05 January 2012

A solution to Austria's blonde jokes crisis

Please no smiles. Not for a while, at least not before you read this and the solution I have found to the whole issue:

Heard the one about the blonde in Austria? Well from tomorrow it will be a criminal offence if you have – and that’s no joke. The country has outlawed gags about blondes as part of the fight against terrorism. Officials fear that ­marginalised blondes – furious at being portrayed as stupid – could take revenge on society.
And heed this part particularly:
Offenders could be sentenced to two years’ jail.
Of course the image of a potential fair-haired terrorist strikes... well, terror in one's heart. Surely you don't want to see one of them cleaning a dirty bomb in your vicinity. Still, the world must continue turning around and people have to tell jokes. So, in order to circumvent this draconian law, I propose to identify the above mentioned segment of the population as Potential Austrian Terrorists™ or, for the sake of brevity, PATs™. Here are a few (truncated) examples that will show you the wisdom of this solution:

A PAT™ walks into a mosque and says to the muezzin... 

A PAT™ goes to an Apple store and buys an iPod...

A PAT™ stops at a gas station and asks the attendant to check her oil level...

I hope y'all are convinced now.

And I have a similar solution for when they will forbid jokes about politicians. I guess it will be needed fairly soon. 

14 comments:

David Gerstman said...

A PAT knocks on a man's door and offers to do odd jobs around the house ...
http://www.jokes.com/funny/blonde/blonde-paints-a-porch

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oy vey...

Pisa said...

Not enough that jokes are being made about stupid blondes, now same blondes are officially expected to act stupid. I find the law far more insulting than any blonde joke ever.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Hm... not belonging to the category, I don't have anything of value to contribute.

Shaun Downey (Jams O Donnell) said...

Work this one out: How do you get a blonde to save Nick Griffin from drowning?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Give her a weight of iron to throw at him?

Shaun Downey (Jams O Donnell) said...

Was thinking "Don't know, don't care!"

KatieNorcross said...

This will definitely limit the number of comedians in the nation.  And I do believe under this law the film "Legally Blond" and its sequels will be banned.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That too.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Since it says "Legally", the blondes in the government may still allow it ;-)

Dick Stanley said...

Hey, I thought Austrian was a language. According to President Obozo, anyhow.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Did he say it? OK, his next step is Mexican language then...

David All said...

Will this mean that there can be no more jokes about Austrians unless they are part of the non-blonde minority?

Have to pass this on to my friend who is always making jokes about dumb blondes.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I would think so. After all, Austrians can always complain to ICC, and you will become an international criminal liable to be extradited to Austria.