Caroline, Tzipi, Bibi, frustration...

Preface 1: I know that I have less chances to become a darling of Jerusalem Post than a snowball to survive in hell. So, let's have another go. What the heck, I mean?

Preface 2: I don't really care who of the current brood of pretenders to the PM chair wins. They are all looking kind of not there. Still, I would prefer to see a new face, and the two already used ones (Barak and Bibi) could do with more time on ice. Like another 50 or 60 years.

Now, I confess to liking Caroline (some have even suspected that I am falling in love, but really, let's be careful here, SWMBO is looking over my shoulder, OK?). She (Caroline, not SWMBO) is straight, in-your-face, no nonsense and passionate about her causes. What is there not to like?

Still, there is one subject where she kind of loses the... perspective. The political torch she is carrying for Bibi who languishes in the political limbo for too many years (at least Caroline thinks so) produces some special fumes that definitely have an impact. Easy to see in the latest Mrs. Clean is a Fraud article that starts with an immediate go at a knockout.

Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni may not be a crook, but she is a fraud. And if polls are to be believed, Livni the fraud is just one fraudulent election away from becoming our next prime minister.

Oh boy... I would have waited for the count of ten, I bet. Of course, if after the full count of ten I were able to move my jaws, I would have humbly inquired how is the alleged fraud Tzipi different from any other alleged fraud politician, without even mentioning any names. I don't even want to guess what the answer would have been. Probably an uppercut to finish the lower jaw off.

The expressed goal of Livni and her three opponents - Transportation Minister Shaul Mofaz, Public Security Minister Avi Dichter and Interior Minister Meir Sheetrit - is not to ready Kadima for elections, but to select a new prime minister who will form a governing coalition that will bar the public from electing its representatives until March 2010.

If the uppercut hadn't finished me, I would have tried to master the scant remainders of my strength to ask again how is Tzipi different in this from any other politico. I mean, if the chair could be reached without the drudge, expense and uncertainty* of the elections, why rock the boat? Would any other aspiring pretender to the throne behaved otherwise? Come on...

Besides, it's so clear who is meant in that "electing its representatives" thingy. Really, Caroline, he can wait for another year or so. After all, we all agree that no matter who it is that Kadima chooses to form the new government, that government is practically a goner. One year, no more. Surely the Man could wait that long?

Well, the two quotes used more or less summarize the main thrust of that piece. And the rest of it says that:

• Tzipi uses vote contractors to sign up blocs of voters on her behalf. Nah - she is the first, I bet! Mr B never...
  
• Tzipi will divide Jerusalem (this one is as old as Shimon Peres, and he is old!)
• Tzipi concocted a detailed fraud to compel her Likud colleagues Binyamin Netanyahu**, Limor Livnat and Silvan Shalom to vote in favor of Sharon's bid to withdraw from Gaza and northern Samaria and expel all Jews from the areas. Wow! A politico who decieves - that's a new one, surely!
• Tzipi caused "thousands of protesters were illegally arrested and held in jails for weeks at a time without charges being brought against them". A budding tyrant on top of all.

Well, what can I say, besides quoting Lenin: "They frighten us but we are not scared"? Or whatever. Anyhow, if this is the whole file Caroline can drop on Tzipi, we are in a relatively good shape. Compared to the other alternatives, I mean. And I am not going to start dive-bombing Mr. B like an irate gull, it is too boring by now. Like bombing a football field, as far as your chances to miss are concerned.

Just suggesting that this torch is smoking somewhat awful. Really. Time to give it a good cleaning or change it.

Nah, folks, sometimes frustration is just too funny. That's all.

(*) There isn't any uncertainty, in fact. With the current roster of run-ups and the electorate's short memory, Mr. B is a hands down favorite.

(**) In praise of Caroline, I have to say that she mentions Mr B. only once in the article. Cool!

Last minute update: Just when I promised not to dive-bomb Bibi, he comes out with another blooper that is impossible to pass over. In his TV appearances of Sep 16 (notice the date) he compared Kadima fiscal leadership with Lehman Brothers' crash, beating self on chest and claiming that he warned repeatedly about the financial "tsunami" coming.

The man's megalomania is certainly of Galactic proportions.