20 February 2013

Mossad-grown rats overrunning Tehran

This story, told by Ynet with an obvious dose of gloating, is interesting by itself:

London's Times newspaper says Tehran's environmental agency using sniper teams against rodents running rampant in 26 districts.

The creatures have grown increasingly resistant to rat poison, the Times said, so the council is resorting to less conventional means and has deployed 10 sniper teams who go out at night to hunt their prey with rifles equipped with infra-red sights.

“We use chemical poisons to kill the rats during the day and the snipers at night, so it has become a 24/7 war,” said Mohammad Hadi Heydarzadeh, head of the environment agency.
But of course, one shouldn't be really surprised. To start with, consider the squirrels of 2007:
Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation's borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.
Then the pigeons of 2008:
Security forces arrest suspected 'spy pigeons,' near Natanz reactor. Last year 14 squirrels were seized on espionage claims. Fate of captive birds unknown.
Of course, rats, especially the huge, invulnerable to poison ones, were developed by the Zionists quite a while ago and tested at home:
The Palestinian Authority's official news agency Wafa says Israel is using rats to drive Arab families out of their homes in the Old City of Jerusalem. In the past the news agency, which is controlled and funded by PA President Mahmoud Abbas's office, has accused Israel of using wild pigs to drive Palestinians out of their homes and fields in the West Bank.
Pigs are also mentioned, but rats' portability and birthrate obviously won the day for the rodents.

So now Iranians, instead of peacefully developing their nuclear industry, are burdened with that plague, having to waste the time and the talent of their snipers.

On the other hand, seeing as how the space-faring efforts of Tehran are progressing, maybe they could send the rats off to space? 

Next: the plague of frogs. Read about it here!


SnoopyTheGoon said...

Don't forget that the Mossad has trained monkeys, hippos, vultures, giraffes, and of course sharks. It is well known that Mossad HQ in Cairo is in the Cairo Zoo. Headed by Hymie the Hippo and with George the Giraffe as lookout, they have transmitted information on Egypt's military for decades.

And Sammy the Shark has terrorized tourists in the Sinai and Gaza for years now.

And we are supposed to be afraid of these idiots?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Don't the Iranians realize that violence is never an answer. Perhaps an outreach program or funding for rat gender studies. A little sensitivity training should do the trick.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

This bunch of rats actually comes from the US. The rennovation of the Pentagon and a number of other government buildings here in Washington have resulted in large numbers of rats being made homeless. The Dept of Defense collected these rats and infilitrated them into Teheran. (joke)

SnoopyTheGoon said...

How could I forget. This whole country is a veritable zoo, bursting with all these Mossad wildlife...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

That may very well resolve the issue, true.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Oh. That may explain the size.

But it doesn't explain why the rats are speaking Hebrew freely.

SnoopyTheGoon said...

One of the rats was overheard to say "F--k you, I work for Mel Brooks".

SnoopyTheGoon said...

After all, who needs a bunker buster?

SnoopyTheGoon said...