16 April 2007

The meme revenge

That is not the first time I am succumbing to the devious plots by some people aimed to force me into that darn meme folly. Knowing that I have a soft spot for him in my heart, Shlemazl has done it again. Still, being an Elder, I have decided to play ball, but in my own way.

So what is going to happen now is that I shall choose a number of random answers from Shlemazl's own version of the "Five Things You Didn't Know About Me" meme, copy his answers and comment on each in my way. So here we go:

4. At the time best Soviet universities did not accept Jews. Jews were routinely "failed" during entrance examinations because of the notorious "fifth item" in the application forms that we had to fill in. It read "nationality" but it meant "ethnicity". I studied extremely hard at school and managed to slip through the system. I was the only Jew to enter my university in 1987. By the time I graduated Perestroika was running wild and the place was infested with Jews.
4a. No worries, Shlemazl: Perestroika is quite dead, and normal services have been resumed. As it was exceedingly well shown by our own AgentAzure, the place is no more infested by Jooz.
3. When I applied to one of the top Soviet universities, I did not know it had anything to do with "nuclear". That was a secret. I got into this business by accident.
3a. The youngster is, probably, talking about the outfit that I applied to quite a lot of years before him. I knew it was about nuclear and got promptly throw out on my face for my troubles. The only university of esteem that agreed to take me in was a few thousand miles to the east...
5. At university I did not have to study at all. Professors would read my name, look at me, automatically assume that I was a genius - otherwise I wouldn't be at that university - and give me the top mark without embarrassing themselves by asking stupid questions.
5a. I, on the other hand, did not want to study due to heady environment and a serious case of hormonal imbalance caused by a certain lady.
9. When my company offered a move to Canada I accepted it for they can't play hockey in Britain. I hoped for proper winters too, but that didn't happen.
9a. My company, on the other hand, being an Israeli one, didn't offer. They just told me you are moving for at least three years to the xxx (somewhere in the Midwestern US) or else. I moved. After three years I have decided that a) I purely love the US of A and b) that three years is enough.
13. Just for my leftie readers... Yes, I do work for Mossad. Remember that earthquake a couple of years back? That was me. Suppose you've known it all along. Watch out what you do and say, for it is me that you see in your rear view mirror every morning.
13a. Big deal, of course shlemazl works for this pool of semi-amateur rookies we use for preliminary selection to the Elders' field units. And of course, that semi-amateur stuff like earthquakes, floods, plagues, offing the firstborn (count to ten, please) is being 101 level training material since the days of exodus. Nothing much to brag about, really.

Now look here, Shlemazl: do desist with these memes, unless you want to become a close acquaintance of TheMaiden. Unlike in the case of the lady who accompanied you on the job, this one will care solely about her own personal enjoyment. This relationship will involve you very intensely, but only one of you will enjoy it. If you know what I mean.