13 May 2007

Reading comprehension problems

This JP headline really threw me:


Isn't it akin to: "A Swiss citizen caught allegedly stealing a Syrian watch"?

Hmm...

And another headline, this time by Ynet:


Shouldn't it be the other way around: "Ofakim man suspected of breaking into synagogue while injuring himself" ? In any case, the story is interesting by itself:
A resident of the town of Ofakim is suspected of breaking into a synagogue, falling out of the second floor window and injuring himself after hitting a table. The man, in his forties, told the police that he left his house after quarreling with his wife, but could not explain how he reached the synagogue table. He received medical treatment and will later be arrested.
A mental blackout after having it out with the spouse should be officially recognized as an alibi, I respectfully submit.

And here comes a mouthful:

Ruiz told The Associated Press that an armed man between 17 and 20 years old from Uzbekistan entered the embassy with his mother and took five men and two other women hostage. The man's mother was being considered a hostage by police.
Schlepping his mom to the other side of the world for a measly Russian embassy? Come on, just consider the travel expenses...

Minister ignores most of criticism directed at him in Winograd Commission's interim report, says war probe committee reached very important conclusion when it said a civilian could serve as defense minister.
How to tell it to the man gently? Aw, fuck it... It is like... exactly like this:

Zimbabwe won approval on Friday to head a key U.N. body charged with promoting economic progress and environmental protection despite protests from the U.S., European nations and human rights organizations.
See, what I mean? No? I thought so...

A vandal defaced the giant portrait of China's late Chairman Mao Zedong that hangs over the Forbidden City on Saturday, prompting police to clear the area and adjacent Tiananmen Square, witnesses said.
I would say that it is rather the portrait of Mao that defaces the Tiananmen Square, but it is probably due to my retrograde taste. Or my reading comprehension problems.

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