A tragedy unveiled: Sean "Diddy" Combs grounds his private jet

This is a day of deep mourning for me, after this shocking discovery:

Sean "Diddy" Combs wants you to know celebrities are feeling the rise in gas prices, too, and wants his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" to help him out.

Now, please understand my situation: a few hours ago I didn't know Sean "Diddy" Combs from a deep sea mackerel (is there a deep sea mackerel anyway?), but this tearful plea for support has really squeezed my heart:

"As you know, I do have my own jet, but I've been having to fly back and forth to L.A. pursuing my acting career . Now, if I'm flying back and forth twice a month, that's like $200,000, $250,00 round trip. F--- that. I'm back on American Airlines."

Dontcha even think of laughing, you freaks. The man is truly suffering, and if you heart doesn't bleed for him, you must be an inhuman monster, I swear!

"Give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters and all the brothers and sisters in all the countries that have oil — if you could please send me some oil for my jet, I would truly appreciate it," Diddy says, showing his commercial jet boarding pass to the camera.

Oh boy, what could I do? I am going to buy a jerrycan of jet fuel and Fedex it to him as soon as possible. You should too. I am confident that if we all pass a barrel around and if Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters come through too, we'll save Sean from that coach seat on American Airlines.

Amen and let's beat the motherf.....g gas prices!