10 September 2013

Russian tourists: even the bears aren't safe

This story, that appeared on a Russian site URA.ru, was helpfully translated on Facebook by the Kansas City blogger KCMeesha.

So I filched the text from KCMeesha's Facebook page. Enjoy.

Serious injuries resulted from a bear's encounter with tourists from Chelyabinsk* at the Tatra National Park (Poland). Animal was operated on and sent to recover at the Krakow Zoo, and the employees of one of the steel mills 37-year-old Vasily Dubenko and 29-year-old Alexei Pavlovich will be forced to pay for his medical treatment and answer according to the law on the protection of nature, the correspondent «URA.Ru» citing  Humbug.pl.

As it turned out, Chelyabinsk residents were on a week-long vacation in Zakopane and decided to take a trip to the Tatra National Park in the Sea Eye. Excursion to the Roztoki Valley was interrupted by the incident. "At 10:45 we received a signal from the tourists coming from Palenica direction to the Sea Eye, that the two men are beating a bear...with their fists. Of course, we did not believe this report, but repeated calls persuaded us to intervene. To our surprise, we did discover the unconscious bear and two bloodied citizens of the Russian Federation, Vasily D. and Alyosha P."- said employees of the Tatra National Park.

As it turned out, Chelyabinsk residents entered the territory of the national park without paying for a ticket. They thought a bear was a disguised employee of the park, and, afraid they got caught, decided to conduct a "preventive" attack. "We did not know it was a bear," - said Vasily Dubenko embarrassed. "We wanted to punch him in the face once, so he would leave us alone. Oh, and a fight broke out," - adds Alexey Pavlovich.

As a result of the accident the bear, which park workers affectionately call Samson, was tranquilized and taken to the surgical clinic of Krakow. The animal was operated on by putting 9 stitches just on his head and removing a broken canine tusk. Samson is now undergoing rehabilitation at the zoo.

(*) Chelyabinsk is a city that has become a source of a myriad jokes in Russia lately. The fair citizens of Chelyabinsk are considered to be the toughest and the roughest in the country. Russians have a popular genre of jokes that start with: “Chelyabinsk blokes are so hard that...”. They all stem from the idea that Chelyabinsk has pretty tough living and working conditions. The best example is that joke born after the meteorite strike in the vicinity of the city. It says:
Meteorite dwellers view approach of Chelyabinsk with horror.
'Nuff said.

Update: I was asked to give a few additional examples of Chelyabinsk's people toughness. So here they come:
  • Chelyabinsk children are so tough they eat candy with the wrapping.
  • Chelyabinsk virgins are so tough they make men cry after sex.
  • Chelyabinsk weathercocks are so tough, they set the wind direction.
  • Chelyabinsk porn is so tough that it was banned in Germany.
  • Chelyabinsk junkies are so tough they use IVs instead of syringes.
  • Chelyabinsk men are so tough they shave with chainsaws.
  • Chelyabinsk designers are so tough they use only MS Paint.
  • Chelyabinsk parents are so tough they make their kids watch Teletubbies up until they reach 18.
  • Chelyabinsk rappers are so tough they perform at KKK meetings.
  • Chelyabinsk postmen are so tough they bite dogs.
  • Chelyabinsk circus is so tough they sell tickets to exit, not enter the show.
  • Chelyabinsk is the Motherland of toilet emery paper and steel dummies for babies.
  • Chelyabinsk's system administrators are so hard that they crimp RJ-45 jacks onto twisted-pair cables with their teeth.
  • Chelyabinsk's system administrators are so hard that their users work on abacuses only.
  • Chelyabinsk's alcoholics are so hard that they don't drink vodka. They swallow it together with a bottle.
  • Chelyabinsk's babushki (old ladies) are so hard that in buses even drivers give up seats to them.
  • Chelyabinsk's businessmen are so hard that they sell heroin to Afghanistan.
  • Chelyabinsk's ATMs are so hard that they give 1 kopeck coins at withdrawals.
  • Chelyabinsk's bloggers are so hard that they copy-paste and comment "War and peace".
  • Chelyabinsk's traffic policemen are so hard that they stop even airplanes and fine pilots.
  • Chelyabinsk's DVD-writers are so hard that they write even on vinyls.
Etc and ad infinitum.


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Pretty puny bear. Bring 'em to Alaska and let 'em take on a Grizzly. I don't think so.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Never underestimate a citizen of Chelyabinsk, esp after a bottle or two of vodka...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

A bottle or two? You must talking about our babies...

BTW, have you seen this nice photo of our gravel?


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yep, I have seen that one.