Unleash your inner slob, men of the world: the life you dream about is healthy!

The picture should give you a hint about the topic. Yes, the slob in you, man, is not a destructive antisocial troll that will take you to Abaddon. Just the opposite: if you follow the slob's wishes, you are practically drinking from the fountain of youth and are certain to remain healthy, not to mention happy (which is obvious) till the day you will be called to check in the equipment to the higher power.

And I shall prove it to you immediately, using the wealth of material carefully and lovingly collected by a Russian journo, Maria Mikulina, for an online magazine Maxim. I should add, however, that in view of importance of the subject matter, I didn't blindly rely on Ms Mikulina's rendering, but went to the sources of the scientific info provided, so you wouldn't have to do it. Let's start, and don't miss anything - this post will change you life*!

Housework, stress and asthma

1. Saxbe, Darby E.; Repetti, Rena L.; Graesch, Anthony P., Journal of Family Psychology, Vol 25(2), Apr 2011, 271-281

Both wives and husbands who devoted more time to housework had higher levels of evening cortisol and weaker afternoon-to-evening recovery. For wives, husbands’ increased housework time also predicted stronger evening cortisol recovery. When both spouses’ activities were entered in the same model, leisure predicted husbands’ evening cortisol, such that husbands who apportioned more time to leisure, and whose wives apportioned less time to leisure, showed stronger after-work recovery.

2. Environmental working group: Cleaning Supplies and Your Health

People with asthma can be exceptionally sensitive to air contaminants, including those in ordinary cleaning products. A 2009 study led by Jonathan Bernstein, a physician and leading asthma and allergy researcher at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine, measured worsening symptoms in asthmatic women after they had completed housecleaning tasks (Bernstein 2009).

This puts paid to housework.

Fatty food vs cancer

Researchers from the British Columbia Cancer Research Centre found that mice that ate a South Beach-like diet composed of 15 percent carbohydrates, 58 percent protein and 26 percent fat had slower tumor cell growth than mice that ate a typical Western diet of 55 percent carbohydrates, 23 percent protein and 22 percent fat.

So another myth - that of lean and mean diet - goes down the drain!



Spending a lot of time on your sofa

Is healthy, as it was proven.

After three months, the expedition is over: its 14 crew members have at last set foot on planet Earth again. They never really left it of course: they were all volunteers for the long-term bedrest experiment conducted by ESA, CNES and NASDA at the MEDES space clinic near Toulouse.

All have just completed a tour of duty of 90 days lying down, their heads tilted 6 degrees below their feet - an unnatural position that goes a long way to simulating some of the effects of weightlessness on the human body. Closely monitored by MEDES clinical staff, the volunteers have been simulating a long-duration space mission.

And the results? After undergoing a series of tests, it appeared that the participants' spirit was very high, they were calmer and more focused. So, if you care about your mental health, the horizontal lifestyle is for you!

Smoking against Parkinson's disease

Temporal relationship between cigarette smoking and risk of Parkinson disease
E.L. Thacker and others.

During follow-up, 413 participants had definite or probable PD confirmed by their treating neurologists or medical record review. Compared with never smokers, former smokers had a relative risk (RR) of 0.78 (95% CI 0.64 to 0.95) and current smokers had an RR of 0.27 (95% CI 0.13 to 0.56). On average, participants with more years smoked, more cigarettes per day, older age at quitting smoking, and fewer years since quitting smoking had lower PD risk. The relative risks and trends did not vary significantly by sex. The cumulative incidence of PD was lowest among participants who quit smoking at later ages. A 30% to 60% decreased risk of PD was apparent for smoking as early as 15 to 24 years before symptom onset, but not for smoking 25 or more years before onset.

No comments necessary.

Prolonged sleep reduces your weight

Simple and amazing at the same time:

Researchers at the University of Chicago found that dieters who were well rested lost more fat—56% of their weight loss—than those who were sleep deprived, who lost more muscle mass. (They shed similar amounts of total weight regardless of sleep.)

There are another 10 or 12 benefits of sleep in that article, so read it all. And you know what to do afterward: take a nap.

Washing removes your skin's natural protection

And while keeping your skin fresh and clean is important, over-washing should be avoided, says Dr Nick Levell, consultant dermatologist at Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital. 'Many people wash far too much,' he says. 'If you have dry skin then you shouldn't wash more than twice a week unless you're visibly dirty or smelly.

Check. And keep this case in mind.

Coffee against Alzheimer (and Parkinson too!)

Here:

"Epidemiological studies first revealed an inverse association between the chronic consumption of caffeine and the incidence of Parkinson's disease," according to Mendonça and Cunha.

And:

Later a few epidemiological studies showed that the consumption of moderate amounts of caffeine was inversely associated with the cognitive decline associated with aging as well as the incidence of Alzheimer's disease.

It gets better and better, but wait, there is so much more.

Made up bed and dust mites

Who is unfamiliar with the frightening pictures of this animal that infests your bed and endangers your health and well being? And what married man isn't thrown out of the bed in the morning, because "I must make up the bed!"? So there:

Research suggests that while an unmade bed may look scruffy it is also unappealing to house dust mites thought to cause asthma and other allergies. A Kingston University study discovered the bugs cannot survive in the warm, dry conditions found in an unmade bed.

Yeah...

Cursing helps to fight pain

This necessary tool in our arsenal was vilified by women (and some of the us, too) as long as people speak, I guess. However - Swearing Can Actually Increase Pain Tolerance:

Researchers from Keele University’s School of Psychology have determined that swearing can have a ‘pain-lessening effect’, according to new study published in the journal NeuroReport.

Dirtmouth the pain, folks!

Alcohol improves hearing

Moderate alcohol consumption and hearing loss: a protective effect.

In multiple logistic regression analyses controlling for potential confounders, moderate alcohol consumption (>140 grams/week) was inversely associated with hearing loss (PTA(.5,1,2,4 > 25 dB HL); odds ratio [OR] = .71, 95% confidence interval [CI] = .52, .97; where PTA is pure tone average). A similar association was found for moderate hearing loss (PTA(.5,1,2,4 > 40 dB HL); OR = 0.49, 95% CI = 0.32, 0.74). Alcohol consumption was associated inversely with the odds of having a low frequency hearing loss (OR = 0.61) or a high frequency hearing loss (OR = 0.60).

So have a few, do you hear?

Computer games improve the brain functioning

That:

A group of researchers at the University of California, San Francisco have spent the past four years conducting a study that shows playing multitaking video games could improve brain fuction, both in the game and in real world tasks.

Say that you always suspected so, didn't you?

And now to the last, but far from the least:

Frequent masturbation can save you from prostate cancer

And more, for instance cure your hay fever:

Spring is here and with it come the woes of hay fever. Never fear, however, as there may be a quick and pleasurable treatment to clear those bunged noses, for guys at least – a well-timed ejaculation.

That's what Sina Zarrintan, a neurologist from the Tabriz Medical University in Iran proposes, anyway. The logic behind the proposal is based on the fact that the nose and the genitals are both connected to the same part of the nervous system that controls certain reflexes – the sympathetic nervous system.

Now to the main point:

Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 who had not about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer.

While bloggers, politicians and similar are excused from this activity, it being superfluous in their case, other men should take to it fervently.

Conclusion

If you are already a lazy, dirty couch potato, beer-swilling and coffee-guzzling smoker with a passion for oversleeping, fatty foods, unmade beds, computer games, cursing and abusing self like mad - you are on the right way to health and happiness. Actually, why would you need more happiness when you have all these things on the list - beats me.

And if you are still behind on all or some of these activities, make a list and try to correct your ways - ASAP, your health is in balance, man!

(*) Unless, of course, you are already following all these recommendations. Then you are, unquestionably, saved.