25 September 2010

Ebra and you

Ebra is a revolutionary new product that, while unable to prevent Chernobyl, will make your presence in the place more pleasurable.

Caught in a disaster? You'd better hope you're wearing the Emergency Bra. Simply unsnap the bright red bra, separate the cups, and slip it over your head -- one cup for you, and one for your friend.


As for situation Ebra places us (the men) in: a lonely man is definitely a sitting duck for a terrorist, a volcano, a nuclear facility going... nuclear or another calamity of natural or human origins. So, first of all, we should make sure not to be lonely. As the Ebra site says:
The goal of any emergency respiratory device is to achieve tight fixation and full coverage.
Thankfully, most of the healthy men are born with the necessary fixation. What is left - to find a female partner that uses an Ebra of sufficient size - for full coverage.

And - voila!

P.S. I hope that, while working on the Ebra, the inventor also resolved the issue of a quick (emergency) release button. Men are demanding this one for almost a millennium...