Local militia paraded in the streets of Donetsk the captured American soldiers, who were taking part in the punitive actions against civilians. Capture of aliens from the NATO Legion fighting in Donbass occurs more frequently in recent years, because the members of the Banderite militia were mostly killed.
Locals angrily spat after the Americans and complained to journalists about Obama.
"Americans drank all dill water* I prepared for my child, and now he is tortured by gases. Obama is jealous of Russia, so he is killing us for our Russian language!" - Complains mother of eight children Marina Fedotova.
"I myself saw a US helicopter that used nets to catch children playing on the football field. Poroshenko doesn't pay me a pension, Obama ordered him not to!" - Cried Zoya Valentinovna, a pensioner.
"I was hiding in the barn from the NATO Legion, then I heard American and Polish languages. They broke into the barn and raped my Manya. One of them held the tail, the other raped. The cow cried during this, her tears rolled down. At night I shod the cow in my valenki** so that she would tread quietly, to save me from the rapists, and galloped away to the militia. Obama is to blame for all this!" - Recalls with horror a former victim of Nato blockade, 96 years old Zinaida Petrovna.
Militia vowed to take its revenge upon the NATO legion, not only for civilians and cattle, but also for Gaddafi and Saddam Hussein. If all American soldiers are imprisoned, it will be possible to build a new Russian world in America without a fight and to save the blacks, humiliated by the capitalists, from their juvenile justice system.
(*) Dill water is considered to be a powerful de-gassing measure.
(**) Felt winter boots
Afterword: yes, of course, it is a spoof. What did you think?