craft may have strayed across the maritime border by mistake. "The waterway runs over a mile wide. The border runs pretty much down the middle of it," he said.

Anyway, it seems that the 15 guys may be in for a fairly long stretch.

Our Tehran correspondent says a rapid solution to the incident may no longer be possible, because the issue has moved into the political arena.

Surely, when the defense ministry is already handing over all the cards to the Iranians. Just as a reminder:

In June 2004, six British marines and two sailors were seized by Iran in the Shatt al-Arab between Iran and Iraq. They were presented blindfolded on Iranian television and admitted entering Iranian waters illegally. They were released unharmed after three days

Now, of course, everything depends on how much of a production the Iranians will want to make of the case. Let's hope the sailors will be back as soon as possible.

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New stress therapy

Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is, it really works.

1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world".
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face you're holding (of the Democrat or whomever you don't like) under water.
8. See, you're smiling already.

From these nice folks.

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A short story for computer nerds

In fact, the original story is quite long, and I have decided to convey its essence in a few words for people in the computing business.

How to ctrl, alt, delete $48 billion

1. Inadvertent deletion of a hard disk
2. Panic
3. Panic caused reformatting of a backup hard disk
4. Backup tapes unreadable (when were the backup tapes readable?)
5. No disaster recovery setup
6. ... gloom... more gloom...
   
7. 300 cartons of paperwork to scan...

And now the whole story again - in two words:

Government. Bleh...

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The Confusion Sign

This is the official, one-of-a-kind confusion sign of SimplyJews:


From this day onward, this will be the second official confusion sign of this Elders' den:

All glory be to the Elders!

The Greatest Domain Name Ever

You know what? Someone actually owns the following domain name:

http: //www.yahweh.com/

At first, I got all excited and bubbly, but my elation was soon gone, as it quickly emerged that the site belongs to yet another weird American cult. Some people are incredibly preposterous to say the least.

What's next?

http: //yahweh.blogspot.com?

P.S. Oops, it turns out that the above name has already been taken as well... You never know.

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POTUS vs. POTUS

It seems that Carter (almost) trouble-free sailing with his "Palestine: Peace or Apartheid" opus is coming to an end. Here is what another POTUS has to say about this attempt to be universally liked (by the Arab street):

Former President Bill Clinton, in a handwritten letter to AJC Executive Director David Harris, voiced appreciation for his efforts to expose the inaccuracies in President Jimmy Carter’s book on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “Thanks so much for your articles about President Carter’s book. I don’t know where his information (or conclusions) came from …” said Clinton. “I’m grateful.”

More here.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

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