14 April 2007

The cobwebs of hope

Echoing the piece of news on the arse probing by Will:

The Rambam Medical Center in Haifa may be able to bring new hope for men suffering from impotence problems. A study being conducted at the hospital's sexual health clinic is aimed at determining whether a toxin secreted by spiders can help improve sexual performance among men.

The study was launched after researchers learned that men who had been bitten by spiders suffered from unusually prolonged erections.

One type of spiders to be used in the study is the notorious black widow.
While the article does not explain why this new study is necessary, what with proliferation of colored pills, herbs and other remedies on the market, it is clear that men will go as far as necessary in the search for that magic wand.

Happily, being bitten on the arse by a spider will not be necessary, the article mentions that the venom will be extracted from the source in another way.

There is one detail, though: the author of the article made a bit of a mess, mixing the black widow with the tarantula, whose picture was used for the article:

The real black widow spider looks like this:

And re this innuendo of having a black widow in your bed: the females of black widow spider variety do not usually use their males for a post-coital snack. Tarantulas, on the other hand, frequently do.

Since that big hairy tarantula was mentioned, I think that it could be used to improve male performance without any need for injections of venom or pills. Just hang a live one over the underperforming male and threaten him a bit. Should do wonders.

On the other hand...

P.S. On that colon-probing widget: I hope its software is up to the task, otherwise the widget might suddenly start cleaning your teeth instead of crawling your colon.