The little Russian drill that rocked the world

Of course calling the drill that has reached through 3,768 meters of ice to the Antarctic sub-glacial lake Vostok "little" is an understatement. After all, the drill didn't damage the Earth axis. But, compared to its size, it surely has shaken our fundamental beliefs.

After decades of drilling, Russian scientists have finally managed to pierce through Antarctica’s ice sheet to reveal the secrets of a unique sub-glacial lake, Vostok, that has been sealed there for the past 20 million years, a scientific source said on Monday.

And I don't mean all manner of prehistoric creatures that will be gradually raised from the lake to shock and awe many a modern biologist.

What I have in mind is the Truth. To start with, the Russian (RIA Novosti) article linked above begins with a lie, i.e. "After decades of drilling" means diddly squat. Russians are futzing around Antarctica for decades indeed, and they have decided to go public only after all the Nazi goodies they could put their grubby mitts on were safely transported to a secret location near a village Chugueva* (Siberia, Russia).

And the article doesn't completely succeed to gloss over the Truth. Notice the gleeful reference:

With the current events happening at Lake Vostok, an old theory saying that German Nazis may have built a secret base there as early as the 1930s, has resurfaced.

It is thought that towards the end of the Second World War, the Nazis moved to the South Pole and started constructing a base at Lake Vostok. In 1943, Grand Admiral Karl Dontiz was quoted saying “Germany's submarine fleet is proud that it created an unassailable fortress for the Fuehrer on the other end of the world,” in Antarctica.

According to German naval archives, months after Germany surrendered to the Allies in April, 1945, the German submarine U-530 arrived at the South Pole from the Port of Kiel. Crewmembers constructed an ice cave and supposedly stored several boxes of relics from the Third Reich, including Hitler’s secret files.

It is also rumored that later the submarine U-977 delivered the remains of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun to Antarctica for DNA cloning purposes.

Surely you have discerned that smirking style: "It is thought...", "According to German archives", "It is also rumored" etc. Rumored my foot! Of course, existence of the Nazi base was suspected by many and for a fairly long time. But only now we have the real truth. And real proof.

Obviously the Elders' machine wasn't totally indifferent to the fate of the Nazi memorabilia in Russian hands, and our operatives were reporting all the time from the Chugueva environs. Here is a brief of our findings, in order of importance.

Remains of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun were indeed delivered to Antarctica, only to be retrieved by the Russians and brought to Chugueva for processing. Deity only knows why Russians decided they need the dreck. Here you can see a Hitler's DNA sample being taken for cloning and incubation:

However, the cryogenic device used for preserving the Hitler's stiff was damaged (either on the long trek to Antarctica or later), and the only organ that Russian eggheads have succeeded to re-grow was the mustache:

Aside of possibly being a collector's item (surely to find its way to the rumored Putin's collection of similar relics), it's hard to see the benefits from this part of the deal.

It is different with Eva Broun. Look at the picture of the original:

Everyone who have visited Russia during the last thirty years must have encountered one or more of hauntingly similar ladies, all about 65 to 70 years old, all being virgins and, in addition, great-aunts of a few adorable babies whom they mercilessly pinch on the cheek***, disregarding the consequent baby's wailing. The reason for proliferation of Eva Braun clones is that the lab that was in charge of cloning was forgotten, administratively speaking, during Perestroika times and no one issued an order to cease production.

To save some work and to preserve the identities of our agents in place, I shall use further in this document some of (our own) information, compiled by a site that calls itself Godlike Productions. Their version of reporting is titled:

Russia Admits NAZI UFO BASE IN ANTARCTICA, CONFIRMED BY GOOGLE EARTH TOO

(I solemnly swear that the upper case use in the title is reproduced by me faithfully.)

To start with, the author succeeded to put his hands on a rare map of Antarctic:

If this unique map doesn't prove to you that both Nazi secret base and UFOs are real, I don't know what possibly could. But of course, there is plenty of supporting documentation. Like the photo of the Nazi flying saucer's drawing:

The text on the above photo was blurred by the Elders on purpose. Otherwise the unbelievable simplicity of the saucer, invented by one Victor Shauberger, could have caused a saucer or several being built in everyone's back yard****. And here is the said Victor Shauberger with a less secret part of his revolutionary still engine.

(In fact, it could have be some other Nazi scientist, but as an illustration it will definitely have to do). And now to the secret Nazi base. Here it comes:

You can see above a Bismark - class UFO being serviced by its ground crew (or, rather, sub-glacial crew, since the base was hidden under the above mentioned 3,768 meters of ice on the lake Vostok's shore).

On the next photo you can see a smaller Nazi UFO over a Norway fjord.

It was obviously on a supply mission, since Nazi moguls were partial to the Northern seas fish.

And, of course, we cannot finish the report without mentioning the heinous bloodthirsty attack upon the Admiral Byrd's Operation Highjump ships, described so vividly in that article.

The armed to the teeth UFO is going to make short work of the American cruiser, as could be clearly seen in that snapshot. 

And, after all you have seen and read by now, it must be also clear to you that making this kind of information public could be dangerous. It is no wonder that the fate of the author of that article with upper case affliction is rather questionable by now. Judge by yourself:

Account terminated... by the same Google what hides the evidence of the Nazi base. So, you have seen some of the Truth - exactly what you were allowed to. Now go to sleep and try to forget it - until further notice.

And take care out there, lest a UFO makes an unannounced twilight visit.


Remarks

(*) Chugueva is that godforsaken place that nobody ever visits, nobody thinks about or mentions** and, no matter what manner of mayhem you create around it, no one will ever be interested in it. Even the watchful spy satellites close their lenses when overflying the place. Anyway, you are welcome to look it up on Google Maps. Tell me if you notice something around it... no? Why I am not surprised?

(**) Aside of an ancient and unprintable Russian quatrain, that is.

(***)  In reality the cheek-pinching is attributed to the original E.B.'s compulsive checking whether the baby's skin is already tough enough to be harvested for production of handcrafted lampshades, wallets and other goodies.

(****) If you don't have a back yard, don't come here with complaints. Go and occupy yourself one, you know how it is done by now. If not - too bad.