27 February 2014

Russia will not be enslaved!

Yeah, the normal services will be resumed shortly. Meanwhile, a translation of a short Russian missive that will allow you to grasp the complexity and mystery of that life.

A Russian wakes up in the morning. He brushes his teeth with an American toothbrush using German toothpaste. He shaves with American razor, washes up with French soap and puts on Bulgarian aftershave gel. After boiling water in a Swedish kettle, he drinks Brazilian coffee, puts on an Italian suit and lightly scents self with some French cologne. Locking his door with two British locks, he gets into his Korean car (purchased on credit) and switches on his Japanese radio, selecting Europe+ station. It is broadcasting English pop.

He drives into the city, maneuvering between Russian potholes and bumps on the road, cursing in Russian, stopping on the way at McDonald's drive-in for a Big Tasty and a coke. Eventually he reaches his destination and parks in his office's guarded parking lot, protected by Swiss CCTV and Canadian alarm system.

He goes up to the office floor in a Finnish elevator, enters his office (with a sign saying "Merchandizing department"), switches on his IBM computer with Microsoft operating system, gets on the Internet (created by Americans) and enters (in English) the URL of an American social networking application. He opens his (free) account and posts a message:

"WE"LL NOT LET THE WEST ENSLAVE RUSSIA!!!"

Afterword: most of the items mentioned in the text above are manufactured in China these days, but don't let this technical detail mix you up...

6 comments:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Where ever they are these days, the xenophobes have been outgunned, surrounded and converted. Resistance is futile.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Absolutely, with helpful assistance of Chinese industry and Chinese people who produce more and more not totally necessary stuff for us all.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Not that Russia will give up, of course. They'll save themselves from being "enslaved" by enslaving Ukraine, instead.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That will be a nice morale booster for a few weeks.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Russians better hope that all these gadgets are made in China if Putin goes ahead and gobbles up all or part of Ukraine. The economic sanctions that the West will put on Russia if it does will pretty much shrink East-West trade back to that of the Cold War 80s.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Methinks that Crimea is going to end up back with Russians. And I strongly suspect that it is Russia with its gas pipes to Europe who could pretty much choke the Western Europe economically.