Patrick West - who does he think he is?

I don't even pretend to know the answer to this question, not knowing much about that Patrick West character.

But he is surprisingly open about himself and his views, so one article is sufficient to come to some quite firm conclusions. Where do we start? Here:

But how many more times must we be told that the Nazis weren’t very keen on Jews? Why not have a documentary on the Pope not being a Protestant? Or on ursine bowel movements in arboreal regions? It’s been told time and time again.

It appears Pat (may I call him Pat?) here is being force fed Holocaust stories. Apparently he knows it all. Quite surprising, taking into account that only about 20% of British youngsters are able to recall who (what) Hitler was and what that WW II was about. But OK, let's move on. Immediately after this string of questions quoted above, Pat hurries up to prove he is not anti-Jewish. And he does it in a mighty original way:

I’m not anti-Jewish. In fact, I am exactly the opposite. I’m very pro-Israeli, because I think the Jews are a nation of geniuses. You can always spot a loser in life if he is anti-Semitic. This is the politics of envy. Hitler hated the Jews because he thought they were clever; the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche loved the Jews because he thought they were clever. Hitler, the über-anti-Semite, was an über-loser. Never trust anyone who hates Jews.

Let me see now (the quote above looks like some small furry creature that got entangled in its own snot, so excuse me - it takes an effort). Uhu, I start grokking it - Pat is not pro-Israeli or pro-Jewish because Pat is against bigotry, racism or some such tearful sentiment. He is just loath to become a loser. Or worse - an über-loser. I really can't fault the man's logic. I mean, we are all rational, cool-headed people, aren't we now?

But Holocaust stories have become very tiresome...

So the man is tired. It's only human to be tired of all these Jooz trying to force you to watch these endless Holocaust flicks. I can live with it. Really. After all, Pat already told you in so many words that he is overfed and knows it all.

But my agreement at this early point is not enough for Pat, apparently, since he continues to open the darkest family closets:

All families have skeletons in their closets. My direct paternal ancestor was Lord North (yes, the surname is no joke), the incompetent prime minister who lost Britain the War of Independence against the American colonies. My grandfather Douglas West was features editor of the Daily Mail in the 1930s, where he championed Mosley’s fascist Black Shirts. My maternal grandparents in Dublin used to host dinner parties for the German ambassador in the 1940s.

Wow, you would say. Wow... enough, man, really. It is irrelevant, you are another, newer apple and there are no trees around you, just leave it alone... But he is relentless. And unstoppable. And he gives more:

But then again, my mother was a leading feminist in Ireland in the 1960s who brought condoms from Belfast to Dublin, and my father was a veteran journalist in Vietnam at the same time and was one of the first to say that the US campaign there was actually correct. He was also one of the very last journalists to leave Saigon before the final US retreat in 1975.

That was enough, Pat. Hold the horses - right there in the mighty stream of your closets' contents, hides a small tidbit that explains it all, I'll repeat it:

But then again, my mother was a leading feminist in Ireland in the 1960s who brought condoms from Belfast to Dublin...

See, boyo, now, thanks to your openness, I can answer the question I have put in the title of this post: you are one tiny mistake you mom made when she brought over one condom less than it was necessary.

Too bad.

Hat tip: Graeme of DSTPFW.