Swimming in strait of Oresund with testicle-biting Pacu fish? No way.

CNN was one of the first to sound the alarm on that Pacu story. Unfortunately, they have backpedaled, replacing the link with a retraction, which will be discussed later, so here is the gist from another source:

Pacu, a South American fish known to be related to the piranha, was found by fishermen in the Danish/Swedish strait of Oresund, according to the Natural History Museum of Denmark.

According to the museum, the Pacu's big teeth are not as pointy as the piranha's but they're certainly strong enough to sever fishing lines and fingers. And even though the fish is vegetarian it often confuses the male reproductive organs with its favorite snack, nuts.

So skinny-dipping in the strait of Oresund became a doubtful enterprise, apparently.

Coupled with this picture, the story even could give a man nightmares even when entering a jacuzzi. Common sense, though, says that (if you are not a Scandinavian man) skinny dipping in the strait of Oresund may have the same effect on a male swimmer as a ravenous Pacu. Taking into account the water temperature.

And then there is CNN. They have published a retraction, titled Warning over testicle-biting fish in Denmark? It's all wet. The retraction, however, leaves its reader with a feeling of a poorly veiled warning - or continued leg pulling. Consider this:

"We did say that we recommend men to keep their swimsuits tied up until we know if there are more pacus out there in our waters," Moller told CNN by e-mail. "Of course, this is half a joke since it is very unlikely that you would actually meet one here and that it would bite you. It's up to people themselves how careful they want to be. I'll keep my shorts on, though."

And see how does this one grab* you:

And unlike piranhas, which have rigid, razor-sharp interlocking teeth, pacus have teeth that resemble human molars and fit together in a similar bite, Fisk said. The pacus use those teeth to crush their food, not to rip it apart -- or off.

Clearly a man must be mightily relieved, knowing that his testicles are not going to be ripped off but only crushed instead. And of course, the parting admonition of the learned professor is a breath of fresh air:

"The story about the 'nuts' was never meant to be the headline. But it certainly got people's attention," Moller told CNN. "I'm sorry if it has caused you any trouble. It was a bit of a joke, but I still will keep my swimsuits tied up, and I will never swim in an aquarium with these fishes."

Oh well, the warning was anyway meant only for a small elite group of real men, the ones who will go skinny-dipping in the strait of Oresund.

So there. Take it easy, take a deep breath and remove you hands from your lap. 

(*) No pun was intended, it just happened this way, I swear.