08 January 2011

Mossad memo on Saudi Arabia catching Mossad vulture

From the desk of Meir D. aka The Chief

To: D. K.,
Head of UAV department
Date: .......
Subject: UAV of the kind "griffon vulture" falling in the enemy hands


I have only a few days left before my retirement. I expected these days to pass quietly, not to mar my leave nor besmirch my reputation. And what do I see this morning on BBC?
Saudi Arabian officials have "detained" a vulture on accusations of being a spy for Israel, media reports say. The griffon vulture was carrying a GPS transmitter bearing the name of Tel Aviv University, prompting rumours it was part of a Zionist plot.
Of course it is a Zionist plot, what do these dimbulbs of BBC expect? Of course it's our spying stratagem, clumsy and untested as it was. Time and again I warned you, D..., to back off this stupid idea of using a griffon, young and inexperienced at that, for intelligence gathering abroad. Even knowing that this is not a simple griffon but a genetically modified GriffonoYid, the risk was still too high, taking into account the luck of training.

And this is not all: not only have you dared to send an untrained GriffonoYid on a mission, you didn't even check his appearance before the take-off. It so happens, D..., that the said UAV went on a mission directly after the morning prayer session, without getting rid of his kippah first! And we have to learn it from foreign sources, compounding the insult to our organization:

Now heed this order, D...: I give you three days to get the GriffonoYid back, unharmed and healthy, his equipment included. No excuses. Or you will be feeding and training the ZioSharks in Eilat for the (short) remainder of your life, if it is my last deed as The Chief.

With no regards,



Andreas Moser said...

If this is symptomatic for Saudi thinking, you don’t have to wonder why no Nobel Prize has ever been awarded to a Saudi (while 9 Nobel Prizes have gone to Israel). But it rather adds to my worries about what will happen with Saudi Arabia once the oil reserves will have been depleted: http://andreasmoser.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/it-was-the-mossad-2/ 

Dick Stanley said...

Indeed, feeding the Ziosharks sounds risky.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yes, and since it was discovered that for the optimal dieting the person who feeds them must swim in the same pool, the feeder's life expectancy is somewhat diminished.

kipod5 said...

 I demand the Saudis show a public release of the bird. It is beyond stupid.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I've seen a short report on the bird. It appears to have been hatched and raised in a zoo as part of the recovery program. Very rare and endangered, of course.

David All said...

Well whatever the bird's controller did worked, the Saudis have announced they will release the vulture. Read "Israeli Vulture Spy Declared Innocent by Saudi Arabia" at http://abcnews.go.com/International/saudi-prince-clears-israeli-vulture-spy/story?id=12584216
(Hat tip to Hurry Up Harry)
PS: The kippah photoshopped on the vulture looks real good.  

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Thanks, David, for some good news on a day like this.