Wayne Madsen does it again or How to be had gracefully

It's very easy for me to write another post about the illustrious Wayne Madsen, just because I have the opening ready from many other posts.


The picture above shows some kind of an overweight chipmunk doing his best to contain and suppress a humongous flatus. You can read more about Wayne Madsen here and here and here.

Wayne Madsen, if you didn't know, positions himself as a leading authority on any matter related to intelligence, basing this positioning on his (real or imaginary) experience:

Madsen was formerly a Senior Fellow of the Electronic Privacy Information Center. He has some twenty years experience in computer security and data privacy. He was a communications security analyst with the National Security Agency in the 1980s, and an intelligence officer in the US Navy.

His analytical mind serves him very well in concocting most outlandish conspiracy theories. His talents made him a much desired item on Russian TV channel RT, which specializes in outlandish, in conspiracies and in theories.

The only problem that relentlessly haunts Wayne Madsen is his disturbed mentality, where everything is connected to everything and there is no distinction between sober reality and unbridled fantasy. Of course this (and his obsession with Jooz under his bed and generally everywhere) makes him a kook of the first order. But no one proved yet that kooks couldn't be funny. And Madsen produced another hilarious inanity to beat the previous ones easily.

It started with a brilliant spoof written by Jim Wald in Times of Israel and titled Leaked report: Israel acknowledges Jews in fact Khazars; Secret plan for reverse migration to Ukraine. The article is a doozy, a "fact-based", seriously-looking and well argumented essay on a joint Israeli-Ukrainian venture to set up Jewish settlers back in Crimea and to restore the empire of Khazaria (to be renamed Chazerai - in Yiddish). You cannot lose investing a bit of your time to read it in its entirety, it is hilarious. Of course, there are tell-tale signs of a spoof from the first line of the article (Our Russian and Ukrainian correspondents Hirsh Ostropoler and I. Z. Grosser-Spass also contributed to this story, delayed due to the crisis over the Crimean referendum.) The name Hirsh Ostropoler is so easy to check...

But of course, being a bit slow and extremely eager to stick it to the Jooz, Wayne Madsen couldn't be bothered with boring pedestrian fact checking, and thus a screeching opus Israel’s Secret Plan for a "Second Israel" in Ukraine was born. As a lede, the article has the following:

The role of Jewish figures and that of the State of Israel in the Ukrainian crisis has not gone unnoticed considering that this community represents less than 1 percent of the population. However, a secret report in the hands of the Netanyahu administration confirms that Ashkenazi Jews do not originate from the Levant, but are the descendants of the Khazars. This little-known population founded a Jewish empire in the tenth century on the banks of the Black Sea. Therefore, some Zionists see in Ukraine a possible second Israel.

And its first sentence says:

The Times of Israel, an independent Israeli newspaper that counts among its staff a number of former reporters for the Israeli daily Ha’aretz, published a fascinating but largely overlooked story datelined Jerusalem and Zhitomir, Ukraine, March 16, 2014, and which was written by its respective Russian and Ukrainian correspondents, Hirsh Ostropoler and I. Z. Grosser-Spass, citing a secret report provided to the Israeli government.

I bet the late and much lamented H. Ostropoler is doing the ROFLMAO exercises in his grave since the day this phenomenal opus was published.

Of course, poor and easily duped Wayne Madsen wasn't alone for long. The incomparable David Icke, he of 6 ft lizards dominating the world, he that calls us "to fling open the door of the mental prison we build for ourselves and to walk into the light of freedom", wasn't far behind, inspired by the "expert on intelligence" and joined the fray.

Only yesterday came news that Syrian rebels plan to give Israel the Golan Heights in exchange for creation of a no-fly zone against the Assad regime. In an even bolder move, it is now revealed, Israel will withdraw its settlers from communities beyond the settlement blocs—and relocate them at least temporarily to Ukraine.

Yes, talk about mental prisons... There are many, many others who swallowed the whole story - hook, line and sinker - such as the nice folks of Stormfront who came to the yarn independently from Madsen and after a few posts were warned off by some of their more astute members.

But a special notice should be made of a Turkish poster Aangirfan, already mentioned on this blog. Well, he was mentioned as a moron, albeit not, strictly speaking, negatively. And this time he didn't disappoint too. First of all, he prefaced his post by the following colorful sentence:

A number of people suggest that the following Wayne Madsen story, which appeared at voltairenet, is based on a HOAX that appeared in a The Times of Israel blog.

However, even after warning us all about the possibility of a hoax, he, probably eager to prove he is a moron (but in a nice way, mind you), concluded his post this way:

The ultimate plans of Ukrainian Zionists ... in addition to such American allies as Assistant Secretary of State ... Victoria Nuland and U.S. ambassador to Ukraine Geoffrey Pyatt, is to establish an autonomous Jewish region of Crimea and restore to the peninsula the original Khazarian name of Chazerai.

Chazerai* indeed... original Khazarian name... tee hee.

In short: congratulations to Jim Wald with job well done. And many happy returns. Keep the morons busy!

(*) Some of you, who don't know the meaning of this word, shouldn't be kept in the dark. So here: chazerai.