14 December 2016

Energy Expenditure during Sexual Activity and Political Correctness

I have always been partial to a well turned out, well financed and well documented totally useless research, of which there are so many variations in so many nests of learning in this world (examples in the addendum). Lately, though, with the onset of Political Correctness, one should be more tuned into the whys and hows of the scientific progress and be more attentive to subtle nuances, hitherto missed.

One such questionable research, which I am bringing to your attention, was outrageously conceived and sloppily performed in Université du Québec à Montréal. Its purpose was, ostensibly, "To determine energy expenditure in kilocalories (kcal) during sexual activity in young healthy couples in their natural environment and compare it to a session of endurance exercise". A worthy endeavor by all means, you would say. But wait. Here is the first stumbling block:
The study population consisted of twenty one heterosexual couples (age: 22.6 ± 2.8 years old) from the Montreal region.
I don't even know where to start with this extremely offensive confession of amoral and absolutely politically incorrect choice of the study group. Here comes the (unsorted) list of blunders:
  • Ageism. Where are the middle-aged and senior citizens? Excluded.
  • Anti-multiculturalism: Where are the different religions, sects, atheists etc.? Excluded.
  • Lack of gender recognition. The acronym LGBTQQIP2SAA barely starts to describe the wonderful world of different gender persuasions. Where are all these genders represented in this study? Excluded.
  • Political blindness. It is (anecdotally) known that people of different political orientation have different approaches to expending their energy on sexual activity. Excluded.
  • Lack of control group. Why there wasn't a control group, made out of all the above mentioned folks NOT being able to be sexually active, doing instead something else? Like watching a football game on TV? Excluded.
The list of glaring examples of lack of inclusiveness could go on and on. But even this inadequate study brought at least one result worthy of attention:
Mean energy expenditure during sexual activity was 101 kCal or 4.2 kCal/min in men and 69.1 kCal or 3.1 kCal/min in women.
Of course, it is fruit from a poisoned tree. Still, the measured lack of gender equality, at least in Montréal, Canada, is extremely worrying, and UN should want to address it urgently. While these numbers might explain the longer life expectancy of the female population, the sacred principle of gender equality doesn't care about side effects. So there.

As for the whole unfortunate un-PC research: Redo From Scratch!

Addendum: selected examples of research

Testosterone is what drives men's desire to own fast cars.

Pet owners should swap cats and dogs for creatures they can eat.

Cat owners cleverer than dog owners.

Study links chocolate and depression.

Vegetarian dinosaurs' flatulence may have warmed Earth.

Wet objects are easier to handle with wrinkled fingers than with dry, smooth ones.

Men going thin on top may be more likely to have heart problems than their friends with a full head of hair.

Researchers say wearing bra 'false necessity'.

Monsanto Cucumbers Cause Genital Baldness.

Men with smaller testicles more likely to be involved with nappy changing, feeding and bath time.

A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship.