12 December 2007

Australia - a new ecologic disaster

Above and beyond the global warming, pollution and nuclear waste, a new horrible threat is clouding the blue skies of Australia - the BURGER.

Its shenanigans on Australian soil started not very auspiciously. Some of the first burgers arrived with the driftwood, crossing the ocean on favorable currents, some just fell out from the bags of excited tourists pulling out their cameras from their bags, only to be discarded later into the garbage bins by naive customs employees.

Only a few lucky ones made their way to the back doors of the local eateries. And then the war for survival started in earnest. The gentle and open-hearted local cuisine was hardly a match for the feral newcomers, and whatever the burger lacked in flavor was more than compensated by the toughness of its ingredients. The Vegemite cried and dissolved, the kangaroos' loin hid in the bushes; and the bush tucker, fat succulent grubs included, run away with its tail between its legs...

And now the grief stricken Aussies stand helplessly before the huge (up to 20 ft) wave of cheeseburgers, hamburgers and even veg burgers that has already engulfed the coastal regions and now threatens the innocent inhabitants of the Outback, such as the Redback spider, the Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus) and, of course, the famous and cuddly Drop bear that is facing total extinction as a result...

And the only advice I can offer the suffering Aussies: do unto the Burger what you do unto the feral cats and the brown bogong moths. In other words:

Eat them!