09 March 2014

Vladimir Vladimirovich, please liberate us!

This article was written by Roman Romanenko, a Russian journalist for Moscow's Echo*. Follows a Google translation, with a slight nudge or two from me.

Our address to V.V. Putin.

Dear Vladimir Vladimirovich,

We've learned that you want to send troops to the Crimea, to protect the rights of Russian-speaking population.

In this regard, we have a big request - to send troops to the Vologda. We're almost all Russian-speaking here and our very rights are infringed. Our sick can not get the drugs and treatment they need, the level of our education falls every year, kindergartens and children's enrichment sections are closing, agriculture is virtually destroyed. We all suffer.

And the usurpers, who seized power in fraudulent elections, do nothing for the subject population. They spend the money on themselves, on their PR, their offices, country houses, purchase of apartments and air charters.

We'll be very grateful and guarantee that there will be no guerrilla war against the liberators. Yes, and international sanctions, for sure, will not follow.

We have learned that you are going to spend a lot of money to normalize life in the Crimea. It is a bit embarrassing, but we have to ask whether it is possible to spend the money on the normalization of life in the Vologda. Because we are in such a debt hole that there is no money for anything. And we really need bridges, roads, sports facilities, industrial parks, new jobs ...

With respect and hope for liberation, Russian-speaking residents of the Vologda region.


By now, you may have already realized that this is (kind of) a spoof, because Vologda is one of the central provinces of Russia (click on the map below to embiggen).

However, while the request for troops is a sham, all the rest is not. Unfortunately.

(*) And the article may easily fall under the new draconian censorship law.

P.S. Citizen of Tver province came out with a similar call to Putin. No time for translation, but the idea is identical.