09 March 2010

Please help Dubai police chief!

This is to answer the invitation by the chief for all the suspects to present him/herself to the Dubai police for DNA tests:

Dubai police chief Dahi Khalfan Tamim said on Friday that Israel should allow Dubai to conduct DNA tests on Israelis that Dubai suspects of participating in the assassination of senior Hamas operative Mahmoud al-Mabhouh in January.
Since this invitation contradicts the other announcement by the police chief that Israelis are no more allowed to enter Dubai, the Elders' extraordinary emergency meeting decided to resolve the conundrum using postal services.

According to the Elders' directive, Israeli postal services will accept DNA samples for express shipment to Dubai police chief. To facilitate the process, post offices will provide unbreakable plastic containers for liquid samples and Ziploc bags for solid ones. It is up to the sender to decide on the nature of the sample. A tasteful packaging with pre-printed address will be provided, see for example a 3 kg package sent yesterday by yours truly:

In addition to the (real) name and address, the sender will include two photographs: one from the list of photographs made by various Dubai snooping devices and one as in real life. A confession letter will be appreciated but not necessary.

An important notice: the invitation is extended only to the members of the pre-confessed I was also a part of the Dubai Assassination Squad group and their relatives (for DNA match purposes). No copycat enthusiasts, please.

More on the subject by Elder of Ziyon.


Dick Stanley said...

Very good. Hee. After all, he didn't specify what sort of material he wanted his DNA samples from.

jams o donnell said...

Given the number of suspects concerned can the postal services cope?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Barely, but when the Elders ask nicely they can.

David All said...

I will not be able to give my DNA untill after my annual medical check-up next month. I will be then glad to mail whatever remains of my samples that my doctor does not need to the Dubai police chief.

David All said...

OT, but funny: Go, Rush Go! Rush Limbaugh says he will move to Costa Rica if Obama's Health plan passes. "Rush Limbaugh: I'll Leave Country over Health Bill" at http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20000188-503544.html?tag=stack
Discussion of Rush's promise is at http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/3/9/844413/-We-get-health-care-reform,-we-get-rid-of-Rush-Limbaugh
where it is pointed out that Costa Rica already has National Health Care.  

Katie Norcross said...

A good excuse to clean out the Kitty Litter Box!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

No Katie, you don't really want your feline friend being pursued by Interpol!

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yeah, he needs to beef up on geography.