Pissing on your mobile - it is a coming thing

The most common act one associates with one's mobile phone is usually to throw it somewhere hard enough to make it hurt. Sometimes it is a long throw, when a body of water is helpfully nearby, sometimes it's (more satisfying, in my opinion) a short one, usually against a conveniently placed stone, with subsequent flying of debris in all direction. Well, you know how it goes if you watch enough movies.

Science, though, doesn't ever stop, and very soon you will be not only welcome, but even encouraged to do more to your phone than you've ever dreamed. This scientific breakthrough will change our energy consumption, social habits and even our vocabulary.

Scientists working at the Bristol Robotics Laboratory, which is a collaboration between the University of the West of England (UWE Bristol) and the University of Bristol, have developed a novel way of charging mobile phones using urine as the power source to generate electricity.

If you watched the clip above, you may have noticed the dark coloring of the urine. It may be an indication of some illness, deity forbid, but most probably Dr. Ieropoulos needs more intake of fluids. Beer would be a natural suggestion, taking the location into account. But it is a side issue, let's focus instead on the future.

First of all, the thorny issue of charging. There are so many people who simply forget to stick their charger into the wall outlet on one side and into their phone on the other before going to bed. And then they leave the charger at home, discovering too late that the phone battery is on its last legs. Well, easily remedied now. Just drink enough water, and hey presto! Of course, for now the charge you are going to get from a normal dose of urine is not much:

So far the microbial fuel power stack that we have developed generates enough power to enable SMS messaging, web browsing and to make a brief phone call.

So don't be surprised if in the middle of a long phone call you hear a gargling noise on the line.

For now (see the clip) the installation needed for recharging is still too bulky, but I am sure that very soon miniaturization will strike at this problem, and the new generations of the smartphones will be equipped with a recharging device and the receptor of your urine. Or anyone else's urine, for that matter.

Surely that resolves the issue of charging your smartphone and other electronic devices during a long hike in the desert. If you have a good sized camel with you and allow it to take enough water on board before leaving, the charging issue will be resolved for the duration of your trip. Ten camels or so might well be able to provide your tent with air conditioning.

Yes, miniaturization is the key, and this prediction from the article looks too pedestrian:

The scientists believe that the technology has the future potential to be installed into domestic bathrooms to harness the urine and produce sufficient electricity to power showers, lighting or razors as well as mobile phones.

I am not going to expand on the powering of one's shower, only mention that here is an example of a shower activity, hitherto considered a foul misdeed, becoming an environmentally correct one now. Which, of course, brings us to the question of our social habits and inhibitions.

I am certain that the importance, the urgency that we attach to our ability to use our smartphones, the need to stay connected to our networks will trump the ancient and somewhat prudish rules we have developed regarding the natural and necessary process of urination. First of all, the term "urination" itself will be eradicated, replaced by "recharging", of course. And recharging will not be confined anymore to the small, frequently unhygienic enclosures euphemistically called "restrooms" (who ever really rested in one of those, I would like to know?). No, this will be done publicly and, due to the above mentioned urgency (one can't stop one's Tweeter or Facebook discussion flow, of course, no more than one could stop... oh well) - openly.

Of course, people of female persuasion will ask - and what about us? No worries, the solution is staring in our faces. In short: no more abruptly ending phone calls, no more boring meetings when you can't use your Facebook to entertain yourself, no more hanging off a cliff without the ability to call 911 because there is no place to stick your charger into or because you left your charger at home.

And why stop with our earthly activities? What about exploration of the universe? Isn't the scarcity of the energy sources out there in the emptiness a concern to be resolved? Nothing could be easier than to equip the astronaut's space suit with an energy converter, thus resolving the battery issue. I can see where the recycled liquid will provide the astronaut with electricity for the many suit's devices, breathing air, drinking water etc. Of course, some new ways to provide more liquid input should be developed, to avoid a dire situation like this:

But I am more than certain that our scientists will get on it directly.

There is also a hopeful message for the teetotalers: where urine recharging liquid, as a low energy source, will provide only a limited charge, beer must be a more potent source of energy for our devices and other energy needs, and the jolt our phones will get from a small dose of whisky, vodka or cognac will be hundredfold compared to the regular recharging liquid. So we can count on the new way of charging to have a positive effect on our drinkers too.

As for our solid waste... one can only dream now about the benefits this high energy material may have on our energy consumption patterns. Imagine your car being switched from petrol to this inexhaustible source. The sky is the limit then. Actually the sky will not be the limit, in fact - see the space exploration item above. But of course, we have to resolve the olfactory side of this way of recycling first... still, let's be hopeful.

Per aspera ad astra! Or, converted: Through hardships to the stars!

Via Francis Sedgemore.