An Iranian official says cigarettes smuggled into Iran have been tainted with pig blood and nuclear material as part of a Western conspiracy.
Official from Islamic Republic's anti-smoking society says company 'led by Zionists' deliberately exports contaminated Marlboros.
Abraham Zion Cohen, a deputy PR manager of Philip Morris International, responded:
Every cigarette produced by Philip Morris, passes stringent quality control by our employees, like the one depicted in this picture:
However, it is absurd to claim that our loyal and dedicated quality control personnel add their blood to the cigarettes. Re traces of radioactive material: why would we bother with such trifles, when... [at this point Mr Cohen was interrupted by a bout of coughing Ed.].
In related news:
Earthquake hits northeastern Iran, smoking pigs observed flying in the area.
5 comments:
Pshaw. A clear case of the mad mullahs trying to get the populace to quit. Probably hasn't cut into the mullah's consumption, of course.
Yeah, I guess it might work. I should try it on myself some time.
What fiendish plot will the Elders come up with next?!
You see what I mean now ;)
Besides that, it would be very reckless to import radioactive pig-blood cigarettes into Iran. The IRGC is piggy enough as it is without giving them mutation opportunities.
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