Iranian army parading into the future

I was captivated by the great set of pictures from the annual military parade in Tehran. A superb show of soldiers of all kinds, equipment, generals and whatnot. However, there still are a few flies in that ointment, and my friend Freddy the fashion designer offers some free advice to the Iranian army.

"To start with, the intention to do Lady Gaga is clear, and the wigs selected for the purpose are up to the schtick. However, the bathrobes are atrociously colored and clash with the whole ensemble. I would go for the clean no-frills look of the white Lacoste like this one:"

"I know a Chinese factory that does excellent knock-offs of this, and they will throw in the crocodile for free on a quantity order. This bathrobe will go famously with the Kalashnikov, although I would prefer the ones with black folding stock, of course. Now, the boys should be clean shaven and not wear any sunglasses to do a real good Lady Gaga - this is imperative!"

"Now, this is more like it, I would say. Soft lines, beautiful colors, protected heads - good stuff. However, the uniforms under the plastic shields are not in place. I think latex here. Yes, definitely latex, but not black - something more cheerful, like pink or, say, indigo. Mm... yes, rather indigo."

"Not bad at all, but the berets? Terrible, simply terrible... had they bought a French WW I warehouse? These must be  replaced. I would recommend red ones. Makes the boys more... manly, I would say, without reducing their attractiveness... Oh, and these sunglasses - clearly from some overstocked dealer. They are soooo eighties I am shocked. The sunglasses must go too."

At the sight of the above picture, Freddy burst into tears. No amount of consolation had any effect, and he had to be taken away for some restorative sleep, mumbling on the way about frightful colors, despicable styles and clashing background...

We too have a few words to say about the Iranian (and other) generals, but there will be another opportunity.