11 January 2014

People of the world: "Sheik" Nasrallah needs your love. And a world-shattering Chexclusive!

While this here blog tends to treat the famous groundhog of Beirut with a measure of derision usually reserved for more important political figures, it couldn't be denied that Hasan Nasrallah is a human being. As such, due to his heroic seclusion in an underground facility, he is in need of more love than other simple mortals. While his outwardly tough televised performances try to hide this, from time to time the need erupts, like in this case.

Hezbollah leader Nasrallah commented on the affair in his recent address, without mentioning Fairuz's name. "I understand that no one is permitted to voice expressions of love here," he said. "If someone voices an expression of love for someone else, it immediately sparks an outrage and can lead to the destruction of the country we all love."
No sentient being could disregard this bitter cry of a soul, isolated for so long (eight years by now) in a dump underground shelter. For no reason whatsoever, I haste to add, but this is immaterial for the purpose of this post.

So, dear reader(s), if you are a warm-blooded human being and not some NSA (or Google) bot, please do find a way to express your love to this person. Even if you hate his guts. I think that a dried flower, pressed inside a book* for some time and sent to Sheik Nasrallah, Beirut, Lebanon, care of Iranian embassy, will do. Or a colorful postcard with a view of some seaside resort (no nudes and/or semi-nudes, please). Something in this vein, you see what I mean by now. Nothing outrageously expensive, like a Hellfire missile or a bunker buster... just some love.

(*) As long as it is a proper Islamic book, of course.

This issue aside, you are now invited to witness the biggest scoop of the XXI century: the unveiling of the sixth child of Ernesto "Che" Guevara. It is a matter of record that the late creep hero of the proletariat had 5 kids: Hilda (1956–1995), Aleida (b. 1960), Camilo (b. 1962), Celia (b. 1963), Ernesto (b. 1965). But (and remember where you read it first, please!) there is at least one other child that is not mentioned in his official biography.

First, a historical reference: we have reported here on the first long stay of Che in Israel in 1965. However, the truth of his Jewish roots was disclosed to him by his mom long before this date. And Che, known for his fierce loyalty to causes, has thrown himself wholeheartedly into the Zionist intelligent service abroad (spying, in short). Since his cover as a revolutionary was good with many other terrorist freedom fighting outfits, Che was warmly accepted in Lebanon by local insurgents. By some even more warmly then by others, and the result of this warmth was: yes, ladies and gentlemen, I give you a hitherto unknown sixth child of Ernesto "Che" Guevara - no other than "Sheik" Hassan Nasralla (born in 1960). Here is the irrefutable proof:

(The eyeglasses in the regular T-shirt picture on the left were added to attenuate the likeness).

Notice the considerable effort made by the youngster to keep his facial hair and his headgear similar to his dad's...

Of course, being born of an Islamic mom, young Hassan can't be considered Jewish, not according to Halacha. But the blood will tell, you shall see it.

So there. Now you know one of the well-kept Elders' secrets. Rejoice!