31 December 2007

Iranian PR : People's Cube 0 : 1

Why don't Israeli soldiers rape Palestinian women?

It appears that I have missed a huge brouhaha lately.

A research paper that won a Hebrew University teachers' committee prize finds that the lack of IDF rapes of Palestinian women is designed to serve a political purpose.

The abstract of the paper, authored by doctoral candidate Tal Nitzan, notes that the paper shows that "the lack of organized military rape is an alternate way of realizing [particular] political goals."
You can guess that all them pro-Israeli bloggers jumped on the poor Tal as proverbial flies on the proverbial... no, this is not the metaphor I need... well, let's say they have just jumped on her and not in order to rape the poor aspiring doctoral candidate in sociology.

Now it is up to me, I am afraid, to straighten the pro-Israeli side in the dispute. Because you happen to be wrong, ladies and gentlemen!

So, our doctor-to-be claims that our soldiers don't rape Palestinian women because of a political/racial imperative, which is apparently very simple: the fear that the offspring of this union will not be recognized as Jewish.

The other (pro-Israeli) side claims that the soldiers don't rape for the following reasons (different reasons from different sources):

  • Moral probity
  • Coming from a culture that forbids and condemns rape
  • Being under strict orders and fearing a possible court martial on the spot
  • Etc.
Of course, such preposterous claims could come only from the members of academy who have never observed an IDF soldier in his natural environment. It is widely known that the moment an Israeli dons the uniform, he immediately transforms into a hungry, horny and cruel creature whose ability to rape the defenseless population is matched only by his blood thirst. And don't make me laugh with your funny court martial. The only possible court martial for an IDF soldier could be caused by him raping the brigade commander's secretary (keep dreaming, soldier...)

And of course, Tal Nitzan is absolutely right: the only thing that could stop this frenzied rapist a fraction of a second before the dastardly deed is carried out and, indeed, make him totally disabled (from this specific point of view, we mean) is the thought about the consequences. Indeed, only the knowledge that the fruit of his loins will be considered an Arab is sufficient to deny the colonizer and oppressor the mere ability to reach this ultimate pleasure.

So cool down, please.

Now, I don't want to be blamed for purely destructive criticism. This wasn't the purpose of my post. In fact, to satisfy Dr Nitzan on one hand and the pro-Israeli crowd on the other, I have a proposal that will create a bridge between the warring sides. Since in that research something named "organized military rape" was mentioned, it gave me the idea.

From now on military rape will become organized indeed. Every soldier in the field will be accompanied by an Orthodox Rabbi. The rabbi will guide the soldier to the most desirable object of the next rape, assist him in the execution of the said act and perform a special short military ceremony converting the freshly raped person into Judaism. The said ceremony* to be developed by the Chief IDF Rabbi without undue delay.

Clearly this measure will have a lot of positive effects:
  • A solution for the precarious demographic balance in the region
  • An increased motivation to serve and lowered frustration level of IDF soldiers
  • Compliance of the new IDF with Dr Nitzan' thesis = calm in the academic circles and, eventually:
  • Expedited peaceful solution of the Israeli/Palestinian crisis (after all, it is said "Make love not war")
  • The last, but not the least - drastic reduction in frequency of sexual offenses in Israel
To be carried out immediately - by the authority of the Elders.

(*) A special version of the conversion ceremony to be developed for the adherents of the Conservative and Reformist fractions each in short order.

(**) I have really read (part of) the learned opus by Tal Nitzan. Being schooled in precise sciences, I wonder more and more what kind of "research" is being done by some branches of science at the expense of the tax payer. The paper, while not as bad as the linked above INN article is trying to show, is full of pseudo-scientific jargon to the brim and is hardly readable by a normal person. Well, I guess, this is the purpose of people who are in need of a degree... However, the quote by INN, while taken out of context, is precise. And mind-boggling.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

This really got my goat

Or, rather, my cow, which I don't have. Anyway, you be the judge of this:

Hundreds of Hindus are to protest outside the RSPCA headquarters at the slaughter of a sick sacred cow at their temple while they were at worship. The RSPCA was accused of secretly killing Gangotri, a 13-year-old Belgian blue-jersey cross, by lethal injection at Bhaktivedanta Manor in Hertfordshire.
This is the truth according to RSCPA:
In a statement, the RSPCA said: "We knew the cow has been suffering from painful and infected sores, her limbs had become wasted and her breathing difficult. Three separate vets, including from the Royal College of Vets, from Defra and an independent vet, have all agreed that the animal was suffering and should be immediately euthanised."
Do you know what, dear cow lovers - take this:

And pipe down...

Sara Jane Moore is free

There is a lot of numbers in this article, one can get a headache reading it.

But is she still a good shot at 77?

30 December 2007

On Bilawal Zardari: Lair cuts to the chase

In his post Dynasty.

Hear, hear!

Israel's desire to be raped and editor's wet dreams

According to JP (gleeful of course) report, Ha'aretz editor David Landau is definitely in a wrong line of work. For two reasons at least: he cannot help venting his personal frustrations in public and, secondly, with his deep penetrating analysis of subconscious sexual desires of whole states he is missing his real calling - that of a sex therapist.

Ha'aretz editor David Landau told US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice at a recent private dinner that Israel "wants to be raped by the US" and needed more vigorous American intervention to resolve Middle East conflicts, according to a report in the New York Jewish Week.
This astute diagnosis is not all, Mr Landau apparently suffers from a streak of voyeurism as well:
Landau reportedly "implored Rice to intervene, asserting that the Israeli government wanted 'to be raped' and that it would be like a 'wet dream' for him to see this happen."
Mr Landau himself denies the voyeurism charge:
"I told [Rice] that it had always been my wet dream to address the secretary of state" on this critical issue, Landau told the Jewish Week.
It seems that diplomatic skills acquired by Ms Rice served her well through that encounter with a sexually charged Mr Landau.
Rice was "fantastic" and "completely unfazed" by his comments, he said, and remained "urbane and diplomatic."
Probably helped him out with a napkin after the fulfillment of that dream too...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

The most grisly discovery of the year

No, dear Fox News editors, this is not the news item I would look for to sweeten my entrance into the new year 2008:

  • Sweet Discovery

    Woman whose diamond ring vanished while she made fudge for bake sale turns up inside piece of the candy she sold

I think Houdini will be proud of that feat of self-baking.

Still, it must be some piece of candy...

For documentation purposes:

29 December 2007

Misr Digital / Wael Abbas down again - true of false?

According to this post, the account of Egyptian anti-torture activist Wael Abbas is removed by YouTube again. The previous closure of the account and removal of the clips showing police violence in Egypt caused an uproar and as a result YouTube backed off and restored the account and the video clips. You can see more about it at The Big Pharao's place.

However, trying the Misr Digital's account on Youtube right now and his blog, I cannot see anything wrong.

Is this a hoax or a true story?

Ron Paul and the evolution theory

It appears that the former doesn't want anything in common with the latter.

I start to wonder whether some of the presidential candidates have anything in common with evolution at all? Or, maybe,...

How did Pakistan's Bhutto die and why is it so important?

The body is still warm, so to say, but the conspiracy theory brigade is already up in arms. And as usual, the ghouls start from the grisly details.

Conflicting reports about what caused the death of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto are fueling questions about the circumstances of her assassination.
It is as if the question of how the fatal wound was caused changes the basic facts. And indeed in a few more days we'll see more and more of that nonsense, ending somewhere in the rarefied strata of high-tech assassination methods involving CIA, Mossad and the other usual suspects.

It is not as if the fate of a large nuclear armed nation were at stake and it is not as if another country were in danger of falling under influence of Islamic fundies. No, what is all important to the ghouls is whether it was a bullet or a sunroof lever...

Meanwhile, some new information about the possible Al Qaeda involvement (via its Taleban comrades) is coming up:
The Pakistani government has directly implicated the commander of newly created Movement of the Taliban in Pakistan, or Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan, in the assassination of Benazir Bhutto. Interior Ministry spokesman Javed Iqbal Cheema claimed the government intercepted a phone conversation between Baitullah Mehsud, the leader of the Pakistani Taliban, and Maulvi Sahib, one of Mehsud's underlings.
Of course, it could be a smoke screen raised by ISI, the Pakistani military intelligence, known to be quite a bunch of unsavory characters, so an independent confirmation would be great. But, just in case, here is the "hero" that emerges on the scene, already packed quite tightly by Islamic maddies of various calibers - Baitullah Mehsud:

Not that all that (almost obviously fake) hair and the scarf will allow you to identify the guy if you run into him in your neighborhood Walmart, but it is at least something to be aware of...

And, while we are on the subject:
On Saturday, a spokesman for Mehsud denied his involvement, The Associated Press reported.
Yeah...

Hat tip to Soob.

The three stooges strike again


If you thought it is a picture of our PM preparing to eat a crow, think again.

Olmert said earlier Wednesday that he had no intention of stepping down from his position after the Winograd Committee of inquiry into the Second Lebanon War publishes its final report.
The crow was already evenly split between Amir Peretz, the ex-defense minister and Dan Halutz, the ex-Chief of Staff. With some feathers, beak and other leftovers for a few senior officers.

Now to the second specimen:


His shenanigans deserve no less attention:
This Monday, when Likud chair Benjamin Netanyahu arrived at the Knesset, he understood too late that in less than 24 hours he had managed to infuriate all the members of his faction.
How, you may want to ask?
The storm erupted on Sunday night, after the MKs discovered that some of Netanyahu's men were asking members of the central committee to sign an initiative to change the Likud constitution, enabling him to guarantee two seats to his own people in the first four groups of 10 on the Likud Knesset slate.
Uhu. And, of course, Bibi denies any involvement in this maneuver. But:
No one believed him, least of all the MK who several hours earlier had sent a central committee member to contact Netanyahu's bureau and ask to sign the document, and in response was sent to one of the political activists who works with Shlomo. The document in question was written as a request to Netanyahu, which led to an inside joke in the faction about the fact that "Netanyahu wrote a letter to himself."
Ehehe... Now to the third character:

It looks as though Defense Minister and Labor chair Ehud Barak, the man who was not part of the leadership of the Second Lebanon War, will be the person to draw the most fire from the political establishment after publication of the final report of the Winograd Committee.
Strange, innit? But it is simple really: you see, the man practically bashed himself unconscious, beating his chest and swearing to quit if Olmert doesn't resign when Winograd report... but see above.

And if you believe that he will quit the coalition and his defense minister's office, well, I have a bridge for sale you may want to take a look at...

28 December 2007

Israel: cluster bomb use was legal

This is the CNN headline. It is not absolutely precise, the JP headline is a bit different:


which is also not the whole story, because the first sentence in the JP article says:
Despite several cases during the Second Lebanon War when cluster bombs were not used within the guidelines set by the General Staff, Judge Advocate General Brig.-Gen. Avihai Mandelblit has decided not to take any legal measures against commanders who deviated from those orders, the IDF announced on Monday.
So there were "several cases" that could have been, how to say it gently - not precisely legal.

No, I am not frivolously nitpicking. The whole story stinks to high heaven, and not for legal reasons. There is no international treaty that regulates use of the cluster bombs, even CNN agrees about it. HRW, of course, refer to something that they vaguely call "international humanitarian law", but let's leave it alone for a while.

The whole story, if we focus a bit on the past (it took only one year and a half for Brig.-Gen Mandelblit to reach his learned conclusion), relates to the last few days of the Lebanon war, when it was already clear that IDF will not be allowed to move deeper into Lebanese territory. The decision to start using cluster bombs with their imprecise guiding (the rockets that carry the cluster bombs are very similar to Katyushas and are launched from the Multiple Launch Rocket System) was not confirmed with then Chief of Staff Dan Halutz, who was livid when the story was reported to him. The military value of the act was nil or close to it, and the percentage of defective bomblets in the US-supplied rockets was known to be very high.

Legal reasons aside, this was a pure act of revenge by some frustrated officers, and of course the time that passed since and the change of the guard at the top did not facilitate carrying the military justice out.

So, law or no law, there are tens thousands of unexploded bomblets that (now I am speaking from personal experience) are a hell of a job to deal with. Of course, the CNN suggestion that "Nations are expected to clean up areas where they used cluster bombs once a conflict ends." is full of shit. How precisely do they expect IDF to do it in South Lebanon is clear only to CNN, but the few officers that created the whole morass could do with some exercise. The fresh air and the occupation that calls for unwavering attention will do them no end of good. Judge Advocate General's respected opinion notwithstanding.

Super-Fast Eco-Boat Will Zip Around the World Burning Human Fat

This one from the Breitbart:


The skipper of the boat, in the interest of science, donated a little bit via liposuction of his own body fat to prove that you can use it.
It looks like while our tools become more and more intelligent, we tend to stay behind. I can already see the future headline:

A man eaten by his own car on a cross-country jaunt


27 December 2007

Benazir Bhutto murdered

It is early time to make uneducated guesses about the murderers' motives (or, rather, the motives of his operators), but Pakistan's chances to get to something remotely resembling democracy seem to become even more negligible.

Benazir Bhutto was a controversial figure, but the alternatives look grim indeed...

Update: A stark reminder from BBC on the reality of life in Pakistan:

Rawalpindi, the nerve centre of Pakistan's military, is seen as one of the country's most secure cities.
Update: and we already have the predictable (CiF thread, look for a comment by MrDismal):
There are some very evil people pulling political strings at the present time and, on balance, I think the Islamists look like good guys compared with the psychopathic plutocrats that rule the Belt Way... These Belt Way people probably killed Benazir Bhutto.

Point - counterpoint

These two news items come from the same source - Haaretz. The first one comes from this article:

A group of 40 new immigrants from Iran touched down at Ben-Gurion International Airport on Tuesday, the largest since the fall of the Shah and Iran's Islamic Revolution in 1979.
The second one - from their ticker tape:
16:00 Iranian Jewish head: Immigration of 40 Jews to Israel is misinformation campaign (AP)
But let's not let this become bad blood between brothers. There really is no contradiction, dear "Jewish head": we have just borrowed these forty for the usual propaganda purposes and will return them presently in mint condition.

Nah... just joking...

Aha!

This case is worth your attention:

A desperate search is on to find a pet dog locked for four days in the car of a man who suffers memory loss. The pensioner was taken to hospital after police found him wandering about confused in the early hours last Friday.

The following day he remembered he had gone out to the shops in his silver Citroen Zara Picasso with his dog Cracker, reports the Daily Mirror.
I really feel it for the man. I have a lot of troubles with this same car.

Only it is not a silver one. What col... er...?

26 December 2007

Jooz got Santa or how to deal with the writer's block

This is an updated post from December 23. I promised to publish the best answer.

These days, when the movie industry is clamoring for new ideas for a narrative (and, incidentally, suffering from the writers' strike), the ever creative Palestinian folks keep surprising.

The two following pictures have one thing in common and significantly differ in their fate. Guess the commonality and the difference, and you will get absolutely nothing bad in return.



The best answer will be published here:

The best answer to the first question (what is common between the two shots above) belongs to Dick Stanley:

Uh, both are phony?
Of course, both are staged. Not faked in the sense of a Photoshop job, but as this article in Honest Reporting shows, there is no need to do so: the Pallywood screenwriters are trained exceedingly well in such tasks.

As for the answer to the second question (about the different fates of the shots), no one cared. Probably it is only too clear that, while the second shot will be forgotten in a while, treasured only by a few Greens, the first will make the rounds of all the main media outlets and grace the anti-Israeli sites for years.

In this respect it is my pleasure to quote a rare confession (made in another, but related case) by a Spectator journalist Rod Liddle in this article:
If we - or some other TV monkeys - had not been there, it would not have happened. We were there to witness injustice; and also, if possible, exacerbate it for the benefit of the viewing public.... And when the TV crews, or the international observers are around, the Palestinians play it up for all it is worth; they know how it will go down with an international audience.
Yep...

Some toilet humor

It is not that I intended to post this, but by coincidence I have stumbled today on two sources of some funny toilet-related information. If you are against this kind of entertainment, just don't click on that "Read more..." below.

The following is lifted from a "funniest of the year" post in WND.

Apparently the picture was taken at a summer historical festival in Northamptonshire, England. The valiant knight definitely deserves a few points to be subtracted from his final ranking for this breach of protocol - knights have hardly been known to use chemical potties.

The next news item (same source) is really a balm on my wounds of a veteran smoker. Finally a non-smoker who suffers the consequences of smoking ban in pubs:

Stewart Laidlaw, stealth flatulence expert

Mr Laidlaw, you see, was using the heady smell of the cigarette smoke as a... smokescreen for his quiet emissions of gas.
"No one could smell anything when the pub was full of cigarette smoke," Laidlaw said. "I never used to complain about the smell of their cigarette smoke, but now everyone complains about me."
Mr Laidlaw was expelled (no pun intended) from his pub. Too bad. Anyway, judging by the slightly bulging eyes, the lad is trying to quit his habit.

It appears, according to the following commercial (via Charles G. Hill of Dustbury.com) that Mr Laidlaw does not have to keep his troubles to himself anymore, the help is on the way.


Er... well, enough for one year, I think.

Chinese Food On Christmas

This is simply mandatory:



Hat tip: Stinky.

Pinup Girl Jeanne Carmen Dies

It is not that I am overly sentimental, but I like the face and the way this picture is done - really dated.


On the other hand, it is the look that was fashionable then...

25 December 2007

Oscar Peterson RIP

It was a life worth living.

Marcy Winograd - ripping off the muzzle

Follow some excerpts from a unique manuscript that was intercepted by our agents. Its state was extremely poor - our lab* reported later that it was thoroughly chewed by a dog of indeterminate breed who destroyed more than half of it and left a good part of the rest unreadable. Besides, the little that could be deciphered is obviously written under strong stress in a state close to a nervous meltdown. Nevertheless, the author was clearly under heavy pressure from a third party (further in the text you shall see mentions of a mysterious group named "Agents of the State Department").

It is a sunny da.. in 1956 in LA [Latin America?]. I, a three ..r old little girl, am sitting with my Mo... in a playgrou... Jimmy Bohunk, our neighborhood bull... is beating up little Moshe Schneider, the son of our local rab... "Why, mommy?", I am asking, "Why is it that Moshe cannot be like all other boys and not stand out with his funny glasses, his big no... and his little pee...?" Mommy doesn't answer, dragging me away to change my nap...

My Mom and Dad are very progre... They want everyone to love everyone and are members of everyt... And everyone loves them, even the Cold Wa... Russians. But they are Zionists and keep a frightening picture of an old scary lady named Golda Me... on the mantelp... When I ask my mommy "Why, Mommy, do we have to have this scary pi..", mommy sa... "Shh, meidaleh, do not ask, or the bad Uncle from AIPAC will co... and take you awa...".

And then Mom and Dad took me to Israe... A guide shows us the spanking new tennis courts in Kiriat Shmona donated to reward the brave Joo... and I ask Mommy "Why, Mommy, do these Joo... perpetrate such acts of vio...? Why couldn't they be like every... around, like all these nice Ara... peop... from Syria, from Egyp..., from Ira...?" "Sha, meida..", my Mom answers, "Do not ask such ques..., or the Agents from State Department** will ta... you away".

And while we stroll around Kiriat Shmo..., a scary air raid siren goes off, and we rocket out of there in a jiffy, and Dad curses these darn Zion... all the way to the airp... And I ask "Why, Mom, why do these Israe... sound that sca... siren, cannot they just die quie...?" And Mom starts yakking again about the Agents from Sta.. Dep... And when we come back hom.. Dad takes the picture of Gold... and throws it away into the tras...

And now I understand that these bad J... just don't want to be like everyone and die qui... And I talk about it to a Senat... Wax.., but he says, just like Mo... "Shhh, meidaleh, don't say it or these bad Sta.. D... agen..." And indeed, since then I see the Agents follow... ...where I am... It is very scary and my Mommy doesn't wa... to hel... I think she is afraid of the Age...

Then Mom and Dad bought me a dog, they call it Watchdog Spark... and it comes with a muzzle. And they bo... a muzzl... for me too, Mom says it is to make the scary Ag.. of S... go away and leave me alo... and I should wear it all the time not to say anything stu...


But as I am writ... these words I swea.. that the day will co... when I shall throw aw... that muzzle that they put on my mo... And I want to call upon all of you peop... with muzzl... on your mou... - tear them away! Speak out! Tell all th... viole... Isra... to go away some... for example to LA [Latin America?] where they will not bother anyon... and be a part of the domin... culture and, like me, just hang little red and green lights on plastic Chri... trees...

(At this point our Chief of Signals was taken away with a nervous breakdown, so we have decided to go ahead with this fragment, seeing as to add anything will be simply redundant).

More on the same delicate investigation here.

(*) The lab report also states that any similarity of the manuscript to the one that could be found on the Internet under URL inpursuitofjustice.wordpress.com/2007/12/19/jews-who-dare-to-speak-out/ is purely coincidental
(**) The Mom's expression "Agents of State Department" has naturally attracted our attention, since being in the spying business from times immemorial we have never heard it before. It appears again and again in the text we have received, and we are investigating. Most probably, though, the subject's Mom used it too frequently to impress some rules of behavior on the girl... Just a childhood trauma, like everything else...
Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Merry Christmas! - take 2

Hmm...

Valérie Bègue (Miss France) - Christ on a crucifix in pink bikini?

I just had to know what causes the whole hullabaloo in France, and here it comes from an expert:

The fiercely competitive world of French beauty pageants is not known for sparking philosophical debate between Catholic bishops and politicians, let alone a threatened uprising on an exotic ocean island.

This month a panel of sporting and showbiz celebrities, aided by a public vote, gave the crown to Valérie Bègue, 22, a mixed race business student from the Indian Ocean island, Réunion.

But the mood soured when photographs taken three years ago were sold to a French magazine last week showing Bègue posing as Christ on a crucifix in a pink bikini. Other pictures showed her eating yogurt in a suggestive manner.
Yep. Somebody is being totally uncool, and this has to be alleviated. So here is another cooling picture:

The poor chap was already sick when photographed here and expired in a day or so. So forget pink bikinis and suggestive yogurts. Think about our life that is no more than a brief moment of consciousness in a sea of time. Think about the hedgehog that passed away. Think about the vacance next August.

Cool down...

24 December 2007

Medvedev candidacy and Russian Black Hundreds

The nomination of Dmitry Medvedev, one of Russia's two first deputy prime ministers, by the United Russia party (read Putin) as its candidate for the presidential election next March, raised quite a few brows. Quite a non-entity, at least as far as his control of Russian power centers is concerned, Medvedev is a non-starter without being fully supported by Putin. His nickname - "Porridge*" tells the whole story exceedingly well.

Putin's maneuvering clearly has its goal to keep all the strings of power to himself after the March 08 elections, no matter what role he will take up in the after-elections power structure. Keeping in mind the cosmetic nature of the forthcoming changes, the level of antisemitic histrionics caused by Medvedev's candidacy is impossible to explain, but it is a fact. Probably since Stalin's war against "rootless cosmopolitans" and the glory days of the Black Hundreds before that, Russia had not seen such an eruption of antisemitic venom.

A typical example is displayed by this article that will take even the author of the Protocols by surprise. The poisonous language belongs to the times of the Ochranka, Purishkevich, Dostoyevsky - in short, the best and finest.

The article is titled "[Russia] at crossroads: A successor who will never be".

The title by itself causes a question: why should Putin choose as a successor a man whose chances to be elected are low? Some foul play is being hinted at, but what is its eventual goal is unclear, and no answer is forthcoming from the article. Because it is dedicated to pure hissing Joo-hate that keeps a difficult equilibrium not to become criminal incitement. The article offers a single picture of Medvedev (in the middle, if you haven't guessed by now):

Of course, Medvedev, as many a political leader, gets his share of visits to various religious chieftains, but this picture is tightly linked to the contents. Now to the contents:

It couldn't be that important who is nominated by the United Russia party, when the secret plans of Kremlin nurture the idea of the "Chief Prime Minister" or, in other words, Putin. ...

To start with, we have to say a few words about the candidate's CV, but in Russia it is considered a sin to badmouth these people. Nerd, in short. We cannot say anything bad about his Jewish mother, Yulia Benyaminovna, a good woman, apparently, only her nationality is a matter of public knowledge. For example, nobody aside of closest people knew about Mr Blank's (nickname Lenin) mother, Mr Dzhugashvili's (nickname Stalin) father, Mr Lieberman's (nickname Andropov) mother. And 99.9% of the general population and 90% of the world's elite didn't even suspect their true nationality. Which means that these people had their reasons to hide their roots. "Russia, you see, they wouldn't get it." And this during the totalitarian times.

And now, after a strange "election" a few strange "parties" get together and nominate an apparently good person who doesn't have any suitable background and just pushed papers all his life. A typical nerd boy and a son of Yulia Benyaminovna to boot, in other words the most Halachic Jew. Not just a potential repatriate to Israel, but one whose genealogy is above suspicion and guarantees him a very good reception in his historic motherland.
I could go on with the translation, but the above is enough to get the drift and, more important, the tone of this quite poisonous piece. Just to get the full measure of hypocrisy, the author (or the editor) put a footnote addressing the potential commentators of the article:
We request that readers be as proper as possible when discussing the article. Jews are not guilty that Medvedev was nominated. Comments that include insulting and provocative statements will not be posted.
As you can imagine... no, actually you couldn't and I am not going to translate any of the sewer-level comments (which is the major part) that follow.

I intended to emphasize a few especially poignant items in the translation above, but after some mulling decided to leave it to your imagination.

(*) In fact, the direct translation of "манная каша", which is how Medvedev is nicknamed, is "Cream of wheat". Porridge was chosen as a better translation that may give an English speaking reader a feeling of the subject matter. Any ideas to improve this translation are welcome.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.


Ahmed the triple shaheed

It is probably one of the miracles that happen or, at least, are talked about during the upcoming holiday season. I am happy to introduce Ahmed, a veteran three-time suicide bomber, who is blogging from a cave that is obviously located somewhere in the better world. How precisely it is done and what does Ahmed have to say - here.

Merry Christmas!

To all our Christian and non-denominational friends all over the world.

23 December 2007

A side remark

Nope. Aussies wouldn't take him back. No way.

Cat lovers alerted again - a misdirection attempt!

Ladies and gentlemen of cat loving society! I want to turn your attention to a case that was brought to your judgment some time ago. To refresh you memory, the subject was displaying only some basic misunderstanding of the feline nature, and the measures recommended then were of educational nature, without elements of punishment.

Today the situation is more severe, and I am afraid that much harsher measures will be required. The subject, while outwardly displaying some signs of being converted, unintentionally confessed to some heinous crimes. He starts with a feeble attempt of misdirection, pointing to an apparent anti-feline person (a writer Amanda Craig this time) who says the following about cats:

Cats are all very well in their way, but sharing your space with a creature even more self-centred, indolent, cold-hearted and greedy than yourself is never a good idea....
To an amateur in feline affairs it may sound alarming, but then Ms Craig comes clean:
Dogs, on the other hand, offer us all the unstinting devotion, slavish admiration and gratitude we could possibly want...
It is clear as July sky over Negev desert that Ms Craig here is a dog person. In other words, someone not responsible for her opinions on feline population and to be left alone (well, at least until the day comes, if you know what I mean).

The false whistleblower, however, could not confine himself to this misdirection and just had to add some self-incriminating details:
...let me be absolutely clear that our cats are selfless, constantly busy on good works, more affectionate than your granny and are so charitable they share their food with us at all times. They salute us every morning when we rise, make the bed, do the vacuuming...
I think you don't need more sordid details, so let's proceed with the verdict. Follow the charges:
  1. A clumsy attempt of misdirection - could be discounted
  2. Food deprivation ("they share their food with us")
  3. Humiliation ("They salute us every morning")
  4. And the worst one: use of feline labor ("make the bed, do the vacuuming")
I think that we can start with a rain of cute white laboratory mice, of course after the felines are evacuated from the property.

Laure Manaudou - new sensational sexy frames!

Your decision to watch the clip below confirms that you are over 17 years old and are allowed to watch material of explicitly sexual nature without your parent guidance.


Hope you enjoyed it. I did.

22 December 2007

Sacha Baron Cohen: Killing off Borat and Ali G.

That's what Telegraph says, so hopefully it's true.

So what can I say? Die, Borat, die! Die, Ali G., die! You were great for a while, guys, but the while became just a bit too long.

RIP...

Star of Bethlehem on bethlehemstar.net

A fascinating discovery is reported in this clip on Breitbart TV. There is more on bethlehemstar.net, where the author of the discovery goes into more details.

Apparently, according to the author, the Star of Bethlehem was a natural event - a juxtaposition of several heavenly bodies that created an optical illusion of one great star. And this conclusion was reached mainly by looking in the calendar dates of a few key events that date the birth of Jesus and by operating the existing body of astronomical data backwards to see which celestial entities could have created this juxtaposition.

Well, there is a difficulty related to the real occupation of the professor: you see, he is in fact a professor of law, and astronomy is just his hobby. But he invested ten years in his studies, and after all astronomy is not rocket science... er... at least not directly. Anyhow, one has to tread carefully here.

My problem with his theory is less in the realm of astronomy, more in professor's "adjustment" of a few dates to match his results. Here it becomes a bit hairy. Reminds me about one famed professor of linguistics that decided to jump into politics, twisting or ignoring some facts... lots of them, as it appears.

All in all, I prefer to stick to the miracle version. Vatican version of events, at least, guarantees me a formidable defense team if the worst happens.

21 December 2007

Photohunt: Light


The theme for this week is "Light". This is a loaded word, for sure.

To start with, I went for the first thing that came to mind:

Doesn't require an explanation, I am sure. Just to mention that it came from a pigeon, the most despicable of all birds in my eyes - and no, I didn't off it.

Now to something completely different:

There is a lot of light in that scene, and the kite (or whatever this contraption is called) is light as well.

The bug could be light or heavy, I am not sure - after some consideration I have decided not to pick it up. The pinkish light around the critter came from the autofocus gizmo of my camera.

Now does this little cossack radiate light or does he
radiate light?

And not to forget: Merry Christmas to all the shutterbugs who celebrate it! And Happy New Year to all.


If you liked what you have seen (or read) in this post, add your link in the comments:
I promise to visit your place as soon as possible!


To look for other photo hunters, go there.

***


Idle fun

From a fellow blogger's "About" insert:

I'm married to a beautiful woman, and we have 2 beautiful daughters, a female cat, and a female Beagle. I love to learn about leadership and motivation.
I can see lots of motivation, as for the leadership... too late, comrade...

Weekly Lec*

The window to the world can be covered by a newspaper.
(*)See here what it is all about.

***

Baby Assad a Zionist stooge?


That's what he says, apparently.

We all know that the regular way for Baby Assad to turn down something (or somebody) is by blowing it (or him) up, as in all these "mysterious" assassinations in Lebanon.

So, if you follow this line of thought, the conclusion that Assad subcontracted IAF to blow up that nuke place is inevitable.

Now it is all clear!

Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd



Well, it's not bad, I guess. Not exceptional, though, IMHO...

20 December 2007

Politicos and more politicos

A funny joke about the Clinton pair here*.

And another (not a joke, but almost as funny) story about Comical Hugo from the same place:

And this one I just had to copy from there and post here:

(*) For reasons that may be unclear only to the brain damaged, the Elders declare hereby that they (meaning "we") do not take sides in the upcoming US elections. You can ask why.

Communists: they just refuse to die

This headline made me imagine an old dried-out Erich Honecker - type commie caught with his hand in a cookie jar (aren't they all?). However, the hand in a cookie jar belongs to a different commie this time, of a young and restless variety: one Sahra Wagenknecht.

By the time she had realised her mistake - that as one of Germany's top communists she should probably not be seen eating lobster - it was too late. There was no time to switch from the €22 (£16) "rich man's dish" to a more modest platter of kippers, because Sahra Wagenknecht had already been caught on camera in the act of betraying her own political ideals.
This story, more than anything else, tells me that pathetic hypocrisy of the old-style communists is as alive as ever. The usual false public modesty and the same old tired retorts:
"I don't do anything that I say others shouldn't do," she told the daily TAZ. "On the contrary, I'm fighting for a society in which everyone can afford to eat lobster."
Most probably she was concerned with freshness of that lobster and valiantly fell upon it to protect the proletariat from a possible seafood poisoning, which is, as we all know, one of the most dangerous of them all.

But this is just an appetizer (unlike that lobster), her postprandial activities are even more of a throwback:
Shows of wealth by politicians and reports of hefty bonuses for managers regularly make for negative headlines. Acutely aware of this, the day after the dinner Wagenknecht, 38, allegedly dispatched her parliamentary assistant to the office of Feleknas Uca, the photographer and fellow Left MEP who was one of six other Left members at the dinner. The assistant asked whether Uca would lend her her digital camera to "take photographs with an acquaintance". According to Uca, the photographs of Wagenknecht cracking into her lobster had been erased from the camera when it was returned to her the following day.
What can one say? Pathetic doesn't even start to describe this kind of behavior.

I wish, though, that this lobster were a bit off, you know. Make her barf a bit, like I wanted to after reading the story.

Laure Manaudou or Manoudou or Manodou?

Whatever - you, my frenetic surfers, are getting another photo treatment:

Lovely bird, ain't she? And if this wasn't sufficient, here's some cold water:

Chill out, you may blow a gasket otherwise...

UFO over Haiti - fake or real?

According to this, it is just some digital voodoo:



Anyway, alerting the UFO experts.

19 December 2007

A new pen-friend

This here blog has produced an innocent sneer or two in the general direction of the famous MPACUK (_http://mpacuk.org/_). On several occasions yours truly even got a few "complimentary" messages and comments from its especially irked fans, but by now it is water under the bridge, of course. Be it as it may, this blog did not pay MPACUK the attention it really deserves.

It is with great pleasure that I present here the blog named "The Useful Idiot" - a very misleading name as you shall see after a quick dip into its contents. MPACUK is hardly known outside of UK, and it's quite the time somebody teared that thin veil of respectability from its - let's not mince words here - ugly mug. And "The Useful Idiot" does this, and much more, with diligence and success, so more power to its owner!

Did I mention his tender care of BBC and IslamOnline?

Hi, this is your public servant, can I help you?

The story, as I heard today on Army radio (may be imprecise in some details):
an editor from the "Maariv for the young" (a supplement of the popular daily) has sent letters to all 120 Israeli MKs (members of Israeli parliament), presenting himself as a 16 year old high school student from a poor family. He asked for help (not defined as a monetary donation or anything else specific) with books required for the diploma exams and left his phone number. The results were quite encouraging.
62 out of 120 MKs responded - either directly or via their administrative assistants. Almost all offered some kind of assistance or referred the "poor student" to relevant social services or a charity. In a short interview, the following responses were especially noticed as outstanding:

  1. Ely Yishay (Minister) - called himself and sent a personal check.
  2. Tzipi Livni (FM) - called herself, offered to send the books left from her children and other assistance.
  3. Meir Sheetrit - called himself and referred to an organization that takes care of such cases, asked for a follow-up on the results.
Many of the others were helpful too.

Now to the other side of the coin: outstanding non-callers. Of course, who but the three stooges:









How do you like them chickens...

Laure Manaudou, Jamie Lynn Spears, Casey Aldridge, Anna Chakvetadze, John Berg and others

Ladies and gentlemen, dear surfers!

The subjects above make you overexcited, which state is fraught with dangers. Look at this and relax:

This freshwater crustacean (Potamon potamios palestinensis) is very cool, in my opinion. She/he minds hers/his own private business, does not stick its nose in the sordid underwear of celebrities and minds this (from the link above):

Vivid auditory hallucinations and paranoid delusions are the real frighteners and, unlike hallucinogens, the "trip" cannot be turned around. This is a very real mental state caused by over-excitement of the brain's fright centres.

Its effects often start with curiosity, deep thought, and paranoia. Its slow build up makes it all the more dangerous, as it is harder to recognise the symptoms.
Yep...

18 December 2007

Iran refutes report Nasrallah was demoted

We can breath easily now, knowing that the rumors about Nasrallah's demotion were false.

According to Iranian Foreign Ministry Spokesman Muhammad Ali Hosseini, speaking in a weekly press conference Sunday morning, the aforementioned claims constitute nothing but "rumors spread with the central aim of emasculating the Lebanese opposition vis-à-vis the Zionist regime."
This sounds more authentic, if you know what I mean. In fact, our sources in Lebanon report that a special envoy from Tehran promoted Nasrallah to the rank of Major General in his hitherto secret bunker.

There was one hitch in the ceremony, though: since the envoy forgot to bring the Major General insignia from Tehran and the Lebanese army doesn't agree to share their own insignia with foreign mercenaries, Nasrallah was forced to order the shoulder tags from here over Internet.

(It was confirmed by the vendor that additional $5 were spent on epaulets).

Pamela Anderson without Rick Solomon - hope springs eternal!

(It seems that this post could become a recurrent feature, judging by the shortness of marriage/divorce cycles. So I am just recycling the old one.)

Anyhow - rejoice, ye olde lechers - Pamela is back on the market! So you have a chance of your miserable lifetime again.

















In fact, your chances are rather nil, but you can always click on that picture. To enlarge it.

Update: oh no, it is despair again, they are back together!

17 December 2007

ho Ho HO

Did you hear that story about Ho, Ho, Ho being discarded for being offensive to women?

Now here is a good one from Dick Stanley on a somewhat related subject:

I am not sure that "ACLU " is absolutely necessary in the above, but you get the drift, do you?

He he he...

Alycia Lane bikini photos, Rich Eisen and Suzy Shuster

will not appear here as well, but here is a nice picture of a dragonfly (no clothes at all):

Click to enlarge

Recommended watching time for total relaxation - 5 minutes. No blinking!

The era of the Intelligent Bra

It seems that intelligence is no longer restricted to the world of the live beings and electronic devices (computers, robots, bombs, etc.). Now the first item of clothing joined the parade - the Intelligent Bra.

Women could be spared the discomfort and even injury caused by poor bra design thanks to an "intelligent fabric" with sensors developed by scientists. As many as 80 per cent of women are thought to be wearing the wrong bra, increasing the risk of pain and nerve damage caused by bra straps, particularly during exercise.
Looks like the sentiment expressed in the picture below will become history shortly:

And all the glory belongs to Aussies:
Researchers from the University of Wollongong in Australia said: "A consequence of current bra design is that the brassiere straps bear much of the load generated by breast momentum during physical activity.
I hoped they have invested enough thought in the design of a new quick release button that men could finally figure out too...

16 December 2007

Anti-Zionism and Antisemitism: Cosmopolitan Reflections

This post is a tribute to an exceptional work, the title of which I have stolen for the post headline. It is written by an exceptional person, who is humbly describing himself in the following words:

David Hirsh is a lecturer in sociology at Goldsmiths, University of London. He has been centrally involved in the anti-boycott campaign within the British academic trade unions and he is the founding editor of the Engage website (www.EngageOnline.org.uk), an anti-boycott campaign and an antiracist campaign against antisemitism. This positioning facilitates participant observation and action research by a key actor in these debates.
What can I say about this work? When we, the bloggers, get into a fight with some other bloggers or some authors whose work we despise, we can be voluble, we can be insulting, we can even be right - but it hardly moves the other side. When a person of David Hirsh's caliber and intellect gets into the fray, it is not for a cheap retort of for a derisive comment or two. Anti-Zionism and Antisemitism: Cosmopolitan Reflections is a seminal work that will be much quoted, studied and, of course, much criticized by a certain segment of scientific (oh well...) community.

We can only applaud from the sidelines and give this work a bit of a hand here and there.

A word of caution, though, re the term Cosmopolitan. If the intended meaning is as in dictionary: "A sophisticated person who has travelled in many countries", it's fine and dandy. Unfortunately, this word in its Russian version of "космополит" ("kosmopolit") had quite a different meaning during some very difficult times: a person without a nation, without roots and without loyalty. Of course, the person usually (but not always) happened to be a Jew. If the tyrant hadn't croaked in 1953, a repeat of the Holocaust in its less organized Soviet version would have been close...

But it is surely immaterial now, right? So just go and read this work, it is worth all of your time!

Update: for the impatient - to hear more about the work, listen to this interview with David Hirsh.

Ronaldinho vs. Alexandra Paressant

I have tried to get this out of my head for several days, but no, it is impossible. If the story this lady tells is for real, it means that my beloved team lost because of... no, I am speechless:

More, after the competition ended, Ronaldinho’s girlfriend, Alexandra Paressant, stated that her "boy" skipped camp every night so that the couple could party all night long. And that made Ronaldinho not very loved in Brazil.
Brazil should be the least of your worries, boychick. You are marked by the Elders now... Prepare for a surgery...

15 December 2007

A sincere person with serious muscle seeked

Can you be sincere? Are you musclebound? If your answer to both questions is positive (I mean "yes"), please contact me as soon as possible.

Being already terribly busy with several money-making (or, rather, money-collecting, this is how easy it is) schemes, not the least of them with that rich widow (or, rather, ex-widow since our marriage) of Benin, I am more than willing to share the spoils of my multi-million future ventures. There is another reason I am going to share the benefits of this new enterprise with you, my lucky stranger. It will become apparent to you in a jiffy.

It all started with a cry for help from the battle-scarred fields of Iraq. "Can You Be Sincere?" asked the e-mail in its "Subject" line, and of course I can, we, the Elders, are trained to look sincere with the best of them. And here is the gist of the letter:

Dear Friend

My name is Sgt. Jason Herzog*, I am an American soldier with Swiss background, serving in the military with the army’s 3rd infantry division. With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your kind assistance to move the sum of (US$ 25 million ) Twenty Five million united states dollars to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here, this is no stolen money, and there are no danger involved.
Source of money:
Some money in various currencies was discovered in barrels at a farm house near one of Saddam’s old palaces in Tikrit-Iraq during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt. Kenneth Buff and I that some part of this money be shared among both of us before informing anybody about it since both of us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in this hell hole Of which my brother in-law was killed by a road side bomb last week.

Only an unfeeling worm could remain deaf to this desperate cry for help. Especially when such a healthy amount of money is involved. In short, we must help our brave Sarge to transfer the moneys to the place of his choosing, which I guess will be a Swiss bank. There is one hitch, though, that forces me to look for assistance. You see, the money is, most probably, in low denomination banknotes and even coins, this is why barrels are used to store it. Unfortunately, due to my excessive portliness and generally delicate physique, I cannot undertake the venture alone. Since I will be the brain of the whole operation, your share will be a generous 25% of our take, which, I am confident, will be 12 million USD.

So, if you are of a charitable mood and don't mind making a few bucks out of it, please contact me with proof of your sincerity and brawn. The first acceptable candidate wins!

To stress the urgency - another quote from the appeal by our brave Sarge:

I do not know how long we will remain here, and i have been shot, wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God...

See how desperate the situation is? Come on the run, please.

(*) For privacy the middle name of the sender was removed. Do not ask me to divulge it.

Google Knol, Elf on the Shelf or Spanx?

Is Google Knol geared to overtake Wiki, our good ole Wiki? A good question.

Are New York women skipping the gym lately, packing into girdle-astic Spanx power panties? Could these wonder panties work for men too?

The elf, named Fisbee, appeared at Bob and Carol Aebersold's house every Thanksgiving and stayed through Christmas. Or, at least, so they say (I personally believe them, cause no rational person will invent such a name for an imaginary elf). But doesn't elf frighten off Santa and his deers?

Too many questions...

14 December 2007

Democracy then, idiocracy now.

By a strange coincidence, I was at the last chapter or two of the excellent work by Nick Cohen - "What is Left?", when I got a tip about a spoof site Not Democracy Now, mimicking the infamous Democracy Now site of infamous Amy Goodman. Not being a fan of DN in general or Amy Goodman in particular, I was forced to take a look at the DN site to get a first impression. Tell you what - there wouldn't be a second impression, unless under torture.

The coincidence is funny, because Amy Goodman is fitting the profile of many characters Nick Cohen put under a scalpel in his book - the lefties who, after the loss of their socialist beacon, are guided by a very primitive missive: "enemy of my enemy is my friend". The missive that causes many of the "progressive left" to become in the worst case fellow travelers for every bloody dictator and merciless murderer in the world or, in a better case, to provide fertile ground for unimpeded growth of poisoned mushrooms like George Galloway, Norman Finkelstein, Ward Churchill and, lest we forget, Noam Chomsky the Mastermind of the century.

In short - if you want to see a choice selection of fun interviews with choice selection of thoroughly unpleasant characters - from above mentioned Mastermind to Pol Pot (hmm... I wonder whether it's a coincidence) - please do not hesitate. Go to the Not Democracy Now site and enjoy! I did.

Weekly Lec*

I once saw a miracle - just when we could have done without one.
(*)See here what it is all about.

***

13 December 2007

Terry Pratchett - bad news

Come on, Terry, we do not believe it.

Just stay put and do what you do best, we all need you.

Now they can fight - it is official.


I have somehow missed this sensational headline. It is necessary to understand its precise meaning, not that a saying of any religious cleric must carry something precise.
The following statement carries more information:
A Muslim woman is allowed to fight back in self-defense if hit by her husband, Lebanon's top Shiite cleric declared Tuesday in a ruling rare for the male-dominated Islamic society.
I am not trying to be sarcastic here, just to get a full measure of this, doubtlessly important decree by a fairly important (albeit in Lebanon only) Grand Ayatollah. So the new fatwa does not necessarily forbid a man to beat his wife, but at least it allows the wife to hit back.

Taking into account the ratio of weight and muscle between a man and a woman, not to speak about the currently dominant culture of male superiority an macho sense of honor - how many women in the Middle East will actually follow this fatwa? And of those who follow - how many will be killed of beaten into pulp?

No doubt, this is an important precedent, and hopefully the example will be followed. But the way from here to suffrage is still very long. And, besides, the same fatwa still says that "Islam gives men supremacy over women in running household affairs".

So, let's not hold our collective breath for now.

Jodie Foster, Cindy/Cydney Bernard and my confusion.

It was a great and pleasant surprise to discover that Jodie Foster and I share the same preference.

But while googling for the picture of Foster's partner the only live creature that came up was this:

Cindy Bernard is the name, but surely it cannot be true?

Update: that confusion was settled, it is Cydney after all, but the picture remains for now...

12 December 2007

General Francois Hajj RIP - Jooz guilty again?

Syrian officialese is anything but unpredictable. Year after year the same "unidentified government official" continues to churn the same old, same old. And the latest do in Lebanon is not an exception from the rule.

A top general in the Lebanese army was killed early Wednesday when a powerful car bomb exploded beside his vehicle in a residential suburb of Beirut.
And, of course, here comes that official:
Syria denounced the assassination with the official SANA news agency quoting an unidentified official as saying that Israel and "its tools in Lebanon" were responsible for Hajj's murder.
Bleh...

Ehud Barak says...

According to an article from JP:

A large-scale operation in the Gaza Strip has dropped to the back burner in recent days after an assessment within the defense establishment found that the daily border raids the IDF has been conducting have had an effect on Hamas's military capabilities, senior defense officials said Tuesday.
If you are ready to believe this crapola, here is more:
Defense Minister Ehud Barak said the operation had achieved "very important results" in the fight against the manufacture and firing of Kassam rockets and mortar shells. Speaking during a visit to a navy base in Haifa, Barak said that IDF operations like the one on Tuesday allowed Israelis to celebrate Hanukka and light candles in peace.
But hold the horses with the celebrations, here is some news for Barak:
As post-Annapolis talks were set to kick off around Wednesday noon, Palestinians in the Gaza Strip fired two barrages of Kassam rockets at the western Negev. One person was lightly wounded and two very lightly wounded; one of the rockets landed on a sidewalk in the middle of a main street in the city.

Several salvoes fired in the early morning hours amounted to a total of 17 rockets fired in a space of less than two hours.
This immediately after the operation that "achieved very important results"...

Update: and more government-issue crap:
Prime Minister Ehud Olmert vowed on Tuesday to remove the threat of Qassam rockets from the southern part of the country.
Yeah... like we keep hearing for the last 7 years.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com.

Ami vs Hitch on Hanukkah: that was too easy

That broadside against Hanukkah by Christopher Hitchens caused a mixed reaction in the camp of Hitch's followers and in that other camp. I was rather amused by that piece.

When Hitch unequivocally states that:

And so we have a semiofficial celebration of Hanukkah, complete with menorah, to celebrate not the ignition of a light but the imposition of theocratic darkness.
he is rather, in the inertia of his monumental (no cynicism here) drive against theocracies of all kinds, throwing the baby away with the water. Besides pissing off lots of people for no good reason, he should have studied the history of that specific holiday.

As I have mentioned, being a surfing lightweight with a short memory, I would have forgotten about this unsuccessful lunge of Hitch's sword, if it were not for a repartee by Ami Isseroff, who is a formidable opponent for anyone, Hitch included. In this post, which I recommend to both pro- and anti-Hitchenits, Ami neatly demolished that unfortunate article. Just a few quotes, and then read the whole yourself.

The first quote is chosen for its superb acidity:
From Hitchens' point of view, the victory of the American colonists in 1776 was a victory of colonial provincialism and particularism over the magnificent culture and traditions of the British Empire, whilst the expulsion of the British from India must be regretted as a victory of paganism and backwardness over European civilization. Hitchens should also have pointed out that if the story of Passover is true, the Jews escaped from the benefits of the sophisticated culture of Egypt into the primitive wilds of the Sinai desert.
And the second actually demolishes the main postulate of Hitch's grumble:
Hanukkah was not well beloved of Jewish zealots, because the Maccabees were Hellenizers, and because the victory elevated a civil authority as central to the Jewish people, eclipsing the priesthood.
An my own two cents: Hitch clearly doesn't understand the spirit of Hanukkah as it is celebrated today. First of all, like Purim (which could be also reconstructed by Hitch as celebration of backward Jooz gaining an upper hand over the enlightenment of Persian Empire), Hanukkah is mainly a kids' holiday, beloved for many happy reasons (one of them being the presents they get).

Secondly, we have that Maccabee beer - not bad at all. And than, there is a tradition of Maccabee Tel-Aviv giving a bloody nose to a Greek team on the eve of this holiday, which couldn't be all bad, you have to agree...

And the last argument - this time against Hellenism: if I were forced to choose between Hellenism and Judaism (which I am not, thanks Zeus), I would have chosen the latter in a jiffy. How does a normal person cope with such a shitload of gods is absolutely mind-boggling - I barely remember my kids' birthdays. Comparatively, Judaism is what is called today streamlining, I believe...

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are happy

As both should be, hopefully for all the same reasons.

But many people (mostly of male persuasion) are experiencing mixed feelings about the news.

Oh well...

Australia - a new ecologic disaster

Above and beyond the global warming, pollution and nuclear waste, a new horrible threat is clouding the blue skies of Australia - the BURGER.

Its shenanigans on Australian soil started not very auspiciously. Some of the first burgers arrived with the driftwood, crossing the ocean on favorable currents, some just fell out from the bags of excited tourists pulling out their cameras from their bags, only to be discarded later into the garbage bins by naive customs employees.

Only a few lucky ones made their way to the back doors of the local eateries. And then the war for survival started in earnest. The gentle and open-hearted local cuisine was hardly a match for the feral newcomers, and whatever the burger lacked in flavor was more than compensated by the toughness of its ingredients. The Vegemite cried and dissolved, the kangaroos' loin hid in the bushes; and the bush tucker, fat succulent grubs included, run away with its tail between its legs...

And now the grief stricken Aussies stand helplessly before the huge (up to 20 ft) wave of cheeseburgers, hamburgers and even veg burgers that has already engulfed the coastal regions and now threatens the innocent inhabitants of the Outback, such as the Redback spider, the Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus) and, of course, the famous and cuddly Drop bear that is facing total extinction as a result...

And the only advice I can offer the suffering Aussies: do unto the Burger what you do unto the feral cats and the brown bogong moths. In other words:

Eat them!

11 December 2007

'Cannibal' killer commits suicide

Cannot say I shed a tear for this one.

A murder suspect dubbed "the cannibal" was found dead in his prison cell of an apparent suicide Tuesday, two months after police found cooked and seasoned bits of his girlfriend's corpse on a fork and plate in his apartment.
Nor do I find anything exceptional in this:
Acquaintances, prosecutors and psychologists described Calva as a charismatic, habitual liar who liked to dominate women, whom he sometimes convinced to sell his poems on the street. He also passed himself off as a playwright, television personality, reporter, novelist and actor.
There are indeed quite a few charismatic habitual liars, employed as playwrights, television personalities, reporters, novelists and actors. Not many of them dismember and cook their girlfriends, though.

Live like a dog... Anyway, he probably died of malnutrition. Suicide my foot...