The Axis of the Foulmouthed

This is definitely a SNAFU on the side of our Signals department. The lazy no good bastards don't move their fat arses unless a 9.5 earthquake goes off right under their armchairs. And the usual attempt to console me "All the others missed it too..." doesn't work anymore, you hear, Zeev?

Right, we should have seen it coming, when that going places pissant Caudillo-to-be called José María Aznar a "fascist" and "less human than snakes", you know, that famous ¿Por qué no te callas? incident. But we have been too complacent, too lazy, looking at all these vaguely erotic (for some viewers) incidents with an indulging eye:




So what, our Signals dorks said. So some folks from the Axis of Not So Evil exchange spit and other bodily fluids with some folks from the Axis of Evil. What is the worst that could happen?

But we have missed the point where the usual "Big Satan", "Small Satan" terminology, approved by all parties, started to get sidelined by some new and, frankly, worrying outbursts. The words that were used were new, pointing at some sinister development, hitherto unheard of in the murky world of espionage and general mayhem. Of course, that "fascist" and "less human than snakes" were just test shots, as it became apparent quickly. Jewels like "You are a donkey, Mr George W Bush", "imperialist pawn" (for Blair), "little girl" (for Rice) and many others quickly followed.

As it happened, Hugo's buddy, Mahmoud the Mad, quickly followed with a series of expletives of his own. "The stinking corpse", "this filthy bacteria" came through quite quickly, followed by the "dead rat" (all three about Israel) , and quickly established the exalted status of Ahmydinnerjacket in this venue. Although it must be stated that Mahmoud still slips in here and there a sentence that could baffle the best in our cryptography department, such as the mysterious "Tehran is very expensive" uttering (who the fuck wants to buy Tehran?).

Anyway, it should have become clear then and there that we are witnessing the emergence of a new weapon of mass distraction and a new world power: The Axis of the Foulmouthed (TAF).

Recently the establishment of TAF was cemented and endorsed by the third, hitherto relatively quiet member, Mugabe:

You saw that little American girl [U. S. Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs Jendayi Frazer] trotting around the globe like a prostitute...

Well, something just has to be done about it. The free world is in clear and present danger. But calling upon some lily-livered limp-wristed wusses like CIA, Mossad or (forgive me for mentioning them in this context) MI5 would have been plainly an act of nincompoopery. A stronger remedy had to be found, and we have cut the red tape, approaching a certain bosun's mate of a US Navy frigate that shall remain unknown for a little while. The response was immediate and energetic. Due to the necessary secrecy and fear of revealing some strategic armaments before the time, we have censored it quite drastically:

What? This fu .......................................................... and ............................................ that ........................... fu ........................................................... mother ............................................... twice ..................................................................................... fu .................................................. I shall personally .............................................................................................................................. to it ............................................... mother ............................................................................... biggest ..................................................................................................................................... fu ...................................................................................... sister ............................................................................................................................................... face ....................................................................... ................................................................................... again ................................................................. assholes ..................................

(For the same security reasons even some censored patches had to be erased).

We think that we are on a firm enough ground to assure the free world that its fate is in good hands, as far as TAF is concerned, and that its citizens may rest assured that TAF's days are numbered.

Listen to the Navy radio for details.