March 15th: EATAPETA (Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA) Day

Let me make it as clear as humanly and humanely possible:

1. I am not against vegetarians, I count at least 3 of the kind as my best friends.
2. I myself have been known to gnaw on a cucumber, tomato or even an occasional carrot (celery excluded, of course).
   
3. I am against people who watch other people's plates, other people's glasses and other people's cigarette holders/pipes/tobacco pouches.
4. I am against any kind of people who not only consider their way of life to be the best, but insist that others follow them in their brilliance or folly.

And most of all - I despise hysterical, tactless and stupid behavior so consistently displayed by the notorious jerks of PETA. Quoting Meryl:

So they do stupid things. Like run truly offensive ad campaigns? Or run a shelter with a 97% kill rate. Or wear KKK costumes to protest a dog show. (Yes, really.)

Or quoting myself:

When you think that cheap and revolting propaganda cannot get any cheaper and more revolting, here come PETA puppets - a pitiful result of accidental cross-breeding between STD and Ebola - with a new idea.

So, folks - nothing personal, but tomorrow's EATAPETA day, so here:

I commit myself to at least four different (vegetarian all!) animals on that day, cheeses, eggs, fish and miscellaneous insects and bacterias swallowed by mistake notwithstanding.

Bon appetit!