11 April 2007

Neutron Saifeddin - the saga continues

The former commander of Iraq's Republican Guard has accused the US of using non-conventional weapons in its war against the Middle East country. Saifeddin Fulayh Hassan Taha al-Rawi told Al Jazeera that US forces used neutron and phosphorus bombs during their assault on Baghdad airport before the April 9 capture of the Iraqi capital. Al-Rawi is one of the most wanted associates of Saddam Hussein, the deposed Iraqi leader, still on the run.
The above quote from the Al Jazeera exclusive, while interesting by itself, conveniently skirts some amazing facts from the story of valiant Saifeddin. As it can be seen, the hero is hiding his head in a kafiyeh during the interview:

On the other hand, his face is already not a secret:
Why should a person whose open and friendly face appeared in the stack of cards, widely and freely distributed by US forces in Iraq, hide his face from the viewers, you may very well ask?

And the reason is simple: Saifeddin was one of the Iraqi soldiers in the airport area that fell prey to the diabolic neutron bombs. While all other soldiers perished, Al Rawi was saved by the will of Allah. However, there was a price: the especially rabid neutrons, trained by the infidels to attack senior Iraqi officers, completely disfigured our hero, and now he looks like this:

Of course, this seeming misfortune had its bright side: no matter how much effort the infidels made to catch Saifeddin, his new face deceived them.

There is another grievance Saifeddin nurtures: his hurt ego. In an off the record discussion with Al Jazeera reporter, he complained about being assigned the insulting rank of jack of clubs. "I will show the infidel aggressors who is Saifeddin Fulayh Hass... mmm... curse these foul parents of mine for inventing this darn long name, anyway I'll show them! A measly million dollars for my head!", the general shouted. It took the reporter a prolonged lunch in a belly-dancing restaurant to calm Saifeddin down.