04 September 2008

Is Barack Obama Jewish? That too, you bet!

That's it, ladies and gentlemen. The time for pussyfooting around is over. There is too little time left before honest citizens of USA wake up on that faithful morning, wash up, have their coffee with eggs, bacon and vitamins and go to vote. Everything must come out - the good, the bad, the warts and all.

But first of all, we have to thank our informer Waldo for his unwitting contribution - here.

With Obama having been revealed as a secret Muslim, a secret Buddhist *and* a secret Catholic, I'm betting he'll turn out to be the secret Jew too.
Says Waldo, and when Waldo says something even Elders sit up and listen. So we have decided to investigate. And the results are astonishing. Now it is no more a secret.

Yes, Obama is a Jew. During his visit to Israel he was easily converted*, we haven't even used the mind control rays. Look at this remarkable picture:

Sorry, it was a wrong, albeit similar one (the Elders' archive retrieval system sometimes acts funny like that). Let's try again:

What is more remarkable that the picture was taken before Obama visited Israel. His spiritual father, Rev. "God Damn America" Jeremiah Wright, insisted that Obama try on a yarmulke, to get used to the new religion. As you can see from the smiles on both faces, yarmulke settled on Obama just naturally.

Of course, there is a lot of supporting data that surfaced during our investigation. The skimpy official biography issued by Obama mentions that his father "was born and raised in a small village in Kenya, where he grew up herding goats with his own father", but it omits the fact that he belongs to the well known Jewish-African Lemba tribe. Obama's granddad in his advanced years even served in an exalted role of a Lemba high priest - Buba of the Lemba. And re Obama's mom - one look at the picture in this Wiki's entry will suffice - there is not need to read the drivel around it. And if you are still not satisfied - read it, but no farther than the mention of Mobil Corporation - we all know who stands behind it, after all.

But the crucial fact we want to make public now is that Obama, while being indeed a secret (not anymore) Jew is also a Muslim (enough proof of this is around, so we'll be not stopping here for more material), and a Christian - of all the uncountable Christian denominations. While Buddhism is not a religion (Waldo, with his penetrating mind, is a bit dense where education is concerned, to be frank), Obama is a fully developed Hindu. See the link to his Hyderabad shenanigans and that peculiar attention to Hyderabad voters.

The plot thickens, you may say. But this is only a start. As you all know, Obama is inordinately proud of his extensive travels all over the world. It is less known that during his journeys he was picking up all local religions, becoming an ardent follower of every one, big or small, that happened on his way.

And the reasoning behind this is simple, but superbly effective: Barack Hussein Obama wants to become the first multi-denominational POTUS in history. Indeed, he wants to become the first leader of a nation, most powerful one to boot, that is accepted by everyone everywhere.

And this is the real, hitherto hidden meaning of that insidious "Time for a change" slogan!

First America and than the whole world will be at his beck and call. Imagine UN under Obama's aegis - black helicopters roaming everywhere and the jackbooted blue helmets patrolling the streets in every city, every village, every hamlet on our planet. All that peacefully and to he common good, of course, so pipe down you warmongers!

New era is at hand, ladies and gentlemen. One of the benevolent worldwide leader, kind, caring and omni-attentive.

And lots of change. Free, unlimited and accessible.

Rejoice!

(*) In fact, in Obama's case we can't even call it a conversion. He just plugs in an additional religion that's all.