28 March 2014

Chinese smuggler haircut a la Kim the Fatso: for all North Korean men?

And you thought that our life doesn't have a place for individual expression of a genius. Here you are:

Men in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as their leader Kim Jong-un, it is reported.

The state-sanctioned guidelines were introduced in the capital Pyongyang about two weeks ago, media reports say. They are now being rolled out across the country - although some people have reservations about getting the look.
How about that:


I think that this measure doesn't go far enough. So here are a few creative ideas for the leader:

1. First of all, not only the haircut: the facial expression, as presented in the above picture, should become mandatory as well. Every loyal NK citizen should train to carry this expression at all times, eating, sleeping and making love to officially approved partner (according to officially approved technique) included.

Since some of the people are handicapped in regard of their haircut options (for example, baldies) and some people have other disfigurements, both the hair style and the expression may present a technical issue. To resolve these problems, after some observation of the fearsome and glorious Fatso Leader, I offer a revolutionary solution in the best tradition of Juche ideology:


Properly skinned and stretched, the face of that critter could be used as a mask for daily use, and its fur, cured and colored black, after a simple cutting will be indistinguishable from the dead animal on the head of the glorious Leader. Uniformity thus practically secured - forever or until further notice, whichever comes first.

2. Why is the measure restricted only to men?  Methinks, if women are made to carry the same face and head cover as described in par. 1, it will make the life in NK even better.

3. When all this is said and done: why doesn't the glorious creep take his haircut with him, crawl into some sewer, curl up there and die? I bet it will be the only good thing he has ever done.

Update: the BBC story appears to be a hoax. However, my proposal #3 stays in force.

16 comments:

Dick Stanley said...

He probably fears assassination and figures this will confuse 'em.

Dick Stanley said...

A joke for prudes.

Dick Stanley said...

You can tell by his hat he's already annexed a beaver.

Dick Stanley said...

Oh, boo hoo. The Sauds will have to raise the amount of their bribes now.

Charles G. Hill said...

I laughed. But then I'm not exactly a stereotypical Sixties free spirit, either.

Sennacherib said...

OMG, not Canada!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That is good thinking, Dick. I didn't grok this.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oh well, prudery is not all that bad ;-)

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That too. The tzars did that for him long ago, though.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Not a big deal for them. Another ten pennies for a barrel and voila!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Same here.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oh, there are scores and scores of Russians in Canada, and every single one clamoring for protection from the cruel regime of Her Majesty.

Dick Stanley said...

Well he has to go somewhere after Ukraine, Moldova and Alaska.

Dick Stanley said...

Strange, considering I'm probably 15 years older than either of you.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yes, and Canada is very similar to Northern Russia as far as climate and trees are concerned. They will take to it like fish to water...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Not a generation gap by any means. Same bracket.