The woman who made it happen

In our era of narrowing scientific expertise, rarely does a person discover a hidden connection between seemingly unrelated areas of knowledge. Discoveries of this kind are becoming things of the past, and, I fear to say, the golden age of Leonardo will never return.

It is absolutely astounding when in this age someone breaks the mold. Extends the envelope, makes a breakthrough, pushes the pedal to the metal, takes it all, spanks the ca... Er... scratch the last one. Anyway, you know what I mean.

In short, when a momentous discovery of a link between two so far seemingly unrelated entities - Zinedine Zidan and George Bush - is made, easily and elegantly, as if an afterthought, and by a person who's only claim to a scientific title is that she served 8 years as adjunct professor at the University of Southern California's School of Journalism - why, doesn't it make you cry tears of happiness?

While the whole world stood agape at the sight of Zizou headbutting an Italian player, and then waited for a week for an explanation of this inexplicable phenomenon, never observed hitherto on a myriad football fields in the world, only one person - Patt Morrison, she of many titles and achievements, kept her cool and analysed. And analysed. And a... Sorry, I am still overexcited.

Anyhow, here it comes - the groundbreaking scientific article disguised as a humble "opinion" piece in LA Times.

NOW WE KNOW why France's team captain lost his cool in the World Cup finals and France lost the trophy to Italy.

Terrorism.

Zinedine Zidane, who is of French and Algerian ancestry, head-butted an Italian player who insulted him. Although Zidane in an interview Wednesday would not say what words provoked him, a lip reader hired by the Times of London claims Marco Materazzi called Zidane "the son of a terrorist whore.''

That's pure trickle-down politics. From the White House to the soccer pitch, "terrorist" has "cooties" and "your mother wears combat boots" flat beat as the top playground potty-mouth slur for the 21st century.

Who's surprised? The Bush administration has been scattering the word like ticker tape on a Manhattan parade. Old McDonald left the farm for the NSA, and now it's here a terrorist, there a terrorist, everywhere a terrorist.

Are you sufficiently breathless? No? Your worthless body and worthless mind don't contain a single scientific molecule then. Turn yourself in to the nearest butcher as a suitable material for cat food.








To Andrew Ian Dodge - you made my day!

Cross-posted on Yourish.com