08 July 2006

Run, Sammy, run!

TOP SECRET - EYES ONLY

By special messenger

To: Samuel Ben Ladensky, aka Osama Bin Laden
Cave B-35
El-Sharmuta Mountains
Pakistan

Sammy,

It came to our attention that our Hasbara operation, aimed to discredit a certain Larry Darby, backfired. Please take a good look at this picture:













This, apparently spineless, ball-less and sleazy lawyer has more to him than meets the eye. It was our mistake to let him live, I feel that we must confess to a serious error of judgment. And now look what he has done:

A Jew revealed to be a top al Qaeda leader

For the first time, a former Orange County, Calif. teenage rock music fan has revealed his role as a top al Qaeda leader.

Adam Gadahn, who disappeared from California seven years ago, appeared unmasked on an al Qaeda tape made public on the internet today. ...

Adam Gadahn's real name is Adam Pearlman. Adam is the grandson of the late Carl K. Pearlman; a prominent Jewish urologist in Orange County. Carl was also a member of the board of directors of the Anti-Defamation League, which was caught spying on Americans for Israel in 1993, much as AIPAC has been caught up in the more recent spy scandal.

This story is already out, and it is impossible to stop it. Of course, we have started a usual smoke and mirrors operation, including that FBI leaflet that confuses the issue with all these Muslim-sounding names and that Gadahn's Muslim manifesto where he (purportedly) tells the story of becoming a Muslim and much more, thanks to one of the Hasbara tentacles named Michelle Malkin - she has done a sterling work on that story.

But the damage is already done. If that boy gets caught, being far from a genius (what with his brain irreversibly damaged by heavy metal), he will spill his guts, and where you are then? So we have decided to cut the losses. You are thus commanded to unglue the beard, to remove the towel and to proceed post-haste to the usual meeting point, where your next assignment will be expecting you. Take again a good look at the picture above - this is a free hint re your new assignment. You shall be allowed to make it a long one.

Please do not forget to take a shower somewhere on the route. We understand that this way was easier for you to blend in, but ten years are ten years, and there are some limits even for American Airlines.

And no, you are not allowed to bring that goat with you. Leave it to Al-Zawahiri, he is eyeing it for a long time already.

Your faithful
COO,
Elders HQ,
Somewhere

Cross-posted on Yourish.com