04 July 2006

More amazing stuff from the La-La Land

Some days are better than other, some Guardian articles are more sane than other. And some days bring some articles that leave one with a feeling that there is some collective madness in that place that churns out such extreme examples of obsessive behavior.

I have decided to use two of such examples for a potpourri: Israel's act of war is inexcusable by Will Hutton (WH) and Anything but negotiation by Patrick Seale (PS).

To start with headlines: WH is recycling the quote from his buddy Chris McGreal's article that is attributed to Ismail Haniyeh:

Gaza escalation cannot be justified, says Haniyeh

There is a slight difference in shades of Islamic green, but it is lovely to see a Guardian scribe being so in tune with the Hamas chief. And of course, the PS headline comes from an area of the world that is getting more and more used to pay a good buck for every kidnapped person, effectively causing kidnapping to become a cottage industry in some other areas of the world.

By using vastly disproportionate force against Gaza, Israel has once again demonstrated its contempt for international law and its indifference to human suffering. (PS)

Using? As far as I know, Israel hasn't started yet. And which international law might that be? The one regarding acceptable treatment of a POW?

Israel's destruction of Gaza and illegal political detention of members of the Palestinian government and parliament were to teach Hamas a lesson. (WH)

Destruction of Gaza? Them are heavy words. Not yet, methinks. Re the Hon. MPs and Ministers: don't they belong to a group of people designated by many governments as a terrorist organization?

Arab and Muslim loathing for the Jewish state - and its US ally - will inevitably be cranked up with everything this implies for the security of Israelis and Americans everywhere. There will always be Palestinians and others who will seek revenge, in one form or another, including a resort to terrorism. (PS)

Arab and Muslim loathing for the Jewish state is doing well enough, our actions in Gaza notwithstanding, thanks all the same for the tip. And we kinda understand that there will always be "Palestinians and others" that will want to kill a few Jooz for recreation. In one form or another. But the last point - resorting to terrorism - you must be kidding! No way will I believe this!

Alarmed at US inaction, Britain and France are already working quietly on a project to define their own parameters for resolving the conflict. (PS)

The last time these two powers "worked quietly" together it all ended in this unfortunate Suez Canal war of 1956. Blamed on the Zionists, of course. So keep an eye on this "quiet work" for us, PS, would you? There is a good chap.

By bombing its main power station, Israel has deprived most of Gaza of electricity, including water-pumping stations.
In any other context, this would be a declaration of war(WH).

That's not a power station, dumbo - only a few transformers. Try to learn at least the first thing on the subject you are writing about with such aplomb. The Gazan rocket scientists do not have time to spare to plan for a power station, so they get their electricity from the Zionist entity they so hate. Mostly unpaid, too. Oh, and the transformers are insured by Americans. So look at it as a contribution to local trade and employment.

And re that declaration of war - where have you been lately?

The Hamas government has not yet renounced its commitment to the elimination of Israel or to the use of terrorism. Missiles from Gaza are regularly fired at Israel.(WH)

Deep. Truly deep, but maybe once in a millennium some Guardian scribe will put his head to this subject alone? Maybe then he/she will discover that this phenomena might have something to do with the "declaration of war"?

But disproportionality on such a scale is self-defeating. It casts Israel as the rogue state and Palestinians as victims. (WH)

That's truly the case of rooting for underdog gone amok. I am starting to believe that if, instead of using IDF, every Israeli family were to start a metal workshop in the yard, producing and launching rockets at will, it would have satisfied the proportionality-hungry well-wishers. Sorry, WH, we have no intention to become a tribe of professional victims. I know that many would dearly wish so, but no thanks.

And now to the real stinkeroo. Both WH and PS are very upbeat on account of the so called "national unity" agreement that is so much talked about lately:

Hamas backed down, knowing he would win, and reached a national unity pact with Mr Abbas's Fatah. The basis for resuming negotiations was being put in place. (WH)

It [the Israeli government] abhors the recent Hamas-Fatah accord, which implicitly recognises Israel, because it threatens to produce a Palestinian partner ready to negotiate the creation of a Palestinian state within the 1967 borders.(PS)

No matter that this agreement is just a rehash of the same "Palestine from the river to the sea" in another packaging, the talking heads of the Guardian are unfazed. And of course, follows the regular strawman:

The dark interpretation of Israel's reaction in Gaza is that it does not want a politically viable negotiating partner in Palestine. It suits Israel to characterise Hamas as terrorist fundamentalists who are beyond the pale.(WH)

Israel will do everything to avoid a negotiation. Hence, it deliberately inflicts inhumane hardships on the Palestinians in order to radicalise them and drive the moderates from the scene. Moderates, who are prepared to talk, are Israel's real enemies.(PS)

Makes one wonder who our real enemies are, doesn't it, dear WH and PS?

I am tired of all this crapola, so here comes the real cherry in that malodorous cake - for desserts. Look what PS, the expert in Middle Eastern affairs has to say about Qassams:

These rockets have so far not killed anyone but they are a very considerable irritant.

12 people killed* and scores of wounded and shellshocked civilians counts as an irritant? Even if PS does not count Jews, there were two Bedouin shepherds killed, so maybe at least two could register on the pristine brain cells of the expert?

I do not have a good exit line for this. I just wonder what in the whole blue world motivates people to write such one-sided perverted crap? It cannot be the money - it cannot be good enough in that cheap establishment.

(*)Linked an outdated article, but a mandatory reading all the same.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com