03 November 2013

About the Jordanian who spied in Saudi Arabia for Israel

Saudis are proud of their counter-intelligence (a very potent pair of words, don't you think?) coup:

Though details regarding the man or his arrest were unclear, Saudi daily al-Riyadh said a special court had determined that the accused contacted Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and that he spoke with an Israeli intelligence officer and sent him a picture via email. The court determined that the man agreed to work with Israeli intelligence for a fee.

The accused was also convicted of drug use and adultery, according to al-Riyadh.
Well, we are caught, no buts about it. And when you are caught, full confession is the best way to deal with it. So here, a transcript of the fateful phone conversation (Bibi stands for one and only Benjamin Netanyahu and Jspy - for the Jordanian spy to be). And don't thank us, thank the valiant Saudi sleuths.

04:30 AM (Jerusalem time). A phone call is answered after 9 rings.
Jspy: Hello, am I speaking with Mr Netanyahu?
Bibi: Argh... urgh... Sarah, what time is it? Who is it? Where am I?
Jspy: Mr Netanyahu, my name is er... oh... Jordanian Spy, and I have...
Bibi: Is that you, Yvett*? Do you know what time it is? It will cost you. Aside of breaking a few bones, I'll make sure you are going to do some serious time now...
Jspy: No, no, Mr Netanyahu, please listen to me. I am a real Jordanian spy, here is my photo [feverishly clicking on his smatphone]. I want to work for you, I mean for the Zionist Ent... I mean for Israel as a spy in Saudi Arabia.
Bibi [after a pause while clicking on his smartphone]: Oh... I see. I mean I don't see. Why would you do a fool thing like this? Is it that you are a Zionist?
Jspy: No no, not at all [sharp inhalation on the other end]. Well, just a bit, of course, like everyone... no, I mean, well, of course I have only the best feelings towards you country, but there is also a financial side to this, surely you understand...
Bibi: Now you are talking. So how much do you expect to draw as salary for spying in Saudi Arabia?
Jspy: ...

[The asking sum, as the ensuing bargaining and its result, will remain secret. That because of  our convoluted fiscal regulations and the new Minister of Finance what looks over Bibi's shoulder like a freaking vulture, not to mention the difficulties with foreign currency transfers].

Jspy: Thank you, Mr Netanyahu, sir, this will be satisfactory. There are two other things, though... er...
Bibi: What is it, man, come out with it already. I have less than an hour to sleep now.
Jspy: Well, you know, there are difficulties with getting some quality weed in Saudi Arabia. They catch you buying - it's your right hand for the first time and your right leg the next...
Bibi: Not a problem at all, my dear Jspy. I will give you a contact in Dubai embassy in Riyadh. He supplies only the best Colombian Red. Finger-licking stuff, I must say. And what was that other problem?
Jspy: Well, Mr Netanyahu, it's kinda embarrassing, but now that you are my handler... you see, I am a virgin and already 48 years old, so I...
Bibi: Say no more, say no more, you called just the right man. Now listen to me and listen to me good... er... let me move to another room first, Sarah is sleeping here, so we don't want to disturb her...

[The rest of the conversation omitted as not containing anything of interest to the public]

Well, you know the rest of the story. Convicted for spying, drug use, adultery - the whole book, in short. Now, do you believe the transcript above as recorded? No? Then you shouldn't believe the whole story. Stranger things than a suspect contacting PM to get a spying job have happened, but...

(*) Avigdor Lieberman.

10 comments:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I see NSA is not the only one who wiretaps prime ministers.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Slow Joe Biden, for sure. But Kucinich? You're talking about Willie Nelson's favorite candidate for president.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

You would be amazed (perhaps) how far the Lancer has fallen in my/his hometown. He is unmentionable now. Has, in fact, been rudely scrubbed from the public eye like so many Politburo members were from the old official Soviet photographs.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Imagine the boredom... no, actually, no one can imagine it.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

I don't know much about the man, aside of his somewhat left-leaning views on selected topics. Oh well, far as I am concerned, all politicians have a claim on reptilian ancestry.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Which fact is a bit unfair, considering that all cycling champions doing the same on the quiet, with only some of them caught. But whatever, I can't be too excited about this sport.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Video proof that reptilians have no grasp of poetry or any of the arts, for that matter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RMDYRNUV7o4

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Thanks - that one could easily drive David Icke bonkers... what I am talking about, he is already bonkers!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Vultures use drugs?! An don't tell me that they are able to mate without marrying before!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Jordanian once obviously do. And as for mating before (and after) marrying - just look at Bibi...