27 February 2006


As it is only too well known, Moses, aside of his sterling qualities as a spiritual leader of our people, decision maker, confidant of the Creator, etc., was not a very successful tour guide. To start with the unfortunate necessity to part the Red Sea waters, caused by a simple navigation mistake (holding the map upside down), the 40 years of wandering in the desert and the choice of the location for the settlement...

Not only is the location a bit on the poor side where the milk is concerned and not precisely the world empire of honey, but, ironically, being in the middle of the most oil-infested area in the world, it does not have any oil to speak of.

But now, after ten years of clandestine and dangerous work, the pioneering horizontal shaft project is finished, and Israel became the world leading oil producer!

In this picture you can see a seemingly innocent drilling rig on unspecified location near Eilat.

The rig, however, is only a tip of an iceberg. This diagram presents the real picture.

A mine shaft (A) leads down to an underground chamber (B), where a horizontal drilling device was activated ten years ago. And the unique 200 kilometers long shaft (C) connects the Eilat location directly to a huge underground sea of oil (D) near a desert village El Sharmuta in Saudi Arabia. Saudis kept the discovery of that oil field secret, intending to keep it for the rainy day. Not anymore.

This picture shows the path of the shaft from the Eilat location to El Sharmuta. As you see, some of the shaft (in red) passes under the Kingdom of Jordan, and thus Israel and Jordan will share the spoils.

The last, but not the least, issue was where to keep all that unbelievable quantity of crude oil. An ingenious solution was required. Jordanian and Israeli engineers decided on the North part of the Dead Sea. It was almost totally dried down and not used very much anyway.

The pumping operation is almost finished, and as you can see in the picture, black oil is filling up the northern part of the Dead Sea almost to the brim.

Re the legal issue of ownership: since the horizontal drilling was unheard of until now and, besides, the existence of the oil field near El Sharmuta was kept secret, Saudis decided not to sue at this point in time, hinting darkly at some future retribution.

In related news:

President Putin's special envoy to OPEC tabled a motion to accept Israel and Jordan as full members of this organization. All but one members voted for the decision. The one member mentioned - Saudi Arabia - abstained.

Ayatollah Khamenai and president Ahmadinejad called acting PM Ehud Olmert to express their admiration and tell him about the warmest friendship that always existed between the Iranian people and the Jews.

Ehud Olmert convened a press conference, where he presented a new Israeli political platform. He stressed repeatedly the importance of brotherhood of Semitic nations in the area, the urgent need to free the Middle East of the Euro- and Amero-imperialist yoke and the establishment of Caliphate from Atlantic Ocean to the Yantze river. "Never", said Olmert, "have the Jews had it so good as during the times of the Caliphate and the benevolent and wise rule of the Caliph."

President Hugo Chavez called Olmert to set a date for his visit. Olmert promised him an authentic IDF paratrooper uniform, red boots included.

Abdallah, King of Jordan, declared that he is flying to Damascus next week with a sole purpose to shave off president Assad's mustache. "Now that I have all the dough in the world, I will pay this little Hitler whatever it takes for the pleasure of shaving this pitiful growth under his nose myself".

Cross-posted on Yourish.com