06 February 2006

The Jew, the Pharaoh and the enema

There is an ancient story passed by Jews from one generation to another.

Once upon a time there was a Pharaoh. Whether he was a successful one or a failure is not that important, suffice to mention that he became old and frail and, eventually, got so sick that all his doctors, magicians, herbal and camel dung experts and other health-related professionals failed to cure his malady. Of course, all of them were punished, some beheaded, some thrown out of the palace, but mostly both.

Seeing that uninspiring picture of failure after failure and punishment after punishment, physicians started to shun Egypt and no matter how high was the bonus promised by the authorities, no one agreed even to check up on the poor Pharaoh. His health rapidly deteriorated, and no hope in sight.

Suddenly an old Jew approaches the palace guard and asks to see the Pharaoh, promising to cure him. After the usual beating up and before throwing him away, the high Vizier suddenly realized that there is nothing to lose by letting the Jew to have a go at Pharaoh's health. In the worst case, his failure will become a good opportunity to tax the Jews a bit more as a punishment for that chutzpa.

So, the Jew enters Pharaoh's bedroom and, instead of checking the emperor's vital signs or performing some other medical mumbo-jumbo, asks that the biggest enema that could be found in the fair land of Egypt be brought in and prepared for action.

The picture above shows a fine old enema - just imagine it in a much, much bigger volume - after all, things in ancient Egypt tended to be big.

Since the Jew is (temporary) in control of the treatment, the Vizier grants the request, and the enema is brought in and primed. Now, the Jew commands - stick it to me and know no mercy!

The amazed helpers do as he requests. And, a miracle of all miracles happens: seeing the old withered Jew crying from pain, been fairly blown apart by that huge enema - Pharaoh starts to laugh, rises from what everyone thought was his deathbed - and is cured!

Since then, as that ancient Jewish story tells, each time when a Pharaoh get sick, Jews get the enema.

So, why have I pulled out that old venerable story? That is, besides passing it to the next generation and reminding all of us about the amazing impact laughter has on our health. Here is why.

The nice folks from the AEL - Arab-European League have chosen to embrace freedom of speech. That decision, of course, is triggered by the notorious cartoons about that Mohammed bloke.

I think
that this move should be encouraged and hailed. Of course, it will take some time before some of the members of that league understand what exactly the freedom of speech is about. Maybe they will even find a few inconsistencies in the following conclusion:

"Yes Arabs and Muslims are uptight when you touch their religious and national symbols, but Europe had made of political correctness and the cult of the Holocaust and Jew-worshiping its alternative religion and is even more uptight when you touch that. Europeans might not respect their flags, and they might laugh with Jesus and Mary but if you touch their new religious symbols, they will bombard you with indignation and persecute you in the best European inquisition tradition."

"I am for the absolute freedom of speech everywhere, and that'’s why I call upon every free sole among Arabs to use the Danish flag as a substitute for toilet paper. To illustrate every wall with graffiti making fun of everything Europe holds as holy: dancing rabbis on the carcasses of Palestinian children, hoax gas-chambers built in Hollywood in 1946 with Steven Spielberg'’s approval stamp, and Aids spreading fagots."

(The author of the above forgot to mention that not only Europeans, but the insidious Mossad is after the AEL as well. And they are not aware yet of the horrors that the Elders have in stock for them!)

Maybe, even, they will teach their more impulsive brethren that calling to kill, dismember and burn people for a few cartoons is not exactly what freedom of speech is about. But it may come later. When they chill out a bit after a few infidel beers.

Meanwhile, there is an interesting question to consider. The offending cartoons appeared in a Christian country, in a Christian newspaper. What, inquiring minds want to know, makes AEL folks to spend their bile on Jooz? The linked cartoons are not very insulting to Jooz, by the way - they are crude, stupid and tell a lot about a) their creator and b) the people who publish them.

Yeah, so - why
Arab-European League decided to waste their precious freedom of expression on Jooz? Is it because they are less afraid of Jews burning down their homes and blowing up their precious asses than they are afraid of surrounding Christians? Or because of that ancient tale?

It may be a grave mistake, ladies and gentlemen of AEL - after all, these Mossad teams are everywhere. Not to speak about the "fagots" that just dream about spreading Aids via your highly praised posteriors.

So - take a good look at that enema - it may be closer to you now than you imagine...

P.S. I forgot to inquire: that "free sole" in the "I call upon every free sole among Arabs..." - which of the following dictionary definitions does it fit:

1. The underside of footwear or a golfclub
2. Lean flesh of any of several flatfish
3. The underside of the foot
4. Right-eyed flatfish; many are valued as food; most common in warm seas, especially European