30 April 2006

So this must be fine, then.

A smallish article in JP attracted my wandering attention:

Iranian artillery fired more than 180 shells into northern Iraq, targeting Kurdish rebel bases, the Iraqi government said Sunday. The shells landed near the Iraqi village of Haj Omran, which is about five kilometers (three miles) inside the Iraqi-Iranian border, Iraq's Ministry of Defense said.

I have searched for other articles or a commentary on this one, but aside of the Kurdish source (also with reference to AP), couldn't find any. No indignant peacemongers, no governments' opinions, no NGO's raising their strong, albeit reedy, voices in protest against the obviously unlawful and hardly friendly act by a sovereign nation toward its neighbor. Aside of Kamal Karkouki, deputy speaker of parliament for the Kurdish regional administration, that is.

The most intriguing question: where are all the human right groups in Iran and why don't they follow suit of their Israeli and Palestinian colleagues? Hmm...

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

29 April 2006

Bottom feeders' time.

David Hirsch has done it again. In the article Slipping standards he is taking the Independent to task over the latest opus by the chief bottom-feeder of Independent, Mr. Fisk. Of course, David is also sticking his hand in the hornet's nest at the same time, publishing the article in the good old "comment is free". Nothing is free there - one pays out by his brain cells wasted on a dialog with the best and the ugliest I-brutes ever invented.

Quite some time passed since the community of more qualified people deconstructed and debunked point by point the quasi - scientific article by two beacons of modern learning - Mearsheimer and Walt.

It is quite surprising that it took Fisk so long to get wise to the plot and to join his powerful squeak to that of the two professors. Probably he was trying to get his head around the unequivocal approval of the article by David Duke, looking for a way to deal with that sore point. Or just the regular writers block. Or, maybe, drawing that flag took more than planned:

Only if you look at that picture for some time, can you grok the level of sophistication and deep thought hiding behind (or beyond) that picture. Definitely that trashing in the calloused hands of Afghani farmers did a lot of good to Mr. Fisk, one can just feel it.

We have some news for Fisk and his proponents. In the grand design of our world domination we, the Elders, definitely planned a room for so called "dissent". There always will be some grumbling, mostly by the unfortunates who are too stupid or too psyched out to be of any use to our outfit in that grand design. And we must keep on hand a few steam valves, like Indy and Graun in UK, to let these less fortunate to vent their steam, to let their bile flow free, to get it all out, in short. Even a world domination edifice must account for the need of a sewer pipe.

So, Fiskie, enjoy the "freedom" while it lasts. You, being one of the more literate ones, have the good fortune of expressing the frustration of the others of your ilk - the under-brained, the over-drunk, the impotent, the hungry-for-attention. Of course, they have a field day on "comment is free" as well, squeaking to their little black hearts' and minds' content, but you do it better. And in colors.

And do not keep worrying about Johnny Malkovich. He is a nice guy. A bit impulsive at times, but we have explained to him that it is not in our best interests to rub you off. A good trashing may be something completely different, though, so watch out.

Yes, and for enjoyment you may consider reading the comments to the article - just scroll down, at voila - you are in the GUTter!


The stream of the exciting search strings continues unabated. So here comes new installment of the FAQs.

Q: What is popular in Israel?

A: The usual stuff: usurping the world, some genocide on the side, warmongering, praying...

Q: Male chauvinism?

A: Asked SWMBO: she says that's not in fashion and I better say the truth. Or else.

Q: How do jews feel about plastic surgery?

A: The Elders' elite troops get a sizable (he he) benefit from it, see here. So of course we are pro-surgery.

Q: Snoopy sex?

A: No thanks, not right now.

Q: Peoples front liberation Judea?

A: A group of ineffectual, narcissistic and rather stupid do-gooders. We, in the Judean People Liberation Front are the real thing. Promise.

Q: Instinct + Beckham?

A: Yes, he was one of our androids. But due to some wiring errors it was decided to write him off and to sell him to a football club. You know the rest.

Q: Naked jews?

A: No, we are not that way.

Q: Erection suppressant?

A: Young we are definitely not, this is why we are called "The Elders". So thanks, but we think not.

Q: What does "too low cholesterol "mean?

A: Probably means that you are a vegan tree-hugger producing a lot of methane and destroying the ozone layer. Also that your IQ is very low due to said low cholesterol level. Have a good bloody steak, it may save you.

Q: Russian conspiracy birthmarks?

A: We have these. But the location and the form are rather embarrassing. Send us an e-mail.

Q: Zionist cloning?

A: Why, thanks, doing rather well. But we do not offer it commercially, this is only for the Chosen Ones.

Q: Low calorie Passover breakfast?

A: The mere thought is as anti-Semitic as anything the most rabid... Nah, just shut up.

Q: What it looks like?

A: Not in a public forum, please. You know the e-mail, apply there.

Q: What is "the graun"?

A: We are warning you that following our answer will make you into a most miserable, psychotic and hateful creature in no time. Now that you are warned, look here.

Q: Zionist crime us government?

A: Guilty as charged.

Q: Things you should know about Judaism?

A: Shouldn't be taken on an empty stomach. Otherwise - you might be better without it.

Q: Veyz mir meaning Yiddish?

A: Your daughter tells you that she is pregnant and the expecting father is a Jamaican drug dealer. This more or less describes the circumstances appropriate for the use of "Veyz mir".

A: Mormons and fagots 2006?

Q: We have unbound sympathy for both parties, but are not involved directly. Only on the fringes.

28 April 2006

Here's the rub: We're not illegal either.

Bradley Burston lives an interesting life, I can imagine. Being buffeted by waves of sound from the far left and from the far right is not an easy business. Especially in a country where the mere definition of "far left" and "far right" is so different from what a "normal" Western brain could conceivably absorb.

Here comes another excellent piece by Bradley - Confessions of a legal Jewish settler. I wouldn't quote too much from it, leaving the pleasure to the less lazy readers. But this passage is a must:

We are, to put it most accurately, a-legal, in the same sense that the term amoral means neither moral nor immoral, somehow outside of the universe of right and wrong, somehow beyond the pale of moral judgments, distinctions, sensibility.

Over the years, Israelis in general have evolved a society in which individuals, in order simply to get by in daily life, find themselves bending laws, skirting regulations, ignoring edicts, defying highway rules, tax rules, building codes, zoning codes, television tax requirements.

True, Bradley - that's what we are, including me and you, I guess. Ornery bastards, every one.

The text quoted above is enough on its own to get that hornet nest mad, not to speak about the rest of the article. Just look at the comments...

Good show, Bradley.

27 April 2006

Joshua B. Bolten - welcome to the club.

We have already complained that our Eye is getting tired and easily distracted lately. What with the central location, frequented by many half-dressed Israeli girls (it is springtime here), the Pesach gluttony and the general senility, the Signals again failed in their duty.

If not the timely assistance of the Pillage Idiot (a mere tentacle tip, but sometimes valuable), we could have missed the advent of another Joo volunteering for the yoke of world domination.

Anyway, the Elders would like to congratulate Joshua Bolten, the new Chief of Staff in the land of our faithful puppets. Don't let the job to get to your head, dear Josh. Remember, it is only a facade, and a civilized one at that, of our intricate (not to say convoluted) domination machinery. This is why your Jooishness is being kept an open secret, so no worries on this account.

And if you encounter one of our real field operatives (you will be surprised how many of them are running around the White House, stepping on each other's toes), you must treat him/her with utmost respect and discretion, extending any assistance required and above that. For one of them you are bound to do it anyhow, since it in your job description. If you get the drift. Yeah, don't let the apparent low IQ, the smirk, the incessant falling of bikes and Segways and other character traits to fool you. Remember, it is all a play.

Yes, and do not be deceived by the skin color, gender, old age senility or incompatibility with the post due to conflict of interest. I believe you are beginning to think that you start to see the picture. Remember, if you do get this feeling - take a cold shower, it is an illusion.

And for all the readers who got to this point via the Google search of the type: "Is Bolten Jew" or "Joshua Bolten Jewish" - YES, HE IS JEWISH. Now fuck off.

What, no more whaling?

Israel agrees to join U.S., Australia anti-whaling coalition - it's a part of the mixed bag of news today.

Dunno: on one hand I like these cute and cuddly animals. On the other, I was so used to these weekend outings with my friends and family. The salty sea breeze, the search for the spout on the horizon, the excitement of the chase, the short flight of the harpoon sent by Shlomo's powerful hand - all that will be no more?

I shall ask SWMBO to talk to the children about it. They will be inconsolable, I know.

All Aboard Airbus' New Slaveship/Airplane!

I was told about this:

this morning and was sure it is a joke, and quite in a poor taste. It appears (thanks to Shane) that this is not a joke!

For those too lazy to register with NYT, follows an abstract:

Airbus has been quietly pitching the standing-room-only option to Asian carriers, though none have agreed to it yet. Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to experts who have seen a proposal.


Oh, man...

Prison Visitor Allegedly Uses Vagina To Smuggle Live Grenade

The headline is just a tiny bit imprecise, omitting the fact that the visitor has been using her personal vagina for the purpose. Anyway, it left me stunned.

SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador -- A Salvadoran woman is in some trouble after she allegedly tried to smuggle into the country's main prison a military grenade and marijuana hidden in her vagina.The cylinder was about 10 inches long and 4 inches wide. Officials didn't say what prompted them to check Lidia Alvarado, 44, but authorities have raised the security level at jails across the country, fearing inmates may be planning something. Alvarado was visiting two inmates serving 25 and 30 years when she was arrested. She now faces drug and weapons charges.Police who inspected the M-67 grenade said it was in working condition.

Grass and explosives make an interesting mix. Maybe Middle East shahids could learn from this example and add some weed to their explosive belts. It may make them groovy and more inclined to live.

About the alleged size of the cylinder, I am afraid that this is a bit of a Latino boastfulness. Here is a picture of the grenade with its dimensions (click to enlarge):

Still, it explains what prompted the guards to check the lady - she was probably walking a bit funny.

In any case, such dedication to the cause boggles one's mind. What's next?

Via: Pillage Idiot

26 April 2006

They learn that threats work. We learn to shut up.

Says Jan of the Secular Blasphemy blog. It is not that I am particularly concerned about German brothels, but... Read this.

Dollars in Kuwait?

$450,000 said stolen from PA finance minister during visit to Kuwait, according to Haaretz.

Palestinian Finance Minister Mahmoud al-Zahar has had $450,000 stolen from his hotel room during his current visit to Kuwait, the Itim news agency quoted the Kuwaiti media as saying Wednesday. According to the report, al-Zahar had asked the Kuwaiti authorities to keep the theft under wraps, but the incident was confirmed by a security official at the hotel.

There are several items of interest in this short piece of news:

The Finance Minister that lets money be stolen from him?
The hotel that does not wish to keep the news under wraps?

But most intriguing:

WTF Kuwaitis need such a measly amount for?

So who was surprised?

An Internet outlet named Israeli Forum in its news flash section:

It is not immediately clear who is it that is supposed to be surprised: Rumsfeld, Iraq or the visit itself.

(Haaretz folks, by the way, are not guilty, their headline is fine).

25 April 2006

Mahmoud A. as a stand-up comedian

That funny Iranian bloke Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is certainly redefining the envelope of the stand-up comedy, boldly and vigorously fighting his way to the top of this crowded genre. His new solo show tentatively named by Haaretz Iranian president says Israel cannot continue to exist is receiving rave reviews.

Before we go to the program itself, it must be mentioned that Mahmoud decided to spruce up for the new show. Most probably he is using that Saddam's tailor who is now out of a lucrative commission and is pining for new Names to add to his client list.

Of course, Mahmoud still looks like a village idiot, but this cannot be helped. At least he is a jacketed village idiot now. Now to the show itself.

In wide-ranging remarks, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Monday that Israel was an artificial state that could not continue to exist.

All states are artificial, Mahmoud. This is the second lesson a politician should learn, immediately after mastering that shit-eating grin you seem to perform with a certain flair.

"Some 60 years has passed since the end of World War II, why should the people of Germany and Palestine pay now for a war in which the current generation was not involved," Ahmadinejad told a press conference.

That's the way we, the Jooz, control the world, bro. It is called paying by installments. We have decided lots of years ago not to extract the full payment at once. That Shylock story is a good lesson: if you extract a vital organ, the rest of the body will not bring you money afterwards.

"Open the doors [of Europe] and let the Jews go back to their own countries," the president said Monday. He added that Europeans should jettison their "anti-semitism" to enable Israelis to "return" to their continent, and "allow Palestinians to decide their own fate and live freely."

We are real touched by your worry about the "anti-semitism" in Europe, Mahmoud. We believe that it is a passing phenomenon, and after another 50 or 100 million of your fellow Muslims move there, that scourge will be eradicated completely. Re the proposed move to Europe: as we have already agreed, we are ready to move to the place so far called Italy. But the locals, who were posted about that decision on time, keep dragging their feet. Their last reason for delaying their removal is that Fiat (that shitty brand most of them use) cars and trucks are not able to cross their borders, breaking down a few kilometers after the crossing. For crying out loud!

Ahmadinejad also hinted that Iran would consider withdrawing from the United Nations nuclear agency if membership produced no benefit. "What has more than 30 years of membership in the agency given us?" he asked rhetorically at a press conference.

Well, it kept you and your place from becoming so much molten glassy surface good only for cockroaches. It must count for something, ain't it?

The last but not the least:

Ahmadinejad often gives long, rambling speeches but Monday was one of the rare occasions when he allowed foreign journalists to question him. He seemed to enjoy the encounter, making jokes and putting questions to the reporters.

Putting questions to the reporters is really bad technique. These folks do not know a question from shinola, and the resulting confusion really lowers the class. Avoid at all costs.

Now be a good fellow, listen to our advice and the next time we are in Tehran we might drop by to see your show. Or just drop something on your place, whatever comes first.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

23 April 2006

Oh, David, I admire you!

David Hirsch is a real mensch. I admire his steadfastness and power of persevering in the face of implacable idiocy. Which (the idiocy) is prevailing in the murky waters of that new Guardian show named "Comment is free".

David published an excellent article Creeping prejudice and, as usual, got quite a lot of comments. I am not going to bore my faithful readers here with a potpourri. Just a choice sample from a lengthy comment by a person who calls himself Mike Corbeil and is (according to him, of course) a Canuck. Enjoy.

As for what Hitler led in terms of Nazism, people should not forget that he was born and raised a Jew, his mother, as far as I'm aware, always remained Jewish, and I never heard or read anything about Adolf Hitler having been against his mother's choice. I still need to find out precisely when he so-called converted to Christianity, and what the specific context was, including from some years prior, for it's possible that this was not a true conversion at all, in any sense whatsoever true, except that he was "blessed" with the label of being Christian, but which is a totally empty label, unless a Christian is true to this faith.

Peculiarly, and to the best of my recollection, both US V.P. Cheney and Sec. of Defence Rumsfeld were both Jews back in 2000 and, recently, I came across news that they're now and both Christians. Why? How? Who made this possible? Or, is it really true, or not? Assuming it's true, then why and how, and who performed this "blessing" of pure falseness?

There is more text in that post where the above comes from, so anyone could take a look and enjoy a hell of a lot more, but it's enough to make a point. At least I believe so.

As a special note to Mike Corbeil from the Elders: Mike, dear, that conversion to Christianity is a very simple trick for the last 100 or so years. Our advances (secret up till now) in surgery are a long story, but suffice to say that we have learned to grow back that small piece of skin that is being cut off from the you know what of you know who. It is amazing really - no signs of the person being ever a Jew! Now you are a Jew - now you ain't. Go figure...

In your place, Mike (and to tell you the truth, I wouldn't want to be in it), I would hold that "you know what" in your hand at all times. To prevent somebody coming at you with a scalpel. You may become a Jew quicker than it takes to say "Canadian Club". Take care.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Petition: Gaza shelling illegal

Ynet article says so. Attorney Michael Sfarad says so. Six Israeli and Palestinian human rights groups say so. So it must be true, isn't it?

You know what: if a French artillery unit was lobbing shells at, say, an Italian village over the border with France just for fun, I would agree wholeheartedly.

I would say even more: if a bloodthirsty Israeli general suddenly decided to rocket Amman (that's in Jordan, for those who forgot), I would agree that this general must either go on trial or have his brain examined.

As for the case of our Gazan cousins: you see, there is one crucial detail the article doesn't mention. It is that since disengagement, which I have always supported, the cousins launched a bit less than 600 Qassam rockets at us.

In my book it is a war, with all the consequences of one. Especially when the rockets are launched from the populated areas, which is of course done on purpose - just to put IDF in a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situation.

Nah. I am afraid this petition is a no brainer. Too bad.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

Until they get some brains

Just for comparison with that blustering article by Yaakov Katz: an article on same (more or less) subject by Yoel Marcus from Haaretz.

If Haaretz weren't such a respectable paper and so pedantic about its choice of language, I would begin like this: "Idiots you were and idiots you'll always be." These words do not apply to the Palestinians, but to their leaders. Every time they get close to achieving something, they shoot themselves in the foot - or the feet of their people, to be more exact.

Go on reading - it is a good one.

22 April 2006

Security and Defense: Is our policy exploding in our faces?

That's one loaded question. And it is asked by no other than our friend Yaakov Katz of Jerusalem post, giving a regular dressing-down to IDF in this article. He is usually deeply dissatisfied with IDF and this is just one example of the way he is giving hell to it.

Mr. Katz is so full of knowledge and expertise on all matters military that it is a surprise all our successive governments keep circumventing this clearly superior candidate for chief of staff.

Chief of Staff Lt.-Gen. Dan Halutz - whose stated goal has not been to eradicate terror, but to reduce it to a tolerable minimum - has so far decided to keep ground forces out of the Gaza Strip and to continue using long-distance precision strikes, such as artillery cannons and IAF fighter jets.

Yes, we know that from a JP keyboard it is much easier done than from the Halutz' office. And if you ask how, here is a piece of advice:

Four years ago, following the Pessah suicide bombing in Netanya's Park Hotel, Operation Defensive Shield was launched. It created an almost permanent militarily presence in the West Bank and brought about a drastic decrease in the number of suicide bombings. In contrast, the current campaigns in the Islamic Jihad's backyard in Nablus and Jenin (home of Monday's bomber) - "New Spring" in Nablus and "Tiger's Den" in northern Samaria - have officers claiming that the terror groups are not being penetrated as much as the army would have liked.

Clear now? "Officers claiming", eh? In general, the article is so peppered by the references to unnamed officers in general and General Staff in particular that I can easily imagine how Mr. Katz is frantically trying to keep up with all these phone calls from the agitated generals who cannot wait to open their hearts and minds to him.

NEVERTHELESS, AND despite some calls from within the IDF General Staff for a Defensive Shield-like operation in Samaria that would place tanks in downtown Nablus, Interim Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Defense Minister Shaul Mofaz have decided that Israel's response to Monday's attack would be in keeping with the current "precision-strike" approach.

And who has the real answer to al our problems, according to Mr. Katz? See for yourself:

WHILE OLMERT and defense chiefs scratched their heads to come up with the right response to Monday's attack and measures to prevent the next one, settlers in the West Bank and evacuees from Gaza were attributing the upsurge in terror to the government's policies of disengagement and "convergence."

That's another untouched spring of military wisdom "Olmert and defense chiefs" do not drink from (that in addition to Mr. Katz himself, of course).

Do you know what ROFLMAO means, Mr, Katz? Look it up in a dictionary. Meanwhile, being a goodhearted fellow, I shall show you my tomcat's response to your article:

The poor guy almost blew his lunch laughing. You can see him totally exhausted after rolling around for so long.

A regular comic that Yaakov Katz is, I declare. Did I mention that he is full of military knowledge? Well, this is not the only stuff he is full of.

21 April 2006

This is not a meme!

I have succumbed to the plague of "separated at birth", although my level of contamination is somewhat moderate. But I shall never surrender to that inane pastime of passing memes. Especially when the mere definition of a meme is so disfigured by the blogosphere as to leave practically nothing of its original meaning and intent.

Anyway, that was an aside. What I do have is a question to the male readers. Imagine a following situation:

  • You and your spouse (girlfriend, just a female friend or acquaintance, colleague...) are in a room (office, bedroom, living room, kitchen, ...).
  • You know the layout of the building you are in to the smallest detail and there are several ways to exit it.
  • Suddenly you detect (smell, see, hear,...) a presence of a criminal mind and body nearby.
  • Your companion is blissfully unaware of this presence, being fully occupied by sex (discussion, coffee+cake, office papers, crocheting, ...) .
  • The criminal is also not aware of your presence yet.
  • The criminal is equipped by the necessary implements of murder (gun, knife, bomb, vial of virus culture, ...) and will kill you and the female companion the moment he/she detects your presence.
  • The only way for you to save yourself and your companion is to withdraw absolutely quietly via one of the additional exits and to avoid detection by the criminal at all costs.
  • You start gesticulating to explain to the female companion that a) your and her life are in imminent danger; b) she must be absolutely quiet; c) you both must remove your shoes and leave via an unusual exit route without making a slightest noise.
Now the question is simple: do you know a person of female gender that will follow your instructions blindly, instead of responding to your messages in a way similar to one of the following:
  1. You insufferable turd, what do you thing you are trying to do here?
  2. Please leave me alone, I have a headache
  3. Are you out of your mind, dear?
Please let me know.

20 April 2006

Attacking THEM

It is inevitable (and good) that a high visibility declaration like The Euston Manifesto shall come under attack from all imaginable (some hardly, but...) points of the political compass.

Unfortunately, as the days pass, the voices of criticism that are heard more and more clearly are the cries of the "marginal" but extremely shrilly and extremely forceful extremes of that compass. These on the far right and far left. The ones you can hardly argue with, that will just not listen to a voice of moderation and sense. Which voice is normally sensible and moderate and simply does not raise to the decibel level of the extremists' histrionics.

There are three categories in this small but loudmouthed company I will mention here:

1. Selective nitpickers

This group disregards selected passages of the document, attacking other statements ripped out of the context. Norm himself deals with cases like these in his post of April 19.

2. "You are dealing with a tiny margin of no consequence".

A very widespread argument which has a simple purpose: to diminish the value of THEM by diminishing its "target". Two things should be said:

a) The purpose of THEM is not just negation of some tiny minority, but definition of a broad moral and political credo that should be valued by its own merits.

b) The worst atrocities in history were perpetrated by movements that started as a small marginal group of no consequence. I shall never tire repeating this to idiots of all colors.

3. Yeah, I know what you have written, but this is not what you think. What you really think is...

Surprisingly, this line of "argument" comes not only from an assorted E-space riffraff, but from persons with academic credentials as well.

Matt The Insomniac mentions this extremely irritating category as well here.

Of course, so far the most revolting example of this genre comes from here (do not bother to read after the line marked 2), that's quite enough). But there are many more of that ilk.

Oh well. I have put our reason for signing THEM as: "this looks like a voice of sanity in our oh so crazy days". I stand behind this statement, and the current wave of "criticism" only provides more support to it.

Too bad.

19 April 2006

Iranian group seeks British suicide bombers

Robert Tait (this time with Ewen MacAskill) keeps bringing interesting material from Tehran.

Although the story about the recruiting of suicide bombers in Iran is not exactly new (SimplyJews have already commented on it), there is a new twist to the plot. This time the recruiters are going for the British Muslims.

Relations between the west and the hardline Iranian regime are set to worsen after a Tehran-based group claimed yesterday it was trying to recruit Iranians and other Muslims in Britain to carry out suicide bombings against Israel.

The Committee for the Commemoration of Martyrs of the Global Islamic Campaign, which claims to be independent but has the backing of the regime, said it is targeting potential recruits in Britain because of the relative ease with which UK passport-holders can enter Israel.

A bit unclear why send these able and willing folks over the sea, when they are blowing up perfectly well where they live now? Besides, there is no underground (tube, metro, whatever) in Tel-Aviv, and our seekers of 72 free virgins are trained to blow up in eateries and buses, whereas the British ones are more underground-oriented. Seems to be a waste of training this way.

In any case, Jihad Islami proudly reports that they have an army of 70 martyrs ready to blow up at the time and place requested, so there is hardly a need to recruit and import foreign blowpower.

Oh well, whatever. We'll have to send some IDF units to London to bulldoze a few buildings of choice, but we are confident that we can manage some understanding with Brits for the moment. As far as we know, Hamas is not yet a ruling party there.

Meanwhile, it would be advisable for our friends (and enemies) abroad to take notice of the following statement by Mr. Samadi (the Iranian recruiter of future shahids):

"Britain and other European countries have a lot of disaffected Muslims who are ready. We understand the suspicion with which Britain, America and other western countries regard their Muslim populations. We don't condemn them for this because we believe every Muslim has the potential to turn into a bomb against the west."


Is sanity relative too?

In this days, when moral relativism seems to be gaining more and more ground with extreme sides of the political spectrum, I have stumbled on a single sane voice amidst an orgy of insanity.

Take a look at the comments on comment is free to the Yossi Alper's article "Hamas's blood test".

From the first insane post "Yes, you agree Israel should complete its ethnic cleansing and genocide of Palestine." to the end of it, the discourse follows, more or less, the insane pattern of Guardian Talk mudslinging matches.

And in the middle of it all, as a rare note that is in stark contrast with the cacophony of madness:

quirky April 18, 2006 02:32 PM

Did Abu Mazen condemn the recent suicide attack in TA? I must have missed it. All I heard him saying was that he condemned it because it was against the interests of Palestinians. Not because it was wrong to target women and children.

Thank you, quirky. Just the fact that you exist makes me feel a bit better.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

18 April 2006

A special menu for PETA members

Here. Aw, what the heck:


Where the Easter eggs come from?

It is not a secret anymore.

Reading Thamus

Thamus hardly knows about our existence, but we do lurk around his place here and yes, we like what we see. We even like his portrait (no doubt by his own brush):

We'd like to quote him more, but I still cannot figure out that cursed system he uses for his blog (something named StumbleUpon). As a result I cannot link his pieces. A good-hearted person is sought to advise on that matter.

Meanwhile, I am compelled to copy/paste an article that cracked me up recently, and I just have to share it with my guests:

Happy Easter, Stumble Bunnies

Happy Easter to all my friends and Stumble Bunnies. Eugene Wason, a former distinguished editor of The Belfast Telegraph once briefed a staff journalist on what he needed for a seasonal piece:
"Please write an article about Easter - but for God's sake keep religion out of it."
Pagan Easter traditions, along with Christmas celebrations, were among the first casualties of the Protestant Reformation. These holidays were eventually restored, but some Christians - usually, but not always fundamentalists - continue to reject the celebration of Easter because they believe it to be irrevocably tainted with paganism and idolatry.
That is the view of Jehovah's Witnesses, who instead observe "The Memorial" - that is, a commemoration of the Last Supper
In his 'De Temporum Ratione' the Venerable Bede (672-735) wrote that the month Eostremonat (April) was so named because of a goddess, Eostre, who had formerly been worshipped in that month.

  • Did you know the name for Easter in most world languages - including Welsh, Croatian, Gaelic, Norwgian, Persian, Afrikaans, Tagalog and Arabic - comes from one Hebrew word meaning "passover?"
I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I do, and I hope Thamus will forgive me the barbaric way I have behaved with his text.

Militants demand Abbas apology for condemning Tel Aviv attack

Haaretz, April 18, 2006.


17 April 2006

Is it a civil war?

Asks Sand Monkey in this depressing post. I hope not, I just hope sanity will prevail.

Them are strong words, ma'am

That British movement that is fighting the introduction of the ID card in UK is stating its case rather forcefully. Here is an example I have decided to copy in full, lest somebody blames me in going over the top:

Hmm... (Nice picture, by the way).

to PooterGeek.

Yahoo, shmahoo...

No, it is not just that their servers suck and that the e-mails get rejected several times before you succeed to send them.

It is not that they employ now a diabolical spam fighting "word verification" system that wastes minutes of your precious time to identify the stinking text and to write it correctly.

It is not that they are not the only ones fighting the spam. Gmail does too, and their response time is marvelous most of the time. And they are free.

It is that they do not want to recognize the problem publicly and do not respond to user's complaints at all or take a few weeks to do so. And that to their "premium", which means paying, customers. That really sucks.


Asimov in a church.

Norm brings a wonderful story here. Go and read it.

After having my dose of refreshing laughter, I wondered: could it be that the preacher in the story was an Asimov's fan? Most probably yes, since he was using one of his stories for a sermon.

Well, being a fan (I was one too at my time), the preacher knew that the late Asimov was one of the most prolific writers in existence. So the question he asked was not that absurd...


Lieberman must act against Iran?

Yes, "Lieberman must act against Iran" is one of the headlines of today's on-line edition of JP.

I have looked twice and decided to copy/paste it and add an image of the page as well:

It seems to be the idea of Yaakov Katz, mentioned earlier on that blog already. It figures.

Here is the picture of said Lieberman:

I am not sure that Iranian Ayatollahs and their pet president are able to read physiognomy or employ a person who is. If not, here is my analysis of the situation: gentlemen, you are fucked.

Better get away on the double. Go to Paris, France, where harboring the likes of you is an old tradition and get yourself hidden there.

Avigdor doesn't take no prisoners.

P.S. Yes, KK, I already know that people who write the articles are not usually responsible for the on-line headlines. So what?

Update: the title was changed, it reads now: "Lieberman: We must act against Iran"

Explosion in Tel Aviv; at least 30 people wounded

The explosion occured near the old bus station on Neve Sheanan str. in Tel-Aviv about 1:30 PM.
The reports talk about 30 people wounded.

Update: 4 people killed (so far unconfirmed by police or the ambulance service).
Update 3:00 PM: It is 6 people killed and 40 wounded, several in critical condition.
Update 9:00 PM: It is 9 people killed and approx. 65 wounded, 5 in critical condition.

16 April 2006

A to Z of Fisking Central

This post on Fisking Central with A-Z list of fisks on THEM gave me a feeling that the Euston Manifesto is quite OK. This is not to say it couldn't do with improvements as time goes. But when you look at the criticism points together, they are so contradictory that they serve rather a proof of sanity.

Regarding the most serious point (put forth by James Whicker here), which is that THEM puts too much effort in fighting the easy target of Guardianistas and others of the same ilk: I do not agree that the shrilly slogan-slinging left is a small bunch of harmless dolts. And re the lack of positive goals and means of achieving these in THEM: sometimes the goals could be easer formulated (and achieved) when stated in negative terms. Do you see that rock, Captain? Just steer half a mile west of it, and you will be fine...

On importance of pubs

Here you can read the skinny on the conception of THEM (The Euston Manifesto - I hope the acronym will find some traction with time). And here you can see more, and quite a lovely discussion with the usual insults to enjoy.

It is quite a time for somebody to start shaking up the nest of (largely stingless) hornets that is that lazy and ineffectual left of today. Get them out into the sunlight of reason from behind the cover of ridiculous catchy slogans and sort them out.

But this is not what this post is about. This post is about the unique role and importance of pubs in UK and the rest of Europe and the lack thereof in Israel.

Maybe the third glass of the best bitter being emptied at this moment by Mr. John Doe somewhere in a Manchester pub contains the answer to the life, the universe and how to solve the Middle East crisis (or, maybe, the solution is precisely the opposite - not to solve it, who knows...).

Mafia rivals battle to be 'Godfather'

At least this is what Barbara McMahon reports from Corleone.

Which is quite surprising, to tell you the truth. What exactly are these guys fighting for?

Let's see:

1) kill lotsa people in order to
2) get to be a capo di tutti i capi
3) spend 40+ years in hiding
4) and the rest of your life in a nick

Strange career path aspirations...

15 April 2006

PETA and Crucifixion

Our tireless friends of PETA are not content with pissing off the Jews. They are hell bent to prove that they are equal opportunity offenders. This time they have chosen to borrow the most powerful image of Christianity.

Vienna - A row erupted on Thursday over plans by animal protectionists to symbolically "crucify" three activists with animal masks in a Good Friday protest outside Vienna's St Stephan's Cathedral.

The militant pro-animal group PETA said the activists would be suspended from crosses with crowns of thorns on their heads.

The slogan of the protest action would be "We suffer and die for your sins of nourishment."

Up to now, our sins of nourishment have not included eating PETA members. Judging by the picture, there is not a lot of good eating of that chicken. On the other hand, it is low cholesterol vegan meat, so those of us, carnivores, that battle high cholesterol levels, may take heed.

Now we are waiting with baited breath for the Muslim imagery from PETA. Surely it would be a nice and politically correct addition to the vegan menu?

In related news: vegans protest treatment of sheep in Australia in the nude.

US animal rights activists stripped off today in the first of a worldwide series of nude demonstrations to protest Australia's treatment of sheep. A small group of members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) demonstrated outside the Australian embassy in Washington. In the coming days PETA plans nude protests outside Australian embassies in Vienna, Berlin, Paris and Sao Paulo. In Washington, four women and one man stripped down to g-strings and painted Australian flags on their bodies.

Since the article does not carry the picture of the protesters, choosing instead an idyllic snapshot of a ruminants family, one has to assume that the "small group" was not especially attractive in the nude.

More media members than activists were there to cover the spectacle. "We definitely attracted a lot of attention," said Brandi Valladolid, a PETA spokesperson and one of the nude protesters. "Of course, protests like these are designed to create attention and it was a big success. We had 13 media outlets there."

Poor schlubs...

Ms Valladolid said employees at the Australian embassy showed interest in the demonstration. "We noticed a lot of people in the embassy glued to their windows watching the demonstration wondering what the hell was going on," she said.

A word to the wise, Brandi: some of them Aussies have an acquired... no, this is for Meryl's place as well. Let's just say that the word "skewer" has more than one meaning, OK?

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

14 April 2006

The Euston Manifesto - welcome to the world!

We hope that in a year or two we shall look back at these days and celebrate a beginning of something meaningful that will help the people of good will get back to their senses.

Follows the text of the announcement from the site of The Euston Manifesto.

Today, 13Apr06, we -— bloggers, academics, campaigners, writers, scientists, journalists, citizens -— launch the Euston Manifesto. With this document we hope to publicly assert our progressive, democratic, egalitarian, internationalist principles in the face of recent attacks upon them from the Right and, to our dismay, the Left.

Many of us are of the Left, but we come from across the range of political positions. We are not founding a political party. There were differences amongst us over Western military intervention in Iraq. Our declaration is not definitive, final, or perfect; it is, we hope, the beginning of a renewed debate, grounded in a common set of progressive values. You can read and sign the document at our Website where donations towards our costs are also welcome.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), we here cannot follow the recommendation of the good folks of the Euston Manifesto and close the comments - it will be against our policy, besides, we just love lunatics.

Anyway - happy birthday to THEM and ways to go!

(And the reason I have signed up is simple (as in SimplyJews): this looks like a voice of sanity in our oh so crazy days. Well, they got a cool button too...)

Suicide bombers motivations

Fabian unearthed here an interesting article on the subject. (Be patient, you have to scroll for English version).


Irregular Fowl Movement

AbbaGav here made me run around the laptop flapping my wings happily. Is it a first sign of the nerd flu?


Ahmadinejad's sense of humor

A surprising article in the Guardian today. Robert Tait tells a familiar story about the Big Brother in the modern environment.

The misdirected email or text message is a hazard of our age. It can sour relationships and upset the closest of our friends. But now a stray electronic missive has been blamed for a spate of arrests, a national scandal and a very grumpy president of Iran.

"Stray electronic missive"? Such naivete from a journalist? No matter, let's see more.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Islamic nation's firebrand leader, has taken umbrage at an unwelcome text received on his mobile phone. According to whispered accounts in the Iranian capital, his ire was stirred when someone sent him a joke suggesting he didn't wash regularly enough.

Surely he uses uranium hexafluoride as mouth wash these days?

Although officials claim he possesses a lively sense of humour that belies his rather hairshirt image, on this occasion it suffered a serious failure. Realising the joke was doing the rounds of Iranian mobile phones, the notoriously temperamental president lodged an official complaint with Iran's judiciary department.

That in turn has acted as a pretext for an official purge of the SMS system in the country. Mr Ahmadinejad has since told his staff to pay close attention to all jokes circulating about him by text.

An anti-regime website called Rooz Online claims that under the crackdown the head of the country's mobile phone company has been sacked and four people arrested and accused of colluding with the Israeli foreign intelligence service, Mossad.

Aha! I knew it will come up sooner or later. Then the news of the guy having, how to say it - hygienic problems, are thoroughly checked by Mossad and should be taken as correct!

"While the outcome of the recent arrests in connection with SMS messaging is not clear yet, what is certain is that SMS jokes have already put some people into serious trouble," wrote the website Rooz Online.

The clampdown is in line with the authorities' uncompromising stance on the internet and bloggers. Wary of modern communications as a means of spreading political dissent, Iran is second only to China in the number of websites it filters - using technology made in America.

Large numbers of the nation's estimated 70,000 to 100,000 bloggers have faced harassment or imprisonment. The regime has acknowledged monitoring text message traffic. It first admitted it had access to text traffic last December when a military plane carrying more than 100 journalists crashed shortly after take-off at Tehran airport.

So it is not exactly a "stray electronic missive" after all, is it, Mr. Tait? The article seems to be written and signed by one person, so how difficult is it to connect the dots? How difficult it is to see the hand of the Big Brother, specially in a case when the hand is not hiding?

Which reminds me another article from the same place: an hysterical piece by Simon Jenkins. Hardly coherent, it includes the following passage:

One country in the region that has retained some political pluralism is Iran. It has shown bursts of democratic activity and, importantly, has experienced internal regime change. If ever there was a nation not to drive to the extreme it is Iran.

Some burst of democratic activity, indeed. Any more of these, and Iran will start importing barbed wire from the most experienced manufacturers, like Russia and China.

Which, in the context of the subject, reminds me an old Soviet joke: Khruschev tells Kennedy during a meeting: "You know, I just love and collect political jokes. I have already got two concentration camps full of this stuff".


Cross-posted on Yourish.com


As other bloggers' habit, I am also looking at some curious search strings. Andrew Ian Dodge makes do with statistics, which, granted, bring some interesting results. I, on the other hand, have decided to be customer-friendly and shall do my best to continue answering the requests to the best of my ability from time to time. So here goes another portion.

Q: Origin of Bubbie?

A: The "Random Glory" trailer park, Bad Ass, Texas.

Q: Jews taking over Palestine?

A: Doesn't look so lately. But we'll check again.

Q: David'’s dad?

A: No. No, no, no.

Q: Be mad as hatter?

A: OK, just read few more posts here and you shall get there in a jiffy.

Q: Jews importance in UK?

A: Jews in UK? Where have you picked up this ridiculous rumour?

Q: Bin Laden Dream Moussaoui?

A: Is it a question or an answer? Thanks for the tip anyway. We cound't have suspected...

Q: Iran nukes?

A: No, thanks.

Q: Simply sex?

A: It could be unethical between the blogger and... aw, what the heck, OK!

Q: Zionist robots?

A: A lot of this going around later. But they are easily outed - just stand up and sing Hatikva at the top of your voice. They will get to you in droves.

Q: Akaky conflict?

A: Nope. It is a dastardly rumor, spread by the enemies of... whatever.

Q: Lord Levy?

A: We have left him a message, just tidy your place and he shall drop by.

Q: Reptile?

A: See "Zionist robots" above. They are a pretty mixed bunch nowadays, difficult to distinguish. Hatikva works on reptiles too, they cannot overcome the attraction.

Q: Nicolas Cage political affiliation?

A: 1. Nicolas Cage 2. Hollywood. 3. No - we are not involved.

Q: Nebuchadnezzar?

A: Been there, done it. Not advised.

Q: Maternal lineJewishh?

A: And how else do you make sure? All this DNA mumbo-jumbo?


A: That too.

Q: Robot penises?

A: Oh, man, it is like going to a Ferrari after a Ford Escort. But they are reserved only for the Elders' elite, you know. Anyway, give us a call, maybe we'll manage to squeeze you in...

Q: No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. Anti semite.

A: We are not at all sure that it is a question, dear anti-Semite. Anyway, why quoting Stanislaw Jerzy Lec, if you are an anti-Semite? Cheer up, there are a lot of non-Jewish authors out there too.

OK, now: Happy Easter to all our friends of Christian persuasion. Eat, drink and be merry!

13 April 2006

Loves / doesn't love, loves / doesn't, ...

My heart really goes out to the Hamas' elected officials. On one hand, they are trying to do their best projecting hate to all things Israeli and Jewish. Their charter is alive and vibrant as usual. Their encouragement of the Qassam rocket launches continues, the number of suicide bombers has not dropped and all the alphabet soup gangs fare very well, thanks to Hamas' leadership.

But, on the other hand, their bank account is suffering somewhat, and the lip service paid by their Arab brethren is mostly what it is: lip service, not necessarily followed up by the real money wired from their bank accounts.

So Hamas is in feverish search for a formula that will allow then to make Europeans and others happy with their new peaceful facelift and at the same time to explain to their captive internal audience that nothing has changed and that the Jooz still have to be killed off. And let the simoleons to flow from the usual suckers.

It is not to say that Europeans are not ready to accept any old two-faced formula, no, many of them are quite willing. Some of them (see the case of Norway) are not even waiting for that face-saving formula to be brought forth. Still, Hamas are new in the murky business of politics, and they have still not mastered completely the necessary language. It will take a few weeks more.

Meanwhile, Al Jazeera is happy to announce that "Hamas 'willing' to recognize Israel". Pay attention to the fact that even Al Jazeera is suspicious of that "willing".

The Hamas-led Palestinian government is willing to recognize Israel if the latter withdraws fully from West Bank, East Jerusalem and Gaza Strip, Al Jazeera. net has reliably learnt. Sources close to Ismail Haniya, the Palestinian prime minister, described the Hamas decision as a "significant change in policy". "What it means is that the Palestinian government is willing to recognize Israel if Israel met certain conditions, including a complete withdrawal from the territories Israel occupied in 1967," a source told Al Jazeera.net on Wednesday.

What it means to normal, skeptically-minded people is that Hamas is in a feverish search for that magic double-tongued formula that will open the coffers of the US and Europeans again.

Take a good look an another Al Jazeera article published only two days earlier, concerning the unfortunate Hamas letter to UN:

The official UN translation from Arabic quotes al-Zahar as saying that Israel's "de facto annexation of the area, will definitely rule out any hope of achieving a settlement and peace based on a two-state solution".

When Mansour distributed an unofficial translation on April 4, al-Zahar told reporters in Gaza that the wrong version had been sent to the UN and produced another one without references to the two-state solution.

Oh well. Eventually, I have not a shred of doubt about it, Hamas will find that formula, and the money will start coming in.

One point, though: if Hamas consider for a moment that we shall continue sitting on our backsides, ripping the petals off from nearby flowers and mumbling "Loves / doesn't, loves / doesn't...", they may have a surprise coming.

Although - there are no surprises in the Middle East politics, surely. Too bad.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

You still must heed your mother's words

"How Godfather was betrayed by his need for clean pants", says the headline of Times Online article.

He eluded capture for 43 years. But in the end he was betrayed by the need for clean underwear. Bernardo Provenzano, the Mafia "“boss of bosses"” who was arrested this week, was traced to his Sicilian hideaway by police who tracked a delivery of laundry. Provenzano, who had not been seen since going into hiding in 1963, asked his wife to send him "“a pack of washed and ironed clothes:”" -— underpants, shirts, and socks.

Which shows that capo di tutti i capi was a good boy and really listened to the advice his mother gave him regarding the necessity of clean underwear.

Of course, the author of the article cannot restrain himself from smirking. But there is another fact that should be considered: "he eluded capture for 43 years".

So, boys, do not listen to Times reporters. Listen to your mothers and make sure your underwear is clean. In case police gets you and you have to undergo a strip-down search.

And may you elude capture for 43 years. Or more.

12 April 2006

Contribution of the Elders

This article from ABC News caught us unaware. It seems that our Eye needs some fine tuning, and the Signals department (talk about lazy no-goodniks) was duly posted about this lapse.

Pakistan's military airdropped pamphlets this week over towns in restive tribal regions near the Afghan border urging tribesmen to shun "foreign terrorists," saying they were part of a Hindu and Jewish plot. The pamphlets were dropped over Wana, the main town in South Waziristan, and Miranshah in North Waziristan as part of a campaign to win support among tribesmen who have shown sympathy for both Taliban and remnants of al Qaeda living among them.

A Reuters reporter in Tank, a town close to the boundary with the semi-autonomous tribal agency of South Waziristan, obtained one of the pamphlets, bearing the sign-off "Well Wishers, Pakistan's Armed Forces."

Titled "Warning," the pamphlets said the foreign militants were fighting against Pakistan in connivance with "Jews and Hindus," a term that would play on traditional prejudices among the region's Muslim conservatives.

There were some outcries of indignation among the Elders at first, but on the second thought: hey, folks, if it helps to rub out a few Taliban and/or al Qaeda baddies, why not?

As a gesture of good will and a visual aid to go with the pamphlets, we are providing to Pakistani Air Force the three following pictures :

We hope the pictures will go a long way toward firing up the righteous hate of the locals in Waziristan and catching and disposing of the "foreign militants".

In addition, we are searching our archives for the details of Bin Laden's pedigree, and I am happy to tell that some info has been already unearthed. It appears that he is indeed a Jew Zionist, born as Sammy Ben Lieden in Jerusalem. Here is his picture as a child:

(Don't you just hate this Zionist smirk on his face?). Anyway, you are welcome to this useful data, and we promise more.

Dear Pakistani Air Force command, please keep us posted on your further needs of hateful anti-Semitic propaganda. We know where to find it in droves.

Good luck from the Elders' Hasbara department.

Hat tip: DR

Ballet for nuclear shahids?

Amidst the fanfare of Iranian poster boy's (see here) announcement about the success of uranium enrichment, a bizarre piece of news went almost unnoticed. Haaretz, courtesy of AP, displays a photo:

with the following caption:

Dancers performing as they hold capsules of uranium hexafluoride during a ceremony in Mashhad, Iran on Tuesday. (AP)

It looks like Iran is developing not only its military capabilities, but a new art form as well: ballet for nuclear shahids.

Balletomanes of the world are holding their breath in expectation of the unveiling. Indeed, the first glimpses of this unique spectacle are very promising:

  • The lyrical Polonaise of nuclear scientists with the Corps de ballet of German and Russian engineers following their slow and erratic movement
  • Divertissement of the moment of truth: the senior scientist performs a unique mix of rumba and belly dance, triumphantly waiving his thick glasses in the air, showing off his shins
  • Divertissement of the nuclear technician with his tame centrifuge, producing the first sample of enriched uranium
  • Pas de deux of Ahmadinejad with the red button
  • Mazurka de la nuit: the last Zionists remaining alive run around the scene, feverishly glowing in the dark
  • Coda: the Corps de ballet of the world, liberated from the chains of Zionism, dances under the benign, but watchful eyes of the Allah and his Ayatollahs, praising the divine guidance of the Almighty and his Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
The unconfirmed rumors say that the ballet critics of The Guardian, Independent, Al Jazeera, The Daily Worker / Morning Star are going to publish rave reviews of the new production, being allowed to see some selected scenes.

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

11 April 2006

Church Sign Smackdown!

Many thanks to Darmon for turning my attention to this hilarious exchange of church sign texts.


Isaac Schrodinger needs your help.

Isaac is an ex-Muslim living now in Canada. He is not (yet) a citizen of Canada and is in danger of being repatriated back to Pakistan, where he was born.

A few months from now he will have a hearing in front of a Refugee Board in Canada.

It may sound absurd, but Canadian authorities require him to provide the proof of danger that awaits him if he is forcibly returned to Pakistan. Apostates are in danger of being sentenced to death in several countries, including Pakistan, so there is no need to explain more.

He is asking for support. Please read and do what you can.

P.S. It is a strange world we live in. If Isaac were an extremist religious cleric, quite a few "enlightened" Western countries (no names, please) will be clamoring for the right to provide a shelter for him. I know that this is not the time to discuss this, but...

The Woods Are Alive With The Sounds Of Germans

It seems that I am not the only one enjoying an occasional morsel from Ananova's table.

Dodgeblogium stumbled on two interesting stories complementing one another. Enjoy.

No fear? Really?

The internet newspaper Al Bawaba quotes Iranian pres:

Ahmadinejad: Iranian people fear nothing

Hmm... Is it really so? Let's check. How about this one:

Not afraid? You know, upon a second thought, I am not afraid too. After all, if you are sufficiently close to where it goes off, the end is quick and painless. No time even to say "down with these cursed cartoons", and you are a speck of dust. Let's check another one:

Not afraid of this one too? Well, you cannot say I have not tried. Fine, I can believe it, this one is quite old and doesn't have a lot of meat on it anymore.

Now to the ultimate test. Take a quick look at first, don't stare, it may be lethal:

What, still no fear?

You know, dear Iranian people, now you are trying to pull my leg. Duh!

Porn star's offer to Bin Laden

Italy's most famous porn star Cicciolina has offered herself to Osama Bin Laden.

The 55-year-old actress said it was about time somebody tackled the terrorist and claimed she could be just the woman for the job. Speaking at an erotic fair in Bucharest, Romania, Cicciolina said: "It is time someone did something about Bin Laden, and I am ready to do it.

There is no doubt that it is quite the time to do something about OBL. On the other hand, while not discounting the benefits of sex, I wonder whether it will do any good to this character. Unless, of course, it involves that famous snake of Cicciolina strangling the bastard for desserts.

The snake, however, must be on its last leg (it is 2006 out there, to remind you). If the snake owner looks like this today:

imagine how the poor snake fares!

It's a pity Cicciolina hasn't come up with this idea 20 year ago. It may have saved the world a lot of headache. As it is now, though, it is unclear which way the charity goes...

Hamas - opening the first envelope

Under a headline: Al-Zahar wants 'Palestine from river to sea' Ynet tells the not very new story of the Hamas' foreign policy.

Israel must not be recognized and the Palestinian Foreign Ministry should aim to establish a Palestinian State from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean, in place of the Jewish State, PA Foreign Minister Mahmoud al-Zahar said according to Palestinian media reports.

So Hamas is consistent, and if you ask me, it is better this way. Their attempts to master the double-tongue politics of the predecessors are not very successful - so much for the openness!

It is another point that attracted my attention in the article:

During the session, Haniyeh announced "Palestinian coffers are empty", and added that his government inherited problems left behind by the previous Fatah-led government.

As if we do not know what is the real reason for the empty coffers...

Anyway, this declaration is a de-facto implementation of the first step in the famous three envelopes program. Interesting how much time we'll have to wait till the next envelope in opened.

For those not familiar with this classic of the management pratices: every manager must leave, as his/her last act in the office, three envelopes for his/her heir. The envelopes should be opened in 1,2,3 sequence with an appropriate time between each. The envelopes must contain the following texts:

  1. Blame the previous manager
  2. Blame the inept staff he/she left
  3. Prepare your three envelopes

Cross-posted on Yourish.com

09 April 2006

Jews for what?

One may wish to say it better than this. Would be futile trying, I am sure.

A "Progressive" Opinion

is the title of this post by Judeosphere, and a must read it is. I cannot resist offering a quote from it:

If you denounce a shoddy, academic documentary that purports to portray American Muslims as part of a conspiracy that threatens the security of the United States, then you are exercising your right to free speech. But, if you denounce a shoddy, academic study that purports to portray American Jews as part of a conspiracy that threatens the security of the United States, then you are suppressing free speech.

08 April 2006

Two-bit prophecies around a hard-boiled egg

Warning: this post is full of aimless weekend rumblings caused by an innocent hard-boiled egg eaten as part of my breakfast.

One may ask, what a normal human being would consume a hard-boiled egg at breakfast? And one will be in his/her rights asking that perfectly legitimate question. A normal human should eat a happy-faced fried egg, sunny side up, with a runny yolk. And not before applying judicious quantities of salt, pepper or other peppy condiment according to his/her taste. And not just one egg, but two, or, better, three, all in that perfect sunny side up state of being.

But, as SWMBO rules, fried eggs sunny side up are to be eschewed as long as the bird flu runs high and mighty around the Middle East. Funny that - we, the Zionists, invented and unleashed on the world this curse (at least our cousins claim so), and now we cannot open our collective mouth without inhaling that cursed virus...

Anyway, this is not about Zionism. It is about prophecies that come true. And here I am proud (moderately, since it is all two-bit stuff) to mention that several months ago I have predicted that March will be the month when the malady gets to our area. The reasoning was simple: more than half of European birds migrate to and from the green hills of Africa via that row of rivers, valleys and whatnot that is called Syrian-African Fault (or the Great Rift Valley) and happens to cross Israel. Where it is known as Jordan river, Galilean Sea, Dead sea etc. It only makes sense that our chicken, turkeys and other poultry will catch the bird flu as soon as the migration starts. And here we are - up to our arses in dead poultry.

Being a born pessimist, I can add another two-bit prophecy. This will deal with the first person in Israel to get the bird flu. It will start with Gazan and Israeli smugglers, who could care less about all these fences and security surrounding Gaza. Greed knows no borders. The whole story will include a few cases of infected eggs smuggled from there, a typical Israeli family that, as usual, could care less about the health ministry warnings and a fried egg or two - sunny side up...
Well, let's move on to some more heart-warming matters. That boiled egg reminded me also that the Passover is close and that the egg has a direct relation to that most important holiday of ours. Here I must apologize to all my Israeli readers, that story I am going to tell is, most probably, very well known to all. But others may be less aware of it, and there must be a lesson in it. Somewhere, at least.

One of the items consumed during the Passover meal is a hard-boiled egg that is traditionally dipped into salt water. Whatever is the historic reason for this tradition, the more modern explanation goes like this: Moses did part the Red Sea waters for the tribe of Israel to march to the other shore. However, being Jewish (not an Israeli, no, but still...) he was carrying the gene of what is known today as "chaltura", which is a Russian word widely used in Israel to signify a shoddy job. As a result of Moses' chaltura, the waters parted only to leave a meter and some of the salty liquid, sufficient to reach a man's waist. And this is why...

So here we are, back to the hard-boiled egg, and Happy Pesach/Passover to all!

07 April 2006

Now it is an offensive church...

Andrew Ian Dodge brings this story about the failed terror attack on a church in Bologna. And the reason for the attack was:

They believe it depicts Islam's Prophet Muhammad in Hell being devoured by demons.

I believe I have a birthmark on my backside (never seen it myself, it's from eyewitnesses) that depicts something so offensive to all religions that I cannot talk about it here. So, any fundie is cordially invited to take a shufti.

P.S. A commenter on Andrew's place asks a perfectly relevant question:

How is a Muslim supposed to know what Mohammed looks like anyway, since surely any image is blasphemous to Islam?

PC minds - clouded or lost?

The headline of a bizarre AP article (courtesy of Guardian):

Crowe's folk gig clouded by stage smoking claims

Looks like political/health correctness took over another island on the globe, this time it is the green and beautiful New Zealand.

The actor Russell Crowe is under a cloud in his homeland for allegedly smoking while singing in clubs with his band despite New Zealand's public smoking ban. Crowe, 41, allegedly lit up in two clubs and a concert hall during his three-gig tour with his folk-rock band The Ordinary Fear of God.

Gosh - how boring are our lives, if lighting up in a non-smoking club makes the headlines?

Now, what kind of punishment fits that heinous crime? By accident (no, really) I have stumbled upon that family site that describes the hanging of a family's ancestor. The story of Newgate hanging inspired me to submit the following proposal:

I believe that hanging the devils in public places should be the best lesson. It is time to show them, these bastards, that we care about their health.

Also, we should not forget the good of the public. From the same site:

Hangings were a hugely popular form of public entertainment. Crowds would cry and howl with delight at the death of a fellow man.

Isn't it killing two birds with one rope, so to say?

But there seems to be a catch. Another quote:

In the press at the time it was reported that, 'the fear of the gallows has little effect on that class of society who are daily on the high road to it.'

You know, being one of that class of society (the smokers) myself, I suspect that there is a lot of truth in it. The road mentioned above is lonely and difficult as it is. Maybe it is time for politically correct dorks to leave smokers alone and find some new holy grail to shriek and flap their wings about? Like global warming. Or capitalism. Or inalienable rights of the animals. Or the dastardly Zionists and their insidious ways.

Er... wait...

06 April 2006

Oh, that bleeding edge of science...

This report on the results of a new healthy eating study is a smasher, I promise. A few quotes to prove it:

A low-calorie diet, even in people who are not obese, can lead to changes in metabolism and body chemistry that have been linked to better health and longer life, researchers are reporting.

Were not these "changes in metabolism and body chemistry" called simply "hunger" before this study?

Among the main findings of Dr. Ravussin's study was that calorie restriction led to decreases in insulin levels and body temperature. Both are considered signs of longevity, partly because an earlier study by other researchers found both traits in long-lived people.

Longevity and low body temperature. I guess that restriction on calories could lead one's body to the room temperature eventually. For a very long, one might even say unlimited, time.

But the most striking discovery of this research I have found near the end of the article

Part of the reason for the study, Dr. Ravussin said, was to find out whether people could stand calorie restriction. The participants, who were paid, turned out to be highly motivated, he said.

Wow! What will these scientists come up with next?