Chinese virginity-faking devices are a Zionist plot

Once again the subject is broached by the media:

Egyptian politicians have demanded that an ‘Artificial Virginity Hymen’ kit be banned in the country, calling it a “mark of shame”.

Shame or fame, who will be the judge? Anyway, this time the article contains a link to the offending device seller. Which is rather more free publicity, I suspect.

After searching for some references to the manufacturer (a Japanese one, if you read the small letters on that site) in the Elders' archive, we have come up with a discovery of another ancient plot by the Elders' eugenics department.

It appears that the liquid contents of the kit are choke full of identical spermatozoons produced in our secret laboratory by cloning. The boys are especially strong and equipped by spermicidal abilities to enable them to win the race to the egg by eliminating competition.

Most important, they all look like this one:

It is also guaranteed that the babies will all be male and will all look like that. For this reason the Elders' requested and were granted a special dispensation from the Chief Rabbi: the babies will be considered Jewish notwithstanding the fact that the moms are not. "With such a punem there is no doubt the kid is a Yid", Chief Rabbi decreed flatly.

Oh, and by the way, the statement "This item will be shipped from China" on the linked site is misleading. For Egyptian customers it will travel in a jiffy from a much closer address... And there is a special discount for repeat customers.