13 July 2013

Kenneth Enslow might be watching you, so check your septic tank!

This story might be a delight for a horror novel writer, but I prefer to focus on the funny aspects.

Kenneth Enslow, 52, was discovered by a 7-year-old girl and her mother at about 5pm Sunday when the two went to use the bathroom at a park near Tulsa, OK, heard coughing and saw him looking up at them, according to officials.

The two fled the bathroom and called the authorities, who ended up having to fish the peeping Tom out.

By the time officials arrived, Enslow was ‘standing with his head and shoulders out of the hole… covered in feces,’ according to an arrest report filed by the Tulsa County Sheriff’s office.

The fire department helped the unemployed degenerate out of the cesspool using rope and hosed him off, literally, with the fire hose, the report said.
Just to make sure you recognize the species when you see it, a mug shot of the perp (perv?):

There is only one circumstance that might mitigate Mr Enslow's charges:
Enslow first claimed that he was hit over the head with a tire iron, tossed in the back of a 1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo and dumped there by his girlfriend Angel, according to the report. Enslow claimed he did not ask for help because he was unconscious.
1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo is not something one would invent off the top of one's head, not in year 2013, I have to say...

Anyway, PETA may want to get involved. Like, for instance, get a septic tank, filled with the usual contents, in a safe location for use by Mr Enslow. And organize a feeding place for him. Unless it's not necessary, of course, in the circumstances...

Oh, and a few PETA volunteers to moon Mr Enslow from time to time. After all, isn't that what they are doing to us to fairly frequently? So there.


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Well, you have to admit that's real dedication for a peeper. Let's give him a gold star for persistence.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Or a brown one.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Had to be a Chevy owner.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Must have been.