A offer of relief to San Franciscans

On a normal day I wouldn't do it, but this news was too touching:

Heartbroken customers lined up for meal at a closing San Francisco institution - a 100-year-old Chinese restaurant once known for having "the world's rudest waiter." Diners of decades past say he would verbally abuse patrons, slam down dishes, and chastise complainers.

Of course, we are not going to open a replacement Chinese eatery with rude personnel in San Francisco, but what we offer is the next best thing: send us your picture, name and birthday and we'll address at you several choice expletives - and do it for all to see, via this blog. It is a free personalized service for now, so hurry. The more adventurous of you could send us a picture with your mom, dad or both. Or even with your beloved pet.

The e-mail address is under "Contact us", you morons!