Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey vs FUKUS

Today I felt a need to refresh my knowledge about the life and tribulations of Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey, a man of many talents I have had an opportunity to mention several times.  Characters like Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey* are in short supply, and ignoring him for too long just wouldn't do.

And I was happy to discover that my timing was right. Apparently, Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey has recently coined a new term, hitherto unknown to connoisseurs of acronyms. It is FUKUS, which is supposed to mean France, UK and US or, as he puts it in the long form "the two ex-colonial powers the UK and France and their former colony(ies), the USA". In other cases, when he is especially irked (probably by stale food in the Pravda's canteen),  he adds the Little Satan to the trio.

I don't want to inquire how exactly this acronym is pronounced by Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey, but I am confident you are able to make an educated guess. Anyway, I like the acronym and probably will adopt it for some cases.    

What else is new with Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey? First of all, his style - never stable or easily readable to start with - became even more indicative of his tendency to histrionics, unbridled by judicious use of tranquilizers. An image of a rattlesnake trying to excrete several razorblades comes to mind. Nothing could alleviate Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey's passionate hate of the dreaded FUKUS. His Pravda patrons could rest assured, knowing that they have such a loyal sentinel at their beck and call.

Another important development in creative life of Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey is his newly discovered love of long sentences. Observe the example from the above linked piece (where he is especially irked):

Iraq provided a telling preview of what was to come - the wanton breach of international treaties, charters, covenants, resolutions and promises, the targeting of civilian structures with military hardware to then dole out rebuilding contracts, the purposeful theft of resources and historical artefacts, the opening of the concentration camps and the holding of detainees without due legal process, the torture, the sodomy, the urinating in food, the urinating on prisoners... these demonic acts - not one-off breaches by rogue elements but rather, an integral part of policy (water boarding, for instance) - alerted some of us as to the true nature of the FUKUS-Axis (France, UK, US and Israel) and showed us quite how low they can stoop.

I can only imagine the size of his lungs: try to shout the whole quote without stopping for breath and you shall see. I hope you don't doubt that this sentence is written to be shouted, do you?  Oh, and doesn't its rhythm remind you this:



As for the last paragraph of this article, where Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey got tired, most probably losing his breath after all that shouting:

This is the two-tier international community in which we live - a bunch of criminals and those who look on and mutter things about respect for the law. How sickened I feel to belong to the human species at this moment in time.

I would surely want to calm him down a bit: since there are a lot of people who think that Timothy Bancroft-Hinchey doesn't really exist, being a figment of some Russian prankster's imagination, that issue of belonging to human species is highly hypothetical anyway.

So there...

(*) After contemplating the question of the double-barreled name and its possible replacement by an acronym, I came to a conclusion that I can't do it. This name has a life of its own. Unlike its owner.