The latest deluge of the articles on the UFO subject is focused on the uncanny knack of the E.T.s to disable the military nuclear installations all over the world. While the paraphernalia of the aliens continues to show the bewildering variety of shapes (saucer, fat cigar, triangle, even a orange or reddish pulsating oval-shaped object) and approaches, the main point in the latest articles was that the aliens can easily switch off whole launching sites, effectively disabling the mighty WMDs of nuclear nations.
Of course, everyone understands by now that it's not the usual "classic" foes:
Hastings said that because similar incidents had occurred in the Soviet Union - as attested to in declassified KGB files - it was not the Russians messing with us or us messing with the Russians.Even if there is an element of flippancy in this:
"We can also rule out the Samoans," he added.I wouldn't discard any suspect that quick, and Samoans should not be waived away in this manner too. However, due to the disturbingly high level of histrionics surrounding the nukes, the Elders have decided to come out with an explanation. No more Aliens ate my Pershing! headlines, please.
Yes, it is the Elders who meddled with your nukes, dear Americans, Brits, Russians, Chinese, French etc*. For many years we have checked (and rechecked again, as is the manner of our field operations dept.) our POND (POrtable Nuke Disabler) before it was concluded that it works as prescribed and can effectively destroy all known nuclear weapons without the operator moving his/her backside from his/her office in ...
Of course you may want to know why did we have to organize the whole megillah with flying saucers, triangles, cigars and whatnot. Why the crop circles, dripping molten metal and indentations in the forest? Why, in short, all the crapola that keeps Spielberg and many others busy for so many years and sells Prozac like there is no tomorrow?
Especially when the POND's size is about that of an iPod. Well, to start with - we needed some distraction. It certainly helps when the senior officer on duty gets several phone calls in his bunker from guards stationed on the surface, complaining about UFOs, while all nuclear missiles under his command are blinking out of existence...
And who will listen to him the next day, when half of his soldiers are on tranquilizers and the second half cannot agree whether the objects in the sky were circular, square and what kind of lights did they carry... Not to mention the crop circles. Really, let's not mention the crop circles - maybe the first two or three were fun, but after that it's a major pain in one's backside...
So, the whole UFO geschaft is being discarded by the Elders as of now. No more flying saucers, strange pulsating lights, no more audio-visual shows. And if you happen to see some strange object skulking around your neighborhood and lighting the sky in all kinds of ways, you better call the air force.
Like they care...
(*) The case of Andorran arsenal mentioned by Jams baffles us too, frankly. It could be our own installation of several thousand years ago, but what with the state of our archives and general laxity of records...
2 comments:
Oh dear me Snoopy you have been trapped in the web of obfuscation that the secret masters of the universe use to hide their true identities.
UFOs, those pesky bilderbergers and the like are the first line of obfuscation and will trap the regular tinfoil hatters with ease.
Sadly you have been trapped by the Elder's myth. Thereis no doubt that the Elders do fine work controlling in this part of the Galaxy but they are under the strict supervision of the Andorrans. Not a single Mossad micronuke is exploded woithout their expres permission!
Interestingly Samoa is a major Andorran outstation covering the Pacific sector...
Andorrans? Hmm...
And I was suspicious of Trinidad & Tobago for so many years.
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