First of all, it's quite some time since I had my teeth in Guardian's knee. Secondly, it is a rare case when a Guardian's (or, rather, The Observer's, if anyone cares) writer is in this win-win situation, when in one sentence she could both send a kiss the Palestinian way and deliver a kick on the shin (the second most painful kick in the female arsenal) to the Israeli government.
And all I need for illustration is this one sentence from the whole article:
The new, more moderate government installed in Palestine yesterday has not been recognised by Israel.
That's all, really. See how simple and elegant? On one hand we have a new and more moderate Palestinian government (it is clear to every rational person, isn't it?). On the other hand, we have these bloodthirsty recalcitrant Jooz who just do not see the hand of peace offered to them.
That "moderate" government is headed by Hamas, powered by Hamas and belongs to Hamas lock, stock and barrel. The honor of negotiating with Israel is left to Fatah people, true, but to what end? Who is going to accept, ratify and carry out any possible agreement between the powerless Fatah with its powerless chief and Israel? The same good old Hamas that does not give a hoot about any agreement and, in fact, continues to refuse even to consider recognising Israel. Demanding recognition for such government is a travesty, and any unbiased person with more than one brain cell can see it clearly. But these are, probably, two extraneous requirements in Guardian's HR recruitment forms.
Using a very lively imagery by a superb Russian author, the whole act of creation of this "moderate government" is akin to covering a pile of shit by some autumn leaves. Not that the leaves in this case are just some mere innocent leaves. At this point I just must pass the microphone to Akaky Akakievich Bashmachkin of The Passing Parade:
So let me get this straight: people are annoyed that the party that wants to destroy Israel won the elections against the other party that wants to destroy Israel, but won't actually come out and say so at the moment. Since everyone knew that the governing party that wants to destroy Israel but wont come out and say so really does want to destroy Israel whether they say so or not, why is everyone so concerned that the party that wants to destroy Israel won the election, since by definition both of the parties involved want to destroy Israel, except that the second party that wants to destroy Israel finds it politic at the moment not to mention that they want to destroy Israel just as much as the other party that wants to destroy Israel but has no qualms about bringing up the fact that they want to destroy Israel, unlike the party that wants to destroy Israel but doesnt want to come out and say that they want to destroy Israel. There is a theme here, isnt there, or have I missed something along the way?
This quote is still as true and vibrant as it was at the moment of its writing. And I promise to repeat it again and again in the hope that some of it (at least the "So let me get this straight " part) will register with some of the Guardian scribes.
Or is it too much to hope for?
P.S. Hamas has already done their best to provide some substance to the claim that the new government is more moderate:
Initial reports indicated that the man, identified as an Israel Electric Corporation worker about 40 years of age, sustained moderate injuries to his thigh and that his wounds were not life-threatening.
Indeed, Hamas is mellowing. In other times they would have killed him...
Just a reminder: most of electricity in Gaza is provided by the Israeli Electric Corporation.
And:
The 21-year-old Palestinian student was interrogated by Egyptian police and confessed he belonged to Hamas that intended to provide him with an explosive belt and instructions to cross into Israel...
In the olden times the student would have blown himself and the Egyptian policemen to smithereens. Now it is all moderate, moderate, moderate...
Cross-posted on Yourish.com
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Have you ever wondered who was that man (I can safely call him a man without fearing another accusation of male chauvinism in this case) who braved the unknown and agreed to make the first big step in that epic journey to the enrichment of human life and some (partial) recovery of male ego? I mean, of course, the advent of SEDs (sexual enhancement drugs) that entered our lives to stay forever, not the least in the form of countless spam that inundates our e-mail inboxes.
So, if you forget for the moment the myriads of lab rats, cats, dogs, baboons etc. who were the first to experience the joy of modern living - who were these valiant males of humankind who agreed to take the first pills? Surely you don't know. I think I have got an answer, even if inadvertently, from one of the above mentioned spams. Here it is:
Marco Kennith Mcwilliams... 7 times yesterday... Say what you will, but the man is a giant. And humanity must be greatful to him forever. After all, he is, most probably, the first (but not the last) SED addict. And there is no hope for him whatsoever...
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Ynet reports on a gathering in Ramallah called 'Jerusalem First' conference. The proceedings of the conference are, most probably, as good a proof of a deity pulling some strings as any other natural or supernatural phenomena. After all, it is a rare day when our fairly useless PR machinery gets what is called in modern advertisement lingo "a free gift".
It started with the following call of despair:
Hadash Party Chairman MK Mohammed Barakeh ... sharply attacked Israeli policy in the capital, claiming that it sought to empty the city of its Palestinian inhabitants.
"With all due respect to Al-Aqsa Mosque and its holiness," Barakeh declared, "if Israel succeeds in emptying Jerusalem of its residents, what will be the city's importance? The city, if it has no inhabitants, will be no more than stones."
Unfortunately, the honorable participants in this conference failed to compare notes, and this is what happened:
The Palestinian Authority's "governor of Jerusalem," another conference participant, said that "despite all our fears, we are managing to survive in Jerusalem. In 1967 there were 70,000 Palestinians in Jerusalem and now we are 300,000."
Some stones... Truly a meeting of minds. And this is not all. The above mentioned "governor of Jerusalem" decided to go even farther with the following pearl:
"No historian or archaeologist - even Israeli ones - have ever succeeded in proving that there is a historically based religious or political link between the Jews and Jerusalem."
No comments...
Cross-posted on
Yourish.com***
The West is relentlessly struggling to come up with viable solutions to the myriad of problems it is faced with, tripping up and making U-turns on the way. The sought-after solution, however, is on the surface.
A leading Muslim cleric has blamed the devastating drought, climate change and pollution on Australians’ lack of faith in Allah.
The civilized world now has the moral obligation to put the pressure on Aussies to accept Islam without further ado, thereby quickly and neatly saving the entire planet from pollution and global warming. Now we know!
Radical sheik Mohammed Omran told followers at his Brunswick mosque that out-of-control secular scientific values had caused environmental disaster.
I couldn't agree more. Were we still living in the glorious 7th century, as the prophet achingly wants us to, there would be no problems with pollution to plague us.“The fear of Allah is not there. So we have now a polluted earth, a polluted water, a wasteland,” he told a meeting this year.
Fear of Allah => no polluted earth and no polluted water. Eureka! Who needs lowly western scientists with intellectual giants such as this mullah? Now it has become crystal clear why the Muslim World has, to date, produced so few outstanding scientists - it is busy churning out sheiks, each of whom is infinitely superior to that Einstein Jew.“What are the people now crying for? The prophet told you hundreds of years ago, ‘Look after the water’.”
I bow my head in shame - and awe.British-based Sheik Abdul Raheem Green forbade Muslims from having fewer than four children so Australia would become an Islamic state.
I am sure that most Australians feel somewhat uneasy in the aftermath of the sheik making such proclamations - and they without doubt have every reason to be outraged and enraged. However, whenever Israel steps up efforts to protect and perpetuate the Jewish majority of the country, it is seen as an unabashed display of racism and bigotry. I hope that the fact that we are traveling in the same boat now will bring us closer to one another, giving birth to greater mutual understanding and cooperation.Behind the closed doors of some Melbourne mosques and bookshops, sheiks push for Sharia law, declare Islam at war with the “sick” West and gloat that September 11 boosted Muslim numbers.
I must acknowledge that I have never been able to understand why Muslims are enthusiastically pouring into the sick and immoral West, needlessly jeopardizing their moral superiority as a result. Why don't they leave westerners to rot in their unspeakably appalling misery?All told, I concur with this shrewd decision on the part of the Muslim bigwigs of Australia:Five of Australia's most powerful Islamic clerics, including Sheik Taj Aldin Alhilali, have been banned from talking to the media by Muslim leaders.
The Lebanese Muslim Association (LMA) has gagged the imams from Lakemba Mosque in Sydney's south-west to stop them delivering "anti-Australian" messages, The Australian newspaper reports.
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We are often told - in very "forceful" terms - by our Muslim friends that Temple Mount constitutes the third holiest site in Islam. However, my impression, formed under the influence of the pictures posted below, is that it was practically lying in ruins, forgotten and neglected, for a long time. Only when Jews arrived in the region en masse and started affirming their rights, did Muslims begin to show such keen interest in the "holy" sites.
The sacred place looks like abandoned ruins to me. Link.
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The normal way of finishing that headline will be with the word "up". This, however, does not seem to fit the case. A toddler stands up for the first time, a sitting person gets up (tiredly, of course), a sick man lying in bed gets up after an illness. All these cases are hardly applicable to the situation where a humongous Haveil Havalim from the main factory where the first Haveil Havalim was designed and created, turns all its turrets and trains the big guns for a broadside.
Probably the more suitable term will be: Haveil Havalim #110 is here. And you better not stand in its way, just sit down, prepare your favorite food and drinks and get going. Lest it keeps you busy till Pesach, and who will prepare the haroset then?
And this is the first opportunity to wish us all Happy Pesach. And to say thanks to the mighty one (I mean Soccer Dad, of course).
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And the headline is really not about Muslims, it is rather about some regular garden variety Brits. The kind that are becoming so hypersensitive that even in a case where a Muslim highly sensitive antennae remain still, invent new threats to multicultural coexistence in the happy land of Albion.
The three little pigs have been cut from a children's performance at Huddersfield Town Hall for fear of offending Muslims.
Children from Honley C of E Junior School will portray three little puppies instead at the Kirklees Primary Music Festival in June.
Organisers of the festival, which runs from June 12 to 14, decided to change the pigs to puppies so as not to offend Muslim children or parents.
Gill Goodswen, head teacher of Stile Common Junior School at Newsome, was one of those who made the decision in a committee meeting.
She said: "We have to be sensitive if we want to be multi-cultural.
"It was felt it would be more responsible not to use the three little pigs."
Of course, one should applaude this expression of sensitivity and care on the side of the head teacher. One can wonder at the same time about the sanity of said teacher. And some people do.
Clr Terry Lyons was upset to learn of the decision.
The independent, whose ward includes Honley, said: "I can't believe that Muslims would be offended by this. This is pandering to a few extremists."
Clr Lyons believes the people who made the decision may have been influenced by the controversy surrounding the sacking of teaching assistant Aishah Azmi in Dewsbury last year.
He said: "There's an element of fear evident since the veil dispute and I don't think that's healthy."
Apparently, it is not just sensitivity and multi-culti witch hunt, but also the plain old fear that caused that wretched idea to be conceived. So we can discount our doubts re sanity of the decision-makers in this case. But what do the Muslims, who are so touchingly treated, think about the whole business?
Mohammed Imran, of the Hanfia Mosque and Educational Institute in Lockwood, welcomed the thinking behind the decision.
He said: "I think it's great that the festival organisers are considering things which might offend Muslims. They are obviously trying to involve children rather than exclude them."
But Mr Imran pointed out that Islam does not ban the mentioning of pigs.
He said: "According to the Koran it's forbidden to eat pork or to touch a pig, but there's no ruling against talking about them or singing about them.
"I think certain parents would have a problem with the portrayal of pigs, but it's not the same throughout the community."
It looks like the knee-jerk expression of sensitivity by the schoolmarms came rather as a surprise to the Muslim community. No wonder if in the future some members of this community will try to get a free ride on the sensitivity (or, maybe, fear?) wave that seems to be overwhelming the PC decision-makers in Britain.
I wonder whether I should mention that pig is no less (and no more) offensive to representatives of a certain other religion, but this fact seems not to have any appreciable impact of the multi-culti crowd...
So what is to come next? Toilet seats facing Mecca? Cemeteries where graves are aligned in Muslim fashion? Police consulting a mullah before arresting a suspected terrorist? Assigning police duty according to the religious sensitivities?
Oops... Oops... Oops... Oops...Update: the little piggies are back, at least for now. I must say, this is a case where a Tory deserves some kudos:
Philip Davies, the Conservative MP for Shipley, said: "My view is that the people responsible for this are completely bonkers. It is the type of political correctness which makes people's blood boil.
"As usual it is done in the name of ethnic minorities but it is perpetrated by white, middle class, do-gooders with a guilt complex and far too much time on their hands."
Yep.
Update 2: but
this piggy will not be back. And I cannot even say "unbelievable" anymore.
H/T to
Mike.
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To: all field units
From: Elders' HQ, Chief Of Operations
Priority: medium
CC: mind control team
Subject: Subversive elements in the Jooish ranks
It came to our attention that a subversive group is raising its head lately, and in one of the most sensitive spots - NYC. The so called veg*ns (a stupid code name if there ever was one) are recruiting new members into their ranks. While the size of the group is pitiful, it should be stated that the mere idea to eschew consumption of animal bodies is against everything we, the Elders, stand for. It may cause some of our brethren to start doubting the cornerstone of our tradition - the consumption of human (gentile, to be precise) blood. There is no telling where it might end then.
While the threat, as it was mentioned, is minuscule, it should be treated. First, the mind control team is ordered to carry out 4 to 5 sessions of indoctrination with the suspects. Starting with images of rotisserie chicken, followed by shawarma cum pita, then to bloody roast and, in cases of especially resistant minds, succulent pork chops. The next step will have to be some negative reinforcement, with indiscriminate usage of the image offered by the suspects themselves:
While the nature of the material presented in the picture is anyone's guess, the deviants have done us a favor, showing off something that looks virtually indistinguishable from cow patties. So the main motif of the negative reinforcement is handed to us on a plate.
We have allocated two calendar months for the mind control team effort. After the stated period a review of the situation will be made. In case of necessity a field team of some junior reptilians will be sent over to deal with remaining hard cases. Due to their veg*n way of life, the task should be considered an easy exercise for the youngsters.
The chief of mind control team is to report weekly via regular channels.
P.S. Personal expense reports of dubious character, such as renting a yacht for better focusing of mind rays, will be rejected. All activities to be carried out as usual, from the HQ bunker.
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Hear, hear!
Now tell me who could put it better.
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"After having dug to a depth of 1,000 meters last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network all those centuries ago..
Not to be outdone, English scientists dug to a depth of 2,000 meters; headlines in the U. K. newspapers read: “English archaeologists found traces of 2,000-year-old fiber-optic cable and concluded their ancestors had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years before the French Tele.”
One week later, Israeli Newspapers reported the following: “After digging 3,000 meters in a Jerusalem marketplace, scientists found absolutely nothing. They therefore concluded that 5,000 years ago, Jews were already using wireless technology."
Link.
A potential Palestinian suicide bomber and 10 Egyptians were arrested in the northern Sinai Peninsula, a security official said on Thursday.
The Palestinian, identified as Hamid al-Nador, was detained Tuesday while wearing an explosive belt inside a beach resort in the border city of el-Arish, the security official said...
First Egyptian police came for bloggers and now they are punishing people for wearing items of fashion. That could be used as flotation devices in emergency, by the way.
There is no justice, I say...
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Even though I am having one hell of a hectic week, some news, by virtue of its urgent nature, brooks no delay. According to the Daily Mail, the Putin administration is still unabashedly assaulting all sorts of freedom in Russia and has recently decided to focus its attention on the Internet:
Russia's creation of a super agency to regulate the media and Internet has led to fears of a return to Soviet-style repression.
President Vladimir Putin has decided to merge two authorities to license and oversee the editorial content of broadcasters, newspapers and websites.
Officials claim this will improve efficiency but some of Russia’s top journalists are uneasy.
Under Putin’s rule, domestic media are under heavy pressure not to criticise the government.
Raf Shakirov, who was dismissed as editor of the Izvestiya daily after critical coverage of the 2004 Beslan school siege, said Putin’s decree could extend Soviet-style controls to Russia’s online media.
‘This is an attempt to put everything under control, including personal data about people such as bloggers,’ he said.
Roman Bodanin, political editor of news website gazeta.ru, said the superregulator could make it easier for the government to pressure the media because it would also control the granting of licences.
It is crucially important to take into consideration the present-day climate in Russia in order to fully grasp the sheer evil of this decision. The vast majority of TV channels in Russia are owned by the State and thus too impotent and scared to criticize, even mildly, the government. They, put bluntly, have no official permission to indulge in this decidedly unwholesome activity.
It will no doubt be a tall order for westerners to create a mental picture of this mind-boggling situation, but there is absolutely no criticism of the top echelons of the government on TV and in the most widely circulated newspapers. In essence, the media has been tacitly allowed to carp only at minor players and undesirables, and strictly in small doses to boot.
Needless to say, not all people are willing to put up with with glaring information vacuum. Many have turned to the Internet as the only unregulated medium where they are at liberty to air their grievances with abandon and freely exchange their forbidden ideas with other dissenters. Bloggers have largely become a pain in the neck for governmental officials, who wish to stifle all debate, and, it appears, they are firmly on their way to take ruthless action.
Few in the Russian blogging circles have fallen for the reassurances that the motion is not a veiled infringement on freedom of speech. Of course, equally few are paranoid enough to believe that they will be swiftly rounded up and sent to Siberia to labor camps, but there is a widespread consensus that this announcement will create an atmosphere of fear, and the most outspoken bloggers will have to either tone down or shut up shop of their own volition. There is no need to sully the good name of the emergent Russian democracy, for the Russians are a learned people, capable of getting the drift of their leaders in a jiffy.It seems as though an evil spell has been cast upon this country, and there is no escape from this vicious circle.
P.S. And, lest I forget, Berl Lazar, one of the chief rabbis of Russia, is still gladly licking Putin's ass.
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President's defense lawyers claim police investigators did not ask him if he wanted to be stripped of his immunity, and therefore evidence was collected against him in violation of his immunity. All the evidence collected by the police against President Moshe Katsav is illegal and should be rejected, the suspended president's defense attorneys have said. This claim will serve as the president's new line of defense, which will be presented in a hearing expected to be held to Katsav by Attorney General Menachem Mazuz in May, and later at court, should he be officially indicted over alleged sex offenses.
This rabbit comes from a legal hat of a master, surely. However, not being of legal persuasion, I cannot predict whether it will hold up in court for more time than it takes the judge to say "Bushmills straight, no ice". (Sorry, it is St. Patrick day's influence. I wanted to say "argument dismissed".)
Anyway, the linked and quoted article, as if accidentally, carries the following ad:
Surely using the good services of JDate would have been a better and safer way to make friends and influence people than what is described in the thick evidence file?
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I shall hoist one or two (who is really counting?) in your honor.
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