18 March 2007

The traitors in our midst

To: all field units
From: Elders' HQ, Chief Of Operations

Priority: medium

CC: mind control team

Subject: Subversive elements in the Jooish ranks

It came to our attention that a subversive group is raising its head lately, and in one of the most sensitive spots - NYC. The so called veg*ns (a stupid code name if there ever was one) are recruiting new members into their ranks. While the size of the group is pitiful, it should be stated that the mere idea to eschew consumption of animal bodies is against everything we, the Elders, stand for. It may cause some of our brethren to start doubting the cornerstone of our tradition - the consumption of human (gentile, to be precise) blood. There is no telling where it might end then.

While the threat, as it was mentioned, is minuscule, it should be treated. First, the mind control team is ordered to carry out 4 to 5 sessions of indoctrination with the suspects. Starting with images of rotisserie chicken, followed by shawarma cum pita, then to bloody roast and, in cases of especially resistant minds, succulent pork chops. The next step will have to be some negative reinforcement, with indiscriminate usage of the image offered by the suspects themselves:

While the nature of the material presented in the picture is anyone's guess, the deviants have done us a favor, showing off something that looks virtually indistinguishable from cow patties. So the main motif of the negative reinforcement is handed to us on a plate.

We have allocated two calendar months for the mind control team effort. After the stated period a review of the situation will be made. In case of necessity a field team of some junior reptilians will be sent over to deal with remaining hard cases. Due to their veg*n way of life, the task should be considered an easy exercise for the youngsters.

The chief of mind control team is to report weekly via regular channels.

P.S. Personal expense reports of dubious character, such as renting a yacht for better focusing of mind rays, will be rejected. All activities to be carried out as usual, from the HQ bunker.