Obamicas vs McKippahs

Our signals department has received the link to the new wave in Jooish religious worship as it is supposed to be practiced in US of A for the next few months. There are two main new items (or, in fact, only one - for two opposing political camps) on offer:

Besides the items being seriously overpriced (I suggest to call upon the election coffers of the two esteemed candidates), I definitely consider the offer being incomplete. It lacks an essential item that must be added to make the offer wholesome and American to boot.

I mean either a baseball bat or, if the above mentioned funds are insufficient, at least an appropriate length of regular 2x4 (1.5 ft is a recommended optimum). Of course, the items should be colored appropriately.

When the congregation members are suitably equipped and the basic training is complete, every temple should ensure sufficient space on its parking lot for the after-prayer dispute between the parties. Participation should be mandatory, but for the sake of fairness participants should be split in sub-teams according to the age and existing handicaps (if any).

The last participant standing will be the one to lead the next Sabbath prayer for the victory of the relevant candidate.

Betting between the female members of the congregation should be avoided (if humanly possible).

Go Obamicas! Go McKippahs!